316
About the offense: I feel bad, and You may also!
Often faced with the behavior of people who are offended and begin to remain silent, not to communicate. While waiting for that another who allegedly wronged should apologize, start a conversation first. The offended does not confuse the duration of the silence (from several hours to several weeks).
Also know that the one who kind of hurt can not understand the essence of the silence. Familiar with a married couple in which the woman is easily offended and takes and shows resentment both to the offender and the children and her entire entourage.
What lies behind such an offended state? The lack of recognition of love, of its significance. Man thus demonstrates his tacit leadership in this situation, signaling "I'll decide when I to stop to take offense, and yet be dependent on my mood. I feel bad, and You may also be."
Of course, we all tend to show his hurt state in that way. Offended when there is no understanding, when not met expectations, when not constructive dialogue, it is not possible to show aggression or other feeling, not around the offender. Different options for the appearance of resentment.
It is clear that neither You nor those whom You have offended, nor the others not satisfying this condition. And You as well! You only think that it's easier. True condition You are hiding under a mask of resentment. You do not understand the way you expected. Just different people with different understandings and expectations, but somehow many of us believe that it is easier to be offended and then the other will understand what you want, than to explain your expectations.
You do not like the behavior or words of the partner, tell him about it. You hurt, not accepted, not approved, Your actions were the reason for the discussion? There are plenty of reasons for resentment, but what is important, that offense no one is forcing You, and only You yourself give permission for the manifestation of this feeling. Just because You easier.
It's a familiar reaction, perhaps even from childhood, when thus showed You that You are doing something wrong. Or is it only valid form to induce feelings of love and importance. Often women resort to such behavior. Maybe Your mom was trying so hard to assert himself and establish that it is loved, appreciated, noticed.
Decide what You really feel in the moment when you start to take offense and does offense You stronger, gives you more confidence in yourself? All means of dialogue with a potential abuser you used? If You think that it's not Your problem, then why do You even need an insult? Something someone to prove, to show, to prove? These relationships bring You joy and develop their best qualities or momentary manifestation of a familiar reaction on the script?
I still have one assumption about the cause of the resentment. You can disagree, but think about it, please. I have reason to believe so. Sometimes a person really need to be alone. He may not realize or obviously see the need. Circumstances are such that we extend the conflict and therefore some time to reflect or the decision to continue the relationship. So, this time, the person uses for themselves, the accumulation of resources and just ponder the dramatic moments.
The conflict itself can be, as we often hear, "from scratch", but You start to feel something like resentment, but actually You need time to be alone with him. This often happens in the workplace when one did not understand You, other than upset, but still others need to solve other problems, and You need to gather your thoughts and make a decision. You can provoke a fight, had someone to take offense, and in the meantime you can just relax mentally from everyone.
Or the same example with the child. It happens that the trifle dispