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I'm busy all the time: very convenient justification for any acts
"I keep busy". The trap, which is used by both girls and boys. Variations of this phrase a lot: "I can't tonight, my dog... and I can't today, cut the cat... and today, too – to send grandma to the moon...", "I don't know if I can tomorrow, call me and I'll tell you... I'm sorry, my hamster is ill with the mumps, why don't you call tomorrow, maybe I'll be free...") (about these phrases, see below).
Very often manipulation, because of its prevalence have lost their disguise is one of the main properties of the trap. A clear sign of lack of interest in the man (self-interest in mind not have). Easily recognized, but to deal with her very difficult, long and exhausting. Or, better to say, it makes no sense.
Very convenient justification for any actions. The girl tells of her remarkable employment. Often she pulls with meetings, for a long time does not ring (even if promised) and did not return calls, requires that the interview was short and ended not too late.
When a man begins to investigate why he once again waited for the promised call or dates, he receives eternal justification as a perturbed response: "I was busy, I didn't have time to text!".
So it can take a very long time. If you call a spade a spade, this situation is called "I Have no time FOR YOU." Used to cover the parallel (and often more important) relationships, because of the reluctance of convergence. However, most often behave girls who kept man "in case of boredom". When they get bored, they agree on a date, saying that "for you barely took your bloody time".
However, it is clear to everyone (even those who deny it) that if a person really wants to meet, he will find time for this in any case, even if the fish are sick with cholera, and the nearest specialist fish cholera lives in Zanzibar. It is an axiom. So as soon as a woman starts to get out of meetings (one the first, time can still be attributed to employment, and then not always), you should immediately declare to her that nesmysl to hear her "excuses" and to wait until she will be able to meet. Or better, let her decide what she wants.
It is no secret that there are times when people urgently need to solve a problem, and time for anything else remains. However, we are not so much kings, presidents, Ministers and Directors General, all of which (including spare) painted by the minute. So when twenty-year-old College student or a young teacher says, "I have this whole week busy, the next call may be, the business will be less", then the normal relationship here and does not smell.
How to distinguish a normal response from manipulative? Response, reflecting the real employment of girls should contain three components: an explanation of the alternative and respect for the man and his time (that is, the reality and certainty). Example: "I'm Sorry, I can't tomorrow – we must prepare for the Colloquium, come day after tomorrow at 18.00 there." The first element (the explanation of reasons for refusal) is not mandatory, but desirable as an indicator of honesty of the girl. The second component (alternative) is a response option of the meeting, proposed by the girl. Mentioned that the option should be the real date is postponed for a day or two. Offer to wait a week should only be the case if the girl is on a business trip in another city. However, don't fall into the trap of "wait some more". And most importantly – perhaps the leitmotif of the book – respect for the individual partner and his time. In a civilized society is one of the main indicators of reliability of a person.
Of course, the postponement of the summit for a long time – a sign of the very real disrespect to the person and attempt to put it in a dependent position. But sometimes girls say absolutely disgusting sentence: "on Friday and Saturday can't call Sunday, I'll tell you if I'm free." Thus, it puts the man in an uncertain position, and in this suspended state it should be in a few days, not being able even to plan the case. I'm not talking about dependence on the will of the girl! Meanwhile, the women await the resurrection in the hope that it will be more interesting than a date with the "burdock" (whom she believes is a man).
We must remember that even the most normal and respectful, but the repeated postponement of the meeting attests to the disinterest in the man.
More examples of parasitic or producing answers: "I can't do it tomorrow" (no explanations, alternatives, often with aggression or withdrawal when trying to figure out anything), "I have the next few days are busy, call me next week", "I'm busy, as I'll freely call myself" (forget about it – no call back). Praise record: once, after a long speech about employment, I offered to meet... more than a month! In response to my refusal (which because of the perfect arrogance of the girl had the irony) followed offended-tirade about the fact that I did not want to understand people and incite conflict on an empty place ("after all, I explained everything!").
Here's what I sent one of my friends. Maybe that sounds harsh, and in some places exaggerated due to perfectionism, but it looks exactly and truthfully: "the Golden rule is: "if you Want to see will find the time." It would be nice to have every day waking up and going to sleep, men were reciting out loud the phrase out loud: loudly, clearly, and articulately. And maybe, just then, to the mind of most men come to one simple as a shovel, a truth: if a girl is interested in you and in your society, if you are mean to her little more than any other creature on this planet, she will certainly find time to meet.
She spit on today's episode of the soap Opera, won't cook a three-course dinner will end with chocolate, damn friends, will forget about today's meeting of the feminist society, not dopit two hours, will come with plain nails, get off at the head and come out on a date straight from work, I'm sorry that in a business suit, not in evening dress, coming despite the headaches, periods, colds, the Blues and seasonal depression. She will do anything to you in any case did not think that ceased to be important to her for a moment. It will not stop nor snow, nor wind, nor rain, nor a pet dog or mom and dad. But if a girl refers to the fact that the aliens stole the keys to the house, and the neighbor's turtle ate the last of the winter boots, you can safely delete that person from your life. You she's indifferent. Don't waste your strength and nerves in vain. Have pride and do not impose".published
Author: Alexander Biryukov, from the book "the man and the woman: war or peace?"
