The youngest child is the one who never grows up.

The youngest child is the one who never grows up in the eyes of a large family. He is always a child, even if he is forty. This has its advantages, but also its disadvantages. It is clear that this affects girls and boys differently. Some are more for the good, others the opposite.

Parents raising another child are usually already savvy. They are not so worried, do not make unnecessary movements. That's a plus, of course. More is allowed, less is demanded, almost nothing is expected. In this sense, he is much easier than the older. But at the same time, younger boys usually lack motivation to act. No one expects anything. If they do not find this motivation within themselves, it is quite possible that life will pass averaging than they themselves are unlikely to be satisfied.

Young children have a number of strong qualities. These are the best diplomats. They can find a way out of almost any situation. Create a problem where it needs to be created. They can become excellent lawyers due to their flexibility and ability to build relationships.

They are usually very gentle and affectionate. And they gave them food and comfort. It's the last time. In terms of love, they get the most from their parents. The love of parents is more relaxed, more selfless, more open. It is often only by the second or third child that the mother begins to truly love. And splashes out on the junior for all the previous ones.

Juniors are optimistic, they usually have a good sense of humor. Only the elder can survive without humor in a large family (until he drags all the others on himself). They are small suns, with them warm, cozy and soulful. They learned to be so sunny because that’s what they expected.

But there's a problem. Sunshine is not always their present state. Often it is a mask that they are used to wearing, but they do not know or understand themselves at all. They didn’t have the need to identify and search for themselves as average. They did not have as many expectations of their parents as their elders. It is very difficult for them to know who they really are and what they want.

Of course, much depends on the sex of the child and other children. If all children are of the same sex, the latter is often a failure. Again, it was not possible to give birth to a child of the right sex. Therefore, with all the love and tenderness of his parents, he may feel his inferiority and not even understand what the reason is.

If the third attempt succeeds and the right boy (or girl) is born, we get the little emperor in all its glory. He will probably even surpass the only one in his egocentrism and pamperedness. After all, nothing special is expected from him, everyone is just happy that he finally exists!

Young children are used to being cared for in this world. Not only mom and dad, but the elders too – forced, but obliged. Of course, this complicates their adult life a bit - not everyone agrees with this. Especially if you have the same object of attention as yourself.

The youngest in the family is never taken seriously. He's cute and funny, but he talks nonsense and he can't decide on his own. This is very disturbing for both the child and the adult. Any decision is always challenged, often not asked his opinion. Often this attitude gives rise to younger rebelliousness (especially in boys), they can become very uncomfortable during adolescence and after it.

They, like average people, want to compete with older people. But there are at least two of these seniors. If they are of the same sex, it is a disaster. He'll never get to the seniors. You can never beat them or beat them. He remains only cunning, manipulation and acting. That's how secretly the elder provoked - he got hit, and you were taken on the handles. It's convenient. And develops in the younger rapid ingenuity. It can be used for good deeds, if necessary.

In addition, if the older one is successful in something, the younger one will often simply not take it. For example, if a senior paints well, he may resist drawing as such. Even if you want to, there is a conviction inside – I will not succeed as well, then there is no need to try.

It is very difficult for young children to grow up. Not just because they don’t know why or how. The family is struggling against it. After all, while the youngest is still a child, parents feel younger. Younger children live longer in the parental family, they are rarely expelled from there. They can be provided with money longer. This, of course, negatively affects their responsibility for their lives. They are not familiar with the word responsibility.

It is difficult for young people to become parents. But not for the reason that we often find in older people. The elders have already become, as it were, “parents” for their younger brothers and sisters, have had grief – and are afraid of repeating this nightmare with responsibilities. It is very difficult for young people to take care of someone else. They are used to taking care of themselves.

The younger masterfully mastered the role of “stick fish”. And so they know how to join the collectives and do nothing there. Or they seem to be doing nothing special, but they are not. Because they are very good at creating a mood. And sometimes the created mood leads your team to victory. And then together they will receive the laurels of the winner. And not everyone will understand whether deserved or not, but it is not so important when the team won. And almost always there are those who are ready to do everything for them, for beautiful eyes. Some seniors.

The youngest child often in difficult situations can fall into a stupor and expect that now someone will do everything for him. He will, he will, he will. He is very angry with his family if this does not happen. But it is such crises that he experienced alone that can temper his character and force him to grow up.

Since he does not understand himself very well, it is difficult for him to set goals and achieve. There is no external pressure on him, and this pressure usually begins the movement of other people. No pressure, no movement. Creating internal incentives is not an easy task. And not all the younger ones can successfully master it.

This also means that they cannot work alone. When there is no one to blame defeat on, when there is no one to support and protect, when the responsibility is all yours. It is very difficult for them to stand alone against the whole world. While the only ones stand all their lives and do not understand that it is possible otherwise.

Parents can give the younger in sections and circles where individual skills are important, where the child can better understand himself, find himself, create motivation. Oriental martial arts are very good. Any creative circles in which the teacher not only teaches technique, but tries to reveal the inner world of the child.

Not expecting anything from a child is great. And yet, for the younger ones, you need to create some magical pendel. At least for a start. Learn to move in life, not just go with the flow. For girls, this scenario is more favorable than for boys. But even girls benefit from understanding themselves and their desires, changing and growing.

Give him as much responsibility as possible. Especially for myself. For his toys, for his things, for his relationships with his elders. When there are older children at home, it is tempting to ask them for help. They'll do better, faster, they already know how. But fight that temptation. Bring in the little ones. Get more involved. From the diapers. They know the world through their actions and themselves.

And you do. Love everyone. Only, senior, middle, junior. If you are in contact with them and keep track of what is happening to them, you can always make adjustments. Don’t forget to apologize if you did something wrong. Teach them that love is both forgiveness and the ability to ask for it, regardless of position and status.

Author: Olga Valyaeva

Chapter from the book "Destination to be a mother"

P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!

Source: www.valyaeva.ru/mladshij-rebenok-tot-kotoromu-nikak-ne-vyrasti/