The differences in the education of the "wild" tribes and the "civilized" society from birth. Part 2
Meanwhile each our impression irrespective of other impressions is necessary for development of any aspect of the individual. Without the necessary experiences man can not develop properly; when the required experience has been gained, it becomes possible to further development. But opportunities for obtaining new experiences should be diverse.
Russian teacher researcher Mikhail Petrovich Schetinin wrote: "Forcing kids into the familiar "for all", away from the fight, we thereby deprive them of the feeling of their importance on earth... the Child is eager for a serious dialogue with life, having the right and opportunity".
It is necessary that objects, situations and people round the child was more than he could use at the moment, so he could open and expand their abilities, but not too much that it could, if desired, to focus on one thing. Thus, it is not advisable to change the atmosphere in the room where he spends most of the time. This writes and Masaru Ibuka "Children perceive objects not in isolation, but in relationship with each other. This in turn contributes to their development, therefore, we, adults, should avoid drastic changes that could disrupt the child's view about stability and order in the world."
With constant awareness and application of this by the parents, the child does not require full attention, because it does not burden the load unfulfilled unconscious desires, and the state of things in the present are completely satisfied. In nature, everything is arranged efficiently, and the child does not require more than he needed really.
The child on particles collects the necessary development experience. It does not matter even if it was not full and events occur in the wrong sequence. By the end of such accumulation the child should receive a necessary minimum of experience of each look which is used as the Foundation for a new stage of perceptual experience. If the required minimum is not reached, the events of a new stage, occur they though one thousand times, will not be perceived by the child and contribute to the formation of his personality.
The child is not kept on hand, not only saves experience, but also their behavior tries to replace the lost experience and to alleviate the suffering. It furiously kicks with feet, trying to hammer painful desire of touches of a warm flesh, it waves hands, twirls by the head from side to side to disconnect their sense organs, strains a body, curving an arch a back. And this is a clear indication that parents need to change their behaviour and care for the baby.
If the need for constant contact with the mother was by this time fully satisfied, you need to be on hand quickly disappears, and the child begins to live at the expense of the energy stored during the "manual transition", which requires feeding only in extreme situations. Then he will address again to mother for support. These emergency situations occur rarely, and independence of the child is strengthened comprehensively and quickly.
Uneven development of the child (in the same direction he is moving forward in the other — behind and look forward to missing experience) leads to the split of his desires: in all their actions he wants to be the center of attention; he can not fully concentrate on the task at hand, while part of his soul still craves a carefree existence in his mother's arms, would solve all the problems.
So, the chain of events that meet the laid down in its expectations and tendencies, and what is happening in the environment in which those expectations and tendencies were formed earlier his ancestors. These conditions are "right", that is, satisfying true human needs, the relation to other people.
On hands at mother the child feels that everything is as it should be. About himself, he knows nothing but the feeling of its correctness, attractiveness and desire. Without this conviction a person of any age is flawed: he does not believe in the forces, feels deprived, it lacks spontaneity and grace.
Immediately after birth the baby is extraordinary susceptible. He is not able to think rationally, consciously to remember, reflect or argue.
All children correct, but they can know it only through reflection, through the way they are treated.
If the mother when changing diapers or diapers turns away, her face reflected the revulsion she tries to do everything quickly and on her face there is no smile, the child very clearly catches it and lays in memory. The more the child realizes such relation of mother, the more mixed with confusion, the harbinger of fear and guilt.
The fear to disappoint your mother grows together with consciousness. He could start to make various actions to change the situation: to suffice mother for hair, to overturn a plate of food, or slobbering her clothes, poking a finger in her mouth, pulling the necklace away from his beanbag, trying to get out of the stroller or unintentionally to bring down a foot a Cup with tea.
The child is difficult to associate its actions with its reaction. He does not notice that the Cup with tea fell, he cannot understand what is wrong in grasping at the necklace and why after that mother so is angry; he is completely unaware that he was drooling all over a thing; he only vaguely understands that, having dumped a plate with porridge on purpose to bring interest to the person, it really attracts attention, but only pity is not something that he would want.
And yet the kid feels, what even such attention is better than anything therefore continues to dump on the floor the dishes with your food. He wants the feeling of "rightness" that is hidden somewhere here in mother, in food, in him. But no matter how he tried to show his needs, that feeling never comes. On the contrary, rough reaction of the child causes the mother's rejection that he will be able to explain — unlike the infinite wrong relation in the first months of life, which he generally could not understand. Indifference, a carelessness and melancholy became for it key parameters of this life. He didn't know anything beyond that. It turns out that his whole being crying, begging and waiting. All the others remain indifferent, inactive or inattentive. At least it goes with him through life, he may not notice these moments, for the simple reason that he is unable to imagine other relations with others.
