Who married men?

Dima, Moscow businessman of an average hand, age middle-aged – forty-six years, looks unremarkable (a kind of classic nice Jewish boy), a womanizer and, sorry for such details, you Perv, is now in the active phase of the divorce. Whether the seventh, or eighth in my memory. And you know we... ten years, no more.





Over the years I don't remember a marriage that lasted more than three or four months. He, however, said that his first wife lived neither more nor less, and four years... but that's only the first wife Dima presented the parents with a threat: try, little child, don't get married...

Good boy Dima to disobey authoritarian ancestors did not dare (given the nature of the mother, it is not surprising, it is easier to go with bare hands against the tank), the father of married girl, and then finally stood up and got divorced.

Since then his life – a never-ending Groundhog Day. Marriage divorce, marriage divorce, marriage divorce... And the problem is not that women are fleeing from him, no. Escape from Dima's simply impossible. This little atulence, with dark podgainij black surround with attention and care, manages to create an aura of love and soaring millimetr" of worship, and to escape from this sticky cocoon is almost impossible.

I have tested this on my own skin. Suffering from a misunderstanding and toxicity, sloshing in up red nose and sobbing continuously, I told him what a skunk my Dear and Beloved was caught... after a few hours landed rapid forced marches to our editorial Dima carefully promanual cloth my puffy eyes and, much to the dismay of the editor-in-chief, wailing tried to feed superdelegates yoghurt screaming: "Stop crying, you're bad!"

You understand that such men will refuse only an absolute fool. Even if you take into account his terrible thoroughness and love of order (although is this really a drawback?).

But it's something that makes with suspicious regularity to run to the registry office? Moreover, the result of these campaigns is quite predictable: either a Bimbo, which then have to attach or poor Princess that it is necessary to find the next Prince charming!

– Why get married if you still then get a divorce? – repeatedly asked Dima I, and the answer always received an uncertain shrug and vague:

"Well... it works!

Just once, he honestly admitted:

– I want a home, family, comfort

 

The fondest of his memories about the first wife, who, despite his youth, was the notorious home and comfort oriented, the worst – on the second. The first was a little kozovata and clumsy, the second looked at the time amazing... But had the vocation of the actress, and her life was full of Bohemian simplicity!

The result? For many years Dima, even partially, but ripened for creation of family, makes the same mistake of choosing the women that the family does not need. Husband needed, but the family is not.

However, I knowingly said: partially matured. Dima needs a wife, not a family. He needs one that will create him comfort. Instead, she will be the cocoon of adoration, the solution to financial difficulties and... everything. Understanding or any other beautiful and subtle forms of intimacy will not. He is responsive, sociable, cheerful... but it's all standard! And the same for all persons of the female sex who were in his circle of interest.

By the way, this not a positive note and you can finish the story, making the quite logical and correct conclusion.

Modern man is not put in strict limits should be married as early as possible in order to provide the family with heirs, make an offer hands and hearts sincerely only when psychologically it will ripen





The problem is that it's psychological maturation proceeds at different ages. There probably are individuals who are twenty ready to take responsibility consciously. And there are those who in the fifty-to party can not, in this broadcast society postulates that women are worthy of the wedding rings, not remained, only the greedy and vile pojiratelei of money... (Here I can not breathe, Oh, would they have the kind of money these notorious in the quantities on which to hunt is not a shame... Oh Well.)

To finish it is possible. But we have left open the second part of the question: to whom marry these ones are finally ready for the family?

I urgently were interviewed four friends who've been married a long time and happily. I was hoping to get responses like "got Married because beautiful Because I love you", but you never know any more.

Oddly enough, all four of them answered the same way:

– I realized that one of us with her get a normal family.

Everyone came to this conclusion in different ways.

– Your boyfriend – described wife husband Vitaly. The vitally – thirty-seven. He plow Papa Carlo, earning and brain, and hands. "Your boyfriend is twenty-nine. She the guy looks similar just like Dolph Lundgren in Spanish ballerina. "Her boyfriend" blonde curls to the priests, krohotulechki growth and squeaky voice. If someone dares to threaten the interests of her acne, she will bite, tear, and swallow the bones do not spit. – It really was "my home – my castle" – boasted happy husband.

– Her house became home for a romantic said Andrew. He is forty-two, and in marriage he had ten years. You know, he's got a lot of opportunities to have a dozen mistresses, in our provinces, these men love and appreciate. And to change one old wife on two younger – time to spit. And that year he returns home to the woman whose appearance is far from the model and age crossed the terrible boundary of the sorokovnik. She's older than him for five years!

– Tankai I can be myself, " admitted Vlad (he's thirty four).

– Good I have it. Cozy. Just knew better not find miss need with Dole boasted Peter V., "oldest" of all respondents. Him – scared to say – fifty-six. And married no less than thirty-four years. Impressive?

 

I noticed one mA-and-scarlet feature? None of them talked about large and bright love, but all the answers just shouted it with her I'm comfortable, good and comfortable

Men, even grown-up, even taken his responsibility for the family as a given, they are still children. Large children. They are looking for the one with which they will be psychologically comfortable. The one that let them close in spirit, thoughts, level. One that itself is enough Mature and responsible attitude to the idea of family, not just cohabitation.