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: andrfem.blogspot.com/2012/06/blog-post_14.html
Very often manipulation, because of its prevalence have lost their disguise is one of the main properties of the trap. A clear sign of lack of interest in the man (self-interest in mind not have). Easily recognized, but to deal with her very difficult, long and exhausting. Or, better to say, it makes no sense.
Very convenient justification for any actions. The girl tells of her remarkable employment. Often she pulls with meetings, for a long time does not ring (even if promised) and did not return calls, requires that the interview was short and ended not too late.
When a man begins to investigate why he once again waited for the promised call or dates, he receives eternal justification as a perturbed response: "I was busy, I didn't have time to text!".
So it can take a very long time. If you call a spade a spade, this situation is called "I Have no time FOR YOU." Used to cover the parallel (and often more important) relationships, because of the reluctance of convergence. However, most often behave girls who kept man "in case of boredom". When they get bored, they agree on a date, saying that "for you barely took your bloody time".
However, it is clear to everyone (even those who deny it) that if a person really wants to meet, he will find time for this in any case, even if the fish are sick with cholera, and the nearest specialist fish cholera lives in Zanzibar. It is an axiom. So as soon as a woman starts to get out of meetings (one the first, time can still be attributed to employment, and then not always), you should immediately declare to her that nesmysl to hear her "excuses" and to wait until she will be able to meet. Or better, let her decide what she wants.
It is no secret that there are times when people urgently need to solve a problem, and time for anything else remains. However, we are not so much kings, presidents, Ministers and Directors General, all of which (including spare) painted by the minute. So when twenty-year-old College student or a young teacher says, "I have this whole week busy, the next call may be, the business will be less", then the normal relationship here and does not smell.
How to distinguish a normal response from manipulative? Response, reflecting the real employment of girls should contain three components: an explanation of the alternative and respect for the man and his time (that is, the reality and certainty). Example: "I'm Sorry, I can't tomorrow – we must prepare for the Colloquium, come day after tomorrow at 18.00 there." The first element (the explanation of reasons for refusal) is not mandatory, but desirable as an indicator of honesty of the girl. The second component (alternative) is a response option of the meeting, proposed by the girl. Mentioned that the option should be the real date is postponed for a day or two. Offer to wait a week should only be the case if the girl is on a business trip in another city. However, don't fall into the trap of "wait some more". And most importantly – perhaps the leitmotif of the book – respect for the individual partner and his time. In a civilized society is one of the main indicators of reliability of a person.
Of course, the postponement of the summit for a long time – a sign of the very real disrespect to the person and attempt to put it in a dependent position. But sometimes girls say absolutely disgusting sentence: "on Friday and Saturday can't call Sunday, I'll tell you if I'm free." Thus, it puts the man in an uncertain position, and in this suspended state it should be in a few days, not being able even to plan the case. I'm not talking about dependence on the will of the girl! Meanwhile, the women await the resurrection in the hope that it will be more interesting than a date with the "burdock" (whom she believes is a man).
We must remember that even the most normal and respectful, but the repeated postponement of the meeting attests to the disinterest in the man.
More examples of parasitic or producing answers: "I can't do it tomorrow" (no explanations, alternatives, often with aggression or withdrawal when trying to figure out anything), "I have the next few days are busy, call me next week", "I'm busy, as I'll freely call myself" (forget about it – no call back). Praise record: once, after a long speech about employment, I offered to meet... more than a month! In response to my refusal (which because of the perfect arrogance of the girl had the irony) followed offended-tirade about the fact that I did not want to understand people and incite conflict on an empty place ("after all, I explained everything!").
Here's what I sent one of my friends. Maybe that sounds harsh, and in some places exaggerated due to perfectionism, but it looks exactly and truthfully: "the Golden rule is: "if you Want to see will find the time." It would be nice to have every day waking up and going to sleep, men were reciting out loud the phrase out loud: loudly, clearly, and articulately. And maybe, just then, to the mind of most men come to one simple as a shovel, a truth: if a girl is interested in you and in your society, if you are mean to her little more than any other creature on this planet, she will certainly find time to meet.
She spit on today's episode of the soap Opera, won't cook a three-course dinner will end with chocolate, damn friends, will forget about today's meeting of the feminist society, not dopit two hours, will come with plain nails, get off at the head and come out on a date straight from work, I'm sorry that in a business suit, not in evening dress, coming despite the headaches, periods, colds, the Blues and seasonal depression. She will do anything to you in any case did not think that ceased to be important to her for a moment. It will not stop nor snow, nor wind, nor rain, nor a pet dog or mom and dad. But if a girl refers to the fact that the aliens stole the keys to the house, and the neighbor's turtle ate the last of the winter boots, you can safely delete that person from your life. You she's indifferent. Don't waste your strength and nerves in vain. Have pride and do not impose".published
Author: Alexander Biryukov, from the book "the man and the woman: war or peace?"
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: andrfem.blogspot.com/2012/06/blog-post_14.html
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