Bashny.Net
Four stages in the relationship of mother and daughter
Bashny.Net
For a long time my mom was out. I mean, she was always physically. But inside, I was not feeling the roots, there was a feeling that she is older and bigger. It was not respect, love. We could swear, to put up, nice to chat, drink tea in the evenings liters. She was my family. But mom... Mom I felt it not so long ago. When I finally stopped her to wait for something, anything to prove and try to alter it. When I grew up and stopped screwing around.
Here's the truth. Have a mom as a person. That's from another century. It is difficult to master the technique — and I do not understand what is so tough. And there's me who reads all sorts of books — and sees the problems of all in this book. In addition to his, of course. Especially my mother's. And you can learn to live — that's why you're single. Here you are wrong, then you did not. Like I'm older and more experienced.
And there's resentment. Resentment of a little girl who didn't fall for mom's attention. But not in 15 years, when the attention became too much. I need it was then. Remember this joke: "If you have 5 years no bike, and 25 you bought yourself a Mercedes, you have never had a bike in 5 years." And here. Me today as I am in teenage and older mother's attention was too much. And wanted me five. Me baby. Then. And that "then" is already unattainable.
And here I am smart and with bag offense. And mom. A mom who did everything for me that could. A mom who loved as she could and as she could. At times more than I loved her. Mom who bent over backwards to keep us alive. Mother, which is not much and need from me. Adoption. Respect. Thanks.
Only the bag with the offense not giving respect. Don't let you love. The memory of the child's pain makes you build walls to stop to chat heart to heart. And continue to philosophize and to teach life. So it is possible to live my life. And never see my Mom this bag. Never see her in person. Followed her destiny.
And it's actually a hindrance. There is no harmony and acceptance with my mother — no femininity, no conscious and joyful motherhood. They say that gratitude and respect come when you become a mother herself. Lie. In some ways you can begin to understand better. But added, "I'm the other mother, better." and resentments grow like weeds. I can — why couldn't she?
And live. Prove moms something expressed. And I think that live. Recently saw a story about how an ambulance came to the woman who lived with her daughter. Mother 95, daughter of 75 — call each other "the old hag". And many of these cases. Not always spoken out loud. But how many women was living physically close to his mother, but deep down, in a complete break with her.
Often, even the daughter married, the soul remains with the mother. And continues with her butt, rush and so on. Sometimes even children, for mothers in labor. Because my mother wants grandchildren. And sometimes the link is broken — they don't see each other at all. And both suffer in separation. Sometimes the daughter is trying to break the painful contact, but guilt does not....
Though actually it's simple. In relations with my mother have 4 stages. You need to live, to survive. Step-by-step. No one is impossible to miss or erase. Otherwise respect did not appear.
1. Symbiosis.
From the beginning, you and mom are one. You have a common body, you are its continuation. After the birth of the child considers the mother to be its part. Therefore, the separation is so terrible, he screams when mom leaves the room.
Someone hangs out at this stage. And spent his whole life trying to please mother, to make her happy, not to argue. Because happy mom, happy me. But this relationship is harmful — especially for daughters. Years 7-8 it is right and good to live — to be with my mom as a single whole, absorb her love and care. And then we need to go further.
2. Disputes.
At some point the child begins to realize that me and my mom — they are different people. So, we may have different views, different desires may not match opinions on various issues. And daughter mom starts to argue, to prove his innocence.
The point of this stage is to break away. Find yourself. To find the strength to go their own way. But can it to hang. And all my life to argue. Whole life to prove.... I'm not you, I'm better than you, I know better....
3. Independence.
The next stage, when the daughter, not only in words, but actually begins its life. Go, go far. Can stop to chat at all. In their lives, the mother ceases to be an important person.
I'm on my own. I grew up in. I'm a big. You're not the boss of me. In this stage, too, can hang out — and much to lose. Generic resources, communication with women's native...
4. Gratitude and respect.
And only when we separated and started to live his life, we can move on to the final stage of gratitude to the mother. When mom becomes a close person. When it is possible to speak heart to heart and really want. This is just getting better. There is a strong resource...
Each cycle ideally fit in 7 years. From zero to seven, from seven to fourteen, from fourteen to twenty-one and twenty-one till the end. That is, at 21, already has the resources in order to move on to the fourth stage. If you have already passed all three previous. If never stuck. But I've been stuck on the second stage. Then came third — but I'm with her all the time pushed in the second. Argued argued that....
And only the last few years I have a mom. For real. Vedic knowledge, placement, communication with Teachers.... Thanks to this, I got older. Left Kul childish. I saw in the mother the person. Learned to respect it. And realized how much her grateful mom so much done for me...
Yes, sometimes I'm back into the same game. For a little while. And then I remember about gratitude, make a mental bow... And all again falls into place. As it should be.
