Love and money: how not to spoil relations

One of the most difficult topics for discussion between spouses as the family budget and savings. Once the family starts the distribution of Finance, calculation of expenses and planning costs, as soon as the house situation is heating up and not everyone is able to be able to repay and emotions to end the discussion peacefully.






Similar situations occur not only in those families where the budget is very limited, but in those where the couple can afford regular holidays in foreign resorts, buying expensive branded items, and generally comfortable existence.

The fact that the issue of money causes even in affluent families, a storm of emotions, psychologists are not surprised. After all, talking about money reveals such internal problems of the spouses as trust, needs and opportunities. Everyone thinks: if he could afford something he wants, or he is obliged to report for each rouble spent. Then there are concerns: how will the partner react to the purchase and not too much the spouse spends. Touchy subject of money in the family requires tact and civility in the discussion for another reason. By virtue of education, attitudes and emotional wife the same deeds and actions are perceived completely different. For one it is only natural to put the earned money in family "pods" and then align your spending with the second half, and for another, such a household budget looks complete infringement of personal freedom. For one of the spouses an expensive gift is a sign of attention and sensitivity, and for another – another reminder of his complete dependence and bankruptcy.



However, a different approach to financial issue and different views on the role of money in family life – not a reason not to talk about them. On the contrary, the more acute raises the money issue, the more strongly the need to seek compromise solutions to discuss with her husband a joint and personal expenses in order to maintain harmony and harmony in the family. To begin the discussion of financial issues, we must solve a simple problem: how to family budget.

Options for conducting the family budget, there are only three: the common, the separate and the equity:

1. The first way is the classic characteristic of most families. Receive all the income of the spouse put in common "money-box", where money is withdrawn as needed: utilities and kindergarten, purchase of furniture or equipment, purchase of medicines, clothing and food. Spending must be agreed, and each spouse knows how much money to spend on himself, he can report.

A joint budget is ideal for those spouses who earn about the same, do not aspire to financial independence and absolutely trust each other. Because the basis of discussion of any financial issues is a subject of trust. However, the total budget of a family has certain challenges. For example, the reason for intrafamilial conflict can become careless attitude to money, irrational disposal of the budget. Obstruction can cause and the need to make gifts to each other and parents. After all, the couple it will spend not personal and "family" money. In addition, to make a pleasant surprise the second half for no reason when you shared the "purse" will not work.

2. The separate budget for each spouse keeps their earnings in advance stipulating the responsibilities and obligations. For example, one responsible for the rent, the second purchase of products. Separate budget is fully suited for those partners who earn about the same, but used to spend money on-to a miscellaneous: one of the spouses is habitually saves, the other, on the contrary, squandering right and left. If the income of the spouses are different, but they strive to maintain financial independence, the division of responsibility need to carry out the justice. Otherwise, the spouse, receiving a small salary, will find themselves in a difficult financial situation. At the same time, to separate the family budget is to forget, if the second half is temporarily closed. The reason may be not only maternity leave, but long term illness, inability to have a child in nursery or kindergarten, the lack of vacancies. In this situation, a separate budget will be shot in the back and not to someone, but the nearest man.

3. The most flexible and correct the family budget, allows to optimize costs, not causing unnecessary hard feelings and quarrels, is equity. In this embodiment, the spouses contribute part of their earnings to the family Fund, where the money goes on housing, food, purchase of necessary appliances or furniture, paying for education and child nutrition. The second part of the income of the partner is entitled to spend at its discretion. This method is ideal for those spouses who seek a compromise and is able to negotiate. Equity budget does not matter the amount of earnings because each makes money is possible, but there is a need to track expenses. This will avoid misunderstandings, mistrust, quarrels in the family and will not allow the situation that the money ruined the relationship. But warm relations in the family is much more important than financial disputes! published

Author: Lyudmila Yakovleva

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: psy-practice.com/publications/lichnye-otnosheniya/lyubov-i-dengi-kak-ne-isportit-otnosheniya/

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