This, incidentally, has long been known. No wonder women's magazines are full of tips on "How to get a man to marry if it is for marriage not ready. The problem is, these tips boil down to only one – to create the appearance of readiness. Its readiness. So he finally understood and immediately ripe.

Determine what it is your choice, and give it to him – advises ladies gloss. Nonsense. They to anything good will not only to their own burnout and frustration.

A snack will tell three stories from the "Define and give".

Maya, it is such a successful artist, moonlighting as a development of prints for baby clothes, got intimately acquainted with one of the customers. A young man, the owner of a children's brand, with trembling tenderness belonged to his nephews.

Their romance lasted more than two years, but proposals of marriage were reported. And then Maya decided on a rather sneaky move. Well, how dare – advised on a famous ladies forum. Stopped the pill a few months announced, voila, darling, you'll be a dad

Honey blushed and turned pale, mumbling: "Well, La-a-a-all right, if you don't want an abortion, then went to the registry office". Maya was happy, confident that things will get better. The divorce, as usual, was not far off. Young spouse to be the spouse did not want, and love to the children – in his case a nephew is not guaranteed, as it turned out, complete and absolute Catalunya. Own baby irritated him...

Or here's a Light, my age. After four years of "relationship" I realized: now or never. Her marriage was to the bulb, roughly speaking. Family life did not appeal from the word "quite". But relatives in a tragic whisper asked "when?" every time she saw Svetku with the cavalier, and the one: rushed a breast on an embrasure.

Moved into a bachelor pad, cleaned it and licked (although throughout his life believed that the dust becomes visible if simply to draw the curtains tight), with the desperate courage of the sailor Cats stood up to the plate, ruining the beauty of the field of struggle for high-calorie dinners...

Fellow man, fell man, that really there. Guys, they're like children. They're cozy, and damn him that he was to marry did not want four years, but for the soup, Yes with donuts, but with garlic...

In General, they divorced six months later, rushing at each other Slippers and tomatoes.

Is sloppy and lazy! – shouted podmazannye on the soup and socks man.

– Lazy and Satrap! – yelled she asks, perturbed by the fact that the betrothed-disguised not changed it from the plate even after prostanovka passports.

Heavier all had Anna, mom of a sweet chubby baby. We met with her, walking the younger generation. Anna almost thirty, and she by marriage remained their interests. Friends, girlfriends, incidentally, is also gone.

She bought a Board to feel the life of the future spouse. Be his shoulder to cry on, a pillow, a psychiatrist and Confessor all in one. Not to burden with their problems and concerns.

Need I add that very soon the place of the love came hate and now Anya lives with the idea: a little more, and get divorced? And Anya's husband, by the way, not so bad with her life. On her proposal to discuss things and to change something, he makes big eyes:

– Sweet, but we are all good!

Still not good, so-so. Marriage to him, in fact, was not necessary. He found an outlet that is always there and why it (the outlet) to lose?

***

I'm a bad journalist. I guess I had to write a list of the exact grounds on which it is possible to identify, marry the man or not. And the actions necessary to ensure that he married into one that wants to marry him.

But, watching friends and friends, she escapes into the Registrar's office more than once, I have to be honest: there are no precise symptoms and no proven way. Those that will lead to marriage, which is not on earth but in heaven. Where you can live life happily and die in one day, just like in a fairy tale.

The tale, she is the fairy tale.

Everything in life is much harder and much easier. Harder, because the only reasonable criterion, sadly, and no primitive sound, is the psychological maturity and compatibility of the partners. Easier – because the Prince in real life is not intended by the script, you can select it.

If the chosen one all the time "not ready," for it is not necessary to break itself, that sacrifice no one will appreciate. Will, but do not appreciate. But the cost will be too high.

Waiting for that "ready" is not worth it. It just seems that a few men. In fact, enough for everyone.

Many are now troubled with authority and let me remind you what will work, what is psychology, because there is love! And I do agree: love, Yes, there is. But love is love, and always want to eat. Sooner or later, it ends the scandal if one or even both parties of the love story came to a standstill at the starting point of "love". Believe me when I say that marriage is not only love, but work, hard, daily, not only home, but also on yourself, it's true. Love does not go far...

So if you just want "to get married to escape, can anyone grab and use the advice from the ladies of the gloss. Infantile, leading to primitive techniques a lot of men. They are easy to take – not by whining or by crook.

And if you want a family... Then harder. Oh, much more difficult.

PS. Now while writing this sheet, decided to find out what made Dear to marry me. Shook (two in the morning, by the way). Asked.

– Funny you have me, ' replied the villain, and added: – I will Not give sleep to get a divorce.





I hope this sentence is talking only about our beautiful one and two for the sense of humor. Not that it's time for me to look for the next victim...posted

Author: KI-BELLA

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

Source: mag.love-sl.ru/column/09-12-2015-kogda-i-na-kom-muzhchiny-reshayut-zhenitsya.html

Tags

See also

New and interesting