The big one can be seen from a distance. . . Bashny.Net

Every day to look like the first time, but to see deeper, to explore, to discover new things and wonder how it was not noticed before? Is it possible to see anything else in a well-known person?

The beginning of a relationship... I want to go to a deserted island, so as not to share my beloved with anyone. I want to be just two, find new points of contact, dissolve in each other. There comes an understanding of the meaning of the expression “the second half” – that is, only together there will be a single whole, an ideal, absolutely happy being.

An ideal world in which love, tenderness, understanding reign. But there is no relationship. After all, a relationship is possible with another person, and in the merger of halves it is not, or rather, you do not want to see him. Then you will have to admit the presence of a different character, points of view: No, no, my other half is my second self, only more perfect, ideal, such as dreamed. And away from all the thoughts and doubts that destroy a beautiful fairy tale!





Most strikingly, such relationships are long and strong. People can only see what they want all their lives. It’s like living near a train station, not noticing the noise of trains. It is real, but unnecessary in the dream. And people live with each other all their lives, their strong family is envious of others, but in fact they do not know each other. After all, in order to begin to recognize a person, it is worth stepping back at least a step - and the further, the more clearly individuality will be visible, the golden fog of illusion will dissipate. This stage occurs in relationships in different ways – in a month or a year, or ten years, and then begins the most interesting – communication with the person! Sometimes there is disappointment and it hurts. Not surprisingly, many people try to live in illusions for as long as possible.

It would seem, well, what is wrong to see only positive aspects in a partner, not to quarrel, enjoy every moment spent together and want to be close? But such a relationship involves the rapid development of dependence on the other half, making it responsible for its safety in this world. This is most similar to the relationship between parents and children – concern for the material, moral well-being of others, and in return – blind adoration.

However, even parents care for children is expressed in the end in training, preparation for independent life. And sooner or later, even the most caring parents can no longer be “perfect”, but for an adult, living person, acting as a buffer between a partner and the outside world.

There comes a time of choice - to stay in a pink childhood or start to grow up and go through life independently, next to your loved one, rather than ride it on horseback. Being an adult means being a person, sensibly assessing oneself, having independence not only material, but also moral, intellectual, making decisions. To remain a child means to stop developing, in every life situation to repeatedly apply worked-out schemes, changing only the participants.

In relationships with loved ones, this is called “serial monogamy”: a person does not cheat on partners, but changes them, habitually moves from one relationship to the next, from one marriage to another. Bottom line: Trying to have a dream at all costs kills life.

The desire to preserve primary love, the state of merging of two halves forces all the time to “tread on the threshold” of relations, not giving the opportunity to develop them.

Dispelling the magic fog of illusions means finding a new ideal, but it will happen again. But it is only necessary to “cross the threshold” – to begin to really recognize a person, and relationships will play with the facets of diversity, filled with meaning, the concepts of “love”, “tenderness”, “trust” will cease to be just beautiful words. There will be more sincerity, intimacy, warmth... One has only to learn to be aware of relationships, understand the chaos of feelings and begin to enjoy the variety of emotions and sensations.

Each person is a universe, always unique and unique, filled with their dreams and fears, successes and failures, aspirations and sorrows, ready to open up to the new, but afraid of pain.

Relationships are the fusion of physical bodies, energy shells, intellectual habits, social stereotypes. At the same time, to perceive a partner at all available levels and to notice the “failures” or “ups” of joint life, when it seems that love fades away, and then flares up with renewed vigor – this is what will give fullness and brightness to joint existence, fill it with meaning. published

Author: Maria Kudryavtseva



P.S. And remember, just by changing our consciousness, we change the world together! © Join us on Facebook , VKontakte, Odnoklassniki



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