The sense of correctness is only the feeling of a man in relation to himself, on the basis of which the individual can build their own prosperous existence.
Without a sense of the correctness of people cannot define, how much he needs comfort, security, assistance, communication, love, friendship, pleasure, joy. The person without this feeling usually considers that "happiness is there where we are not present".
To them correctly addressed, kids are forced to be extremely attractive. Because they're small, weak, sluggish, defenseless, inexperienced, dependent on seniors, but appeal compensates all these shortcomings.
Doesn't matter who plays the role of the father or mother — male or female, for baby there is only one relationship — the relationship with her mother, and everybody has the ability to accurately recognize the dumb language of the newborn and to act in accordance with it. Each of us — be it man, woman, boy or girl — has a thorough knowledge of child care, despite the fact that recently, that is no more than a few thousand years ago, we went on about the fantasies of intelligence in this extremely important matter. We are so far removed from their own innate abilities that now have almost forgotten about their existence.
As the expectations of the child are satisfied and it becomes psychologically developed and ready to receiving new experience, it gives a signal meaning change of expectations according to its internal impulses. The task of parents to understand and behave in accordance with new expectations of the child.
Initially, the baby understands only what relates to the way of life which, as appears from circumstances, becomes then his own.
As well as the radio receiver according to the will of the person wanting to listen to a specific radio program is configured to accept waves of a certain length though the receiver can work on other waves, the psychobiological perception initially has huge potential, but soon narrows to necessary for life range.
The hearing also operates selectively it is limited by the fact that in our culture it is considered necessary to hear. The rest is discarded. By themselves, the ears can hear much more sounds than those we usually perceive.
The range of hearing of the Indians is suitable for their needs. Our suits us better for rescues from sounds which for us would be only senseless noise. In our culture it would be unpleasant, for example, to Wake in the night due to the fact that near the house drove a car.
Not to give his brain awash in a sea of sensations, the nervous system plays the role of a filter. The susceptibility to sounds can be strengthened or weakened without any volitional effort in accordance with the settings of the nervous system. Even though the hearing never ceases to work, some heard sounds never reach the consciousness and remain in subconsciousness from infancy to death.
What is accepted to call supernatural or magic abilities, often just the ability to exclude nervous system (at the request of the conditions of life) of our used feature set. They can develop practice directed on shutdown of normal process of elimination. Sometimes they can occur in extreme circumstances.
Supernatural forces are liberated only in special cases. There are many cases of the appearance of temporary or permanent psychic abilities of people after some accidents.
A curious exception to this rule are people whose screening mechanisms have been in some way temporarily or permanently damaged. These people under favorable circumstances become clairvoyants.
Usually the normal limits of human perception are violated in conditions of extreme emotional stress. When victims of accidents suddenly see inevitability of his death, they desperately cry out to his mother or to the one who takes the place of mother in their feelings. This call often reaches mother or the person personifying mother, through any distances. Example: recently published on the website www.mera.com.ru case of war, when the soldiers before the shooting called out to his wife, and she felt that call.
The presentiment arises differently: an unknown event, a threatening terrible consequences, can break through in consciousness of absolutely quiet person, in a dream or reality. To the majority of presentiments do not pay attention due to restrictions to believe in "such nonsense" and not even realize it.
As for other abilities, the Indians of South America, for example, may notice the silhouette of a bird among the shadows facing the wall of the jungle, while we see only the leaves, even if we were to name the place. They see fish among foam of mountain streams, and we, again, even with all their desire did not notice. And by wolfs children have phenomenal night vision. People are able to adapt to any environment, even the wrong he is by nature, if that force of circumstances.
And it exceeds the ability of any animal to adopt habits of the person. But most kids who grew up among animals and then got to the man, were doomed to death or suffering. They have been unable to impose human culture to its already established and advanced culture of the animal.
This suggests that learned culture becomes an integral part of the nature of human beings. Evolution has set the expectation of participation in culture. The morals learned from the culture by this time, integrated, become so much a part of personality as innate habits of other animals.
If we consider the low level of intellectual development of Kamala, born human, raised by a wolf, it becomes clear that it was optimum use of mental capacities in similar circumstances. Other its abilities were phenomenal: it unusually dexterously moved on four extremities, had the sharpest sense of smell (I smelled the meat for seventy meters), perfectly saw in the dark, quickly ran and easily transferred sharp differences of temperatures. Time it survived among wolves, it, most likely, perfectly hunted and perfectly was guided in the jungle. It turns out that the mainstream of the development of animals it did not disappoint. It successfully developed the abilities necessary for its way of life.
