Forty eight million one hundred thirteen thousand six hundred forty six
Marina forty. Mom Marina – sixty. Whole life Irina was to be good. It is because love is only received when done something good, even excellent. It set the example to all, she took pride in her notice. She's average for a family of five children. And the appearance is unremarkable, a gray. And each five made her a very prominent figure in the family, where parents with no education, and sisters and brothers – Trinity.
Each time at the end of the school year waiting for her moment of glory. Honours pupil. The pride of parents. Equals it! For this, it is true, then flew from brothers and sisters. But this moment was worth it. With bated breath, she waited for may, when it again will happen. Again it will be the best. It will see it will praise!
Then she realized that it was possible to strengthen. If you do what the mother asks. And to do it well. Even if she asks. While she is sleeping to clean the house, bake pies. Mom gets up and praises the example of puts. In the morning a cow to milk, chickens to feed. And when mom starts to get dressed, to tell her that it did and can not go anywhere. Again to a portion of "love".
Afraid to disappoint mom, dad. He was afraid to fall face in the dirt. Get worse.…
So she's doing in life five. Even at ten. Nobody has ever denied, all of them. Someone will give money, even if itself is not enough. Someone a home repair is committed to ensuring. Someone food include. Even if most have nothing.
And then she became a mother. Single mom. Husband could not stand her perfection. And even when he left, I could not say anything except: "From your ideal sick". Girlfriend Irina Ivanovna was comforting. Because he's an asshole and she's a good student and a super-woman. She's right, and he lost. Mom and dad, of course, is disappointed. What a husband she chose and the family is not saved...
Really. He disappeared in the alcohol. And she did it. Raised a daughter. One. At first I worked in the school Marinina class. Then built a career at a job that hated. Never married. The whole life of the child. Although there have been attempts, but all ended sadly. So she stopped trying. However, health has increasingly been the difficulty – the inability to Express and to deny sore throat. Anyway grab all the time here and there.
Marina grew clever. In mom. That's just the nature... it was said that father. Cathal tantrums, crying, fighting. Shame. Thought Irina Ivanovna. So did her friend. Shame. And Marina couldn't think of anything. She just wanted her mother noticed. To stop try so hard to be perfect mom. And just looked her in the eye.
What would she see there? The joy that mom is so wonderful? And the dress will sew, and garden help, and the apartment itself makes, and raising a daughter alone.... No. In the eyes of the Marina – loneliness. The loneliness of two. Because mother married to own ideality. And the daughter is only a hindrance. A distraction, a disgrace. Tears new custom made dress. Draws on svezhepoymannyh Wallpaper. And even seemingly failed. On the mountain-dad similar. Small eyes, big nose, legs, curves, crooked teeth, spikey hair... her dad.
Marina shouts, "I'm here!"— but her mother does not hear. Mother again and again doing what's right. Makes it five. It is admired. And Marina again black sheep of his flock. Learn worse than mom. Behave worse. Hands do not grow out – that's your mother! Anyway – it would not be you, it would be at least his life would....
The most difficult part for me was the mismatch of pictures. What her mother saw others and how she saw Marina, it was two different people. With everyone else she was kind and reliable, always helped and smiled. The activist of the parent Committee, the welcoming hostess, all of the kids cakes feeds. But the negative is accumulated, and has always resulted in a daughter. Therefore, Marina remembered my mother was seething with bile and constantly abused behind his back. And all the difficulties she plucked at her daughter. No one else had no idea that this almost Holy women know how to swear, humiliate and hate all around. No one but Marina.
Marina grew up. Over time, she learned to adapt. Tried to do everything perfectly. And she did, if there was no mother. Next to her mother, she was always worse. Stupider, uglier. No abilities, no talents, no zeal.
And then got married. And coped with everything as she could – not perfect. But once in the apartment were the mother shrank from the horror. Then the cloth is bad, then spot, then the pan is bad, the food is fresh, the cake is not cooked.... Because mom it was perfect. At home and at work. Personal was no – but that's probably just because is did not work, and anyhow not wanted.
And mom reminded Marina all the time, who's Queen. What did you do wrong, aren't there.... How old is Marina afraid of this, how many years of fighting... Everything in her life was a joy. Husband, two kids, love the work. And only the children fear to shame mom did not give to relax.
What my mom think of me? If I don't stand up and do not collect herself a child in kindergarten, mom would say that I'm lazy. If I have guests to feed, then again slothful and greedy. If the floor is not clean I messy. If you sleep will fall before it is selfish. If yourself dress buying, and the money needed for repairs – spender. Mom's perfect.
But one day something happened. Something that changed the whole life of the Marina. She saw reason and realized. Understand everything. A mom in these moments led... envy. Simple female jealousy. On the one hand she was happy for her daughter. And on the other hand she'd like to live.
She never had a husband, it was not possible to relax. And Marina had a wonderful husband.
All envy. What mother worse than other women?
Irina Ivanovna has only one child, she would like a second, but no one. Marina two of them.
Mom would like to raise a daughter with the father. But it didn't work. And Marina's husband is a great dad.
Mom would like to think more about himself, but always tries to be all good. Therefore, lie could not in broad daylight. And would like to afford.
Mom would dream to work for fun. But was forced to earn a living for themselves and daughters. And now my daughter is almost a housewife. Knitting something crochet favorite, sells. And feeds all husband.
The mother would not survive due to the evaluations of others. But I can't. But Marina can. And may deny, and complain. The only person whose opinion for it, scared is the mother.
And when that realization came... the Marina easier. Much easier. And then she realized that she too is jealous of her daughter, which has such a loving and caring father. She would also like a dad. After the second awareness improved relationship with my daughter. Finally.
And after the first – has changed the relationship with my mom. Finally understanding, acceptance, awareness and love. Ironically, true love came after the adoption and understanding. To see the mother of a man with his destiny – this is the most important step to take... posted