Four Givens that accompany the person throughout his whole life
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I know several types of men with whom women choose to enter relationships. The first type of men wants a woman he was given completely to one of the most important senses he was. In such a relationship the woman becomes a housewife, raise children, or a housekeeper is already there, children stay with a babysitter, but a woman engaged to go to the fitness clubs, solariums, beauty salons, a woman goes to work, but not getting there enough money. In a nutshell, women of the first type become dependent on men, showing low social activity or not showing it at all, which in itself is neither good nor bad. Difficulties start to arise when a man makes the decision to leave her for another woman, or loses his job or even dies. Then questions of social activity, making money, own Hobbies and interests, the meaning of life, by and large, begin to become very sharp.
The second type of men worked long and hard gaining any woman, showering her with roses, giving expensive gifts. When the fortress is conquered and becomes a man becomes a very important and meaningful, one of the very important meanings of life or the most important, he leaves. For he conquered the fortress is not more interest. and he goes on conquering new issues of their own meanings begin to arise.
This list goes on. In the opposite direction, when a man is a sense of a woman's life, and she leaves, that works too.
I think you can recall various examples from his or someone else's experience.
I often see that partners in the relationship on a rather unconscious level, teach each other not to betray themselves and their own meanings in life, their interests, their friends, their jobs, their habits, and every minute of fun: soak in the bubble bath, read a silly romance novel, sit in a cafe with a friend, to chat with another on the phone, to watch football on TV with a glass of beer, poloskati seeds in the kitchen and so on.
Because when the partner refuses to give you some important things for himself and the second partner becomes in this sense, sometimes the only, it becomes uninteresting as the first.
American psychotherapist Brenda Davis in his book ”Journey through the rainbow chakras” saw man with chamomile. The middle of the chamomile, the basis for that is a human nature, something important, the true spiritual Foundation of man, and the petals — a variety of social and not social things that are certainly important: home, family, parents, relationship with your loved one, work, Hobbies, making money, pet, travel the world and stuff. But when one of the petals off (out favorite), the basis-the heart hurts, but the Foundation remains alive, and the torn off petals will grow a new one. But if a person puts in their core-the Foundation of the relationship, and they suddenly collapse, Daisy dies - heart broken.
In existential therapy describes the four Givens that accompany a person all his life. Is freedom everywhere and in everything (I can choose how to live their lives, choose certain relationships, stay in them or not, can choose to follow the generally accepted rules and principles, and may not follow).
Another reality is the lack of permanent, stable meanings of life. Throughout human life and its deeper meanings continually change: in the childhood sense could be a trip to the sea or a pretty new dress, in adult age it can be tough family relationship, or a favorite work. Meanings can change, be new, to leave the old.
Another reality is mortality, the finiteness of our existence in this world. (Here, I think, comments not necessary).
The last existential reality - that is loneliness. Throughout life or some segment of its people can be lonely. Alone in his business, his views on life, actions, deeds, thoughts, feelings without associates or partners in relationship, who would have to heat and maintain at a difficult moment. Just about this reality I write.
Looks sad, but the point of my article is not to make You sad. Just when a moment in your life has come or is about to happen or life partner has become a long stay at work, and at the meeting to mutter something to the chief and difficult financial situation of the campaign, remember what you love to do most in the world. Maybe go shopping with a friend or eat ice cream, and can skate on figure skates, dance or cross stitching? And how long have You been in a movie and made myself something nice?
In the above-mentioned existential psychotherapy was given about the choice. In this case, the choice of how to use the time that was released, or what to do with the treatment partner. You can choose to start with ourselves, to remember their little and big meanings of small and large fun and maybe coming home after shopping with a friend, you will see a table and a huge bouquet of times on the table or on the way home you will meet a beautiful man or woman who will be Your partner. Because when a person is harmonized, the universe responds in kind...posted