Likewise, an adult whose behavior is already programmed for life among people, cannot successfully adapt to life as other animal.
Very widespread belief that, paying to the child too much attention, we disturb development of independence and that, constantly dragging it on hands, we weaken his future confidence. But independence itself arises from the full experience of "manual of the period" when the child stays with the parent, do not pay him excessive attention. He simply observes the world and the life of its parent, being in full security on hand. In families, "lullaby of civilizations", like South American Indians, when the baby leaves the mother's hands and begins to crawl around on all fours and go, no one even tries to intervene and "protect from danger". Here the role of the mother is to be ready to cuddle and comfort the child when he comes to her or calling her.
However, it should be noted that in nature there are so many "techno"-hazards that have created people. That is, should not take lightly the fact, where and how is the baby, "imitating" the Indians.
Jean Liedloff gave interesting examples from his experience among the Indians. It is often used as the doctor, and ran to her once very young boy with such a cut on the thumb that she has cold skin, but at the same time the baby smiled, he said that his mom sent to her for help. But she did not go with him. At other times she provided medical care for a grown man, who was holding his wife's hand. That is, they have not considered shameful to seek the support of the woman, whether wife or mother. But if the mother feels that the child itself is ready to cope with its difficulty, it does not impose his presence, and not expressing too much excitement.
Providing children with early childhood freedom of choice and trust in his or her Way, parents encourage thereby the development of potential abilities and mental including.
But warped in early childhood, the personality can reduce natural potential of mental capacities. All healthy children are initially talented, so the responsibility for the division of children into smart and stupid, and aggressive goals lies in education, and in early (breast) age. M. P. Schetinin also repeatedly wrote about the fact that there are no untalented children are inattentive and not responsive teacher. This can be said about parents.
Every day the kid is inclined to learn more the culture of his people. He starts to distinguish a role of mother and father in their lives. Mother and remains to those who provides the child with all necessary and gives, expecting nothing in return, except satisfaction from the "recoil". The mother is caring for him just because he is; his existence is enough to guarantee her love. Her unconditional acceptance of the child remains constant. The father is a person interested in the socialization of the child and in his progress to independence. The father as well as mother certainly loves her child, but its approval depends on the behavior of the baby. Thus, nature provides balance and encourages social behavior. Later, the father will more and more clearly becomes a representative of society and showing by example what is expected from the child, and shall bring him to the choice of the behavior corresponding to certain traditions, some of which will be the child.
Imitating men, boys learn about their place in the culture and the structure of their society. A little grown up, girls will be to follow the lead of women and actively participate in their classes. Children enter into culture everyone in own way and at their own pace. Therefore it is impossible to brake or accelerate the desire of the child to participate in the Affairs of others.
Doing things have as final purpose the development of independence. To help the child more or less than he needs, so to prevent the achievement of that goal.
Every child by nature is committed to a harmonious life in the team, and not to conflict. Everything he does should be accepted as action in essence the "right" creature. This axiom of correctness and a sociality as innate human traits is the basis of the relationship of many tribes "lullaby of civilizations" to people of any age. The same principle underlies the relation to the growing child of parents and all his entourage.
The original meaning of the word "education" is "to sculpt some kind of way," and although it maybe slightly better, than more widespread idea of education as "cramming" and "vdalblivanie", but none of these approaches does not correspond to congenital expectations of the child. Vilaplana child by some way, the adult is only a hindrance in his development for the natural and most effective way is replaced less natural and effective. The axiom of a congenital sociality is absolutely opposite ruling in a civilized society the belief that the child can become sociable (social), only if to constrain his rushes. Some believe that understanding and "cooperation" with the child allow you to better to cope with it, than threats, insults or rods, but both of these views, and also all intermediate approaches, is the idea of the child as about an antisocial being, which is necessary to manipulate in order to make it acceptable. If society, following his Direction, something fundamentally different from our society is the unconditional acceptance of the child as correct being.
Namely starting from this axiom and that it should be possible to understand something that initially seems inexplicable: why are the Indians with their strange behaviour so prosperous, and we, with our sophisticated calculations, so unhappy.
Thus, the excess or the lack of assistance prevents the development of the child. The child can develop only in so far as he is inclined. The child's curiosity and the desire to determine what and how much he can learn without any prejudice to their holistic development. The management from adults can promote development of one abilities at the expense of others, but all range of abilities cannot be developed over congenital borders. If the parents, as they seem to lead your child in the best for him (or for yourself) the direction of development, he pays for it with his integrity. Directly affected its wellbeing depending on complete and harmonious development of all abilities.