And I wish all the girls and women to find their mother. In his own heart. .published
Author: Olga Valyaeva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©
Source: www.valyaeva.ru/chetyre-stadii-v-otnosheniyax-materi-i-docheri/
Here's the truth. Have a mom as a person. That's from another century. It is difficult to master the technique — and I do not understand what is so tough. And there's me who reads all sorts of books — and sees the problems of all in this book. In addition to his, of course. Especially my mother's. And you can learn to live — that's why you're single. Here you are wrong, then you did not. Like I'm older and more experienced.
And there's resentment. Resentment of a little girl who didn't fall for mom's attention. But not in 15 years, when the attention became too much. I need it was then. Remember this joke: "If you have 5 years no bike, and 25 you bought yourself a Mercedes, you have never had a bike in 5 years." And here. Me today as I am in teenage and older mother's attention was too much. And wanted me five. Me baby. Then. And that "then" is already unattainable.
And here I am smart and with bag offense. And mom. A mom who did everything for me that could. A mom who loved as she could and as she could. At times more than I loved her. Mom who bent over backwards to keep us alive. Mother, which is not much and need from me. Adoption. Respect. Thanks.
Only the bag with the offense not giving respect. Don't let you love. The memory of the child's pain makes you build walls to stop to chat heart to heart. And continue to philosophize and to teach life. So it is possible to live my life. And never see my Mom this bag. Never see her in person. Followed her destiny.
And it's actually a hindrance. There is no harmony and acceptance with my mother — no femininity, no conscious and joyful motherhood. They say that gratitude and respect come when you become a mother herself. Lie. In some ways you can begin to understand better. But added, "I'm the other mother, better." and resentments grow like weeds. I can — why couldn't she?
And live. Prove moms something expressed. And I think that live. Recently saw a story about how an ambulance came to the woman who lived with her daughter. Mother 95, daughter of 75 — call each other "the old hag". And many of these cases. Not always spoken out loud. But how many women was living physically close to his mother, but deep down, in a complete break with her.
Often, even the daughter married, the soul remains with the mother. And continues with her butt, rush and so on. Sometimes even children, for mothers in labor. Because my mother wants grandchildren. And sometimes the link is broken — they don't see each other at all. And both suffer in separation. Sometimes the daughter is trying to break the painful contact, but guilt does not....
Though actually it's simple. In relations with my mother have 4 stages. You need to live, to survive. Step-by-step. No one is impossible to miss or erase. Otherwise respect did not appear.
1. Symbiosis.
From the beginning, you and mom are one. You have a common body, you are its continuation. After the birth of the child considers the mother to be its part. Therefore, the separation is so terrible, he screams when mom leaves the room.
Someone hangs out at this stage. And spent his whole life trying to please mother, to make her happy, not to argue. Because happy mom, happy me. But this relationship is harmful — especially for daughters. Years 7-8 it is right and good to live — to be with my mom as a single whole, absorb her love and care. And then we need to go further.
2. Disputes.
At some point the child begins to realize that me and my mom — they are different people. So, we may have different views, different desires may not match opinions on various issues. And daughter mom starts to argue, to prove his innocence.
The point of this stage is to break away. Find yourself. To find the strength to go their own way. But can it to hang. And all my life to argue. Whole life to prove.... I'm not you, I'm better than you, I know better....
3. Independence.
The next stage, when the daughter, not only in words, but actually begins its life. Go, go far. Can stop to chat at all. In their lives, the mother ceases to be an important person.
I'm on my own. I grew up in. I'm a big. You're not the boss of me. In this stage, too, can hang out — and much to lose. Generic resources, communication with women's native...
4. Gratitude and respect.
And only when we separated and started to live his life, we can move on to the final stage of gratitude to the mother. When mom becomes a close person. When it is possible to speak heart to heart and really want. This is just getting better. There is a strong resource...
Each cycle ideally fit in 7 years. From zero to seven, from seven to fourteen, from fourteen to twenty-one and twenty-one till the end. That is, at 21, already has the resources in order to move on to the fourth stage. If you have already passed all three previous. If never stuck. But I've been stuck on the second stage. Then came third — but I'm with her all the time pushed in the second. Argued argued that....
And only the last few years I have a mom. For real. Vedic knowledge, placement, communication with Teachers.... Thanks to this, I got older. Left Kul childish. I saw in the mother the person. Learned to respect it. And realized how much her grateful mom so much done for me...
Yes, sometimes I'm back into the same game. For a little while. And then I remember about gratitude, make a mental bow... And all again falls into place. As it should be.
And I wish all the girls and women to find their mother. In his own heart. .published
Author: Olga Valyaeva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©
Source: www.valyaeva.ru/chetyre-stadii-v-otnosheniyax-materi-i-docheri/
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When shame tastes like a mother's care