It should be noted that the child at an early age can not recognize an inadequate mother who can't raise her child in the right Direction. For each child of his parents and mother especially is still the best in the world.
Later with intelligence development the child starts to understand that his interests and the interests of the mother absolutely disagree. He has to fight with his mother to save himself. And yet at heart it cherishes thought that mother loves it certainly, without everyones but, simply so, for what it is though aloud it can suggest otherwise. All proofs of hostility of mother, any logic justifications, its rejection and protests against her actions cannot release the child from internal belief that mother after all loves it, is obliged to love, no matter what. Hatred of the mother (or her way) just shows defeat in war with this belief. This condition is characteristic of many adolescents.
The sense of independence of man and his emotional maturation originate in the multifaceted experience of "manual of the period." The child can become independent of the mother only after the stage of absolute dependent on. From her at this stage requires a correct behavior, granting to the child of experience manual "period" (i.e., carrying) and ensuring transition to other stages.
But to get rid of the trauma of a mother who did not follow the river bed (the principle of continuity of the integrity of the development process). The need for its attention and remains with a person for life.
Responsibility, and the degree of an adult in all aspects, as a consequence of early education.
The child seeks to do as he thought was expected of him.
If the mother gives him to understand that he is expected to give up her concern about his safety, that, obeying the social instincts, he'll do her one better. If the child constantly watch and direct his movement there where it seems to mother correct and when it takes the initiative, behind it run and stop, he very quickly learns not to represent himself, as required of him mother.
Mikhail Shchetinin said: "...to educate responsible, there is only one way: to lay it on the baby."
One of the hallmarks of the human species — the ability of intelligence to contradict congenital bents. Once a person leaves the Path falls out of bed and completely incapacitate its balancing mechanisms, there is a lot of all kinds of perversions for the probability that an uninformed, well-intentioned, consecutive intelligence will screw up, because he is not able to take into account countless factors that determine the selection of proper behavior.
As has been said, the child's behavior to a very large extent determined by what is expected of him. The adult Trustee will power forces the child to obey and thereby undermines the work of the mechanism of self-preservation. The kid ceases to feel confidently in world around and is compelled to follow unconsciously to the absurd instruction to harm herself. This can be seen by the fact that many children run away from parents who are constantly being told not to run away from adults. Or, sometimes, children scald themselves with boiling water, because I often hear warnings about burns. Possible and many other situations. Jean Liedloff also cites the tragic example of a kid who drowned in the pool on site parents. Mother was so worried that the baby can crawl to the edge of the pool and diving in there to drown, which is disposed to enclose a small swimming pool fence. But one day, a gate inadvertently left open and the child did what was expected of him mother. In contrast to this behaviour and broadcast negative thoughts, the people of traditional cultures or "lullaby of civilizations," leave the child, even where there are a cliff, pit, or river, relying on the instinct of self-preservation, which in children is very well developed.
The unconscious does of experience a habit, and habits are automatic actions not to distract attention of reason to often repeating actions and to maintenance of balance of mentality, for integration and assimilation of received information is too difficult process for such unreliable mechanism, as mind. In addition, the unconscious is so observant that notices not that say, but first of all that mean, showing tone of a voice or behavior. For all these reasons, the logic of the unconscious can be directly opposite to reason. Thus, a child can clearly understand the reasoning of an adult and even to agree with them, but on an unconscious level to install on the behavior opposite to admonitions of the adult. In other words, he'd rather do what he feels is expected of him than what he's told to do. The child so painfully does not have the favor of mother that he even is willing to harm herself, if only to justify her expectations.
If a child is deprived of appropriate experience or if from it expect hooligan behavior, he can do so far away from his innate sense correct that will cease to be sensitive to the expectations of others, and their own needs continuum.
The most usual praise and condemnation absolutely confuse children, especially at an early age. If the child made something useful, for example, he got dressed, fed the dog, collected a bouquet of wild flowers or a bird fashioned from a piece of clay, nothing can offend him more than expression of surprise by his social behavior. Exclamations like: "Oh, what you're clever!", "Look that Petenka made, and even himself!" — mean that the sociality in the child is unexpected, unusual and unusual. His mind can be flattered, but at the level of feelings the child will be disappointed not to be able to do that from it expect and that really makes it part of the culture of the family. Even among children themselves, a phrase such as: "Oh! Look what Mary did in school." said with genuine surprise, rather upset Mary. She'll feel isolated from their peers, if not praised, and said, "Well, what is Mary fat!" (or stupid, but not such what expected to see).
Part 3 — bashny.net/admin/2018/01/20/razlichiya-v-vospitanii-dikih-plemen-i-civilizovannogo-obschestva-s-samogo-rozhdeniya-chast-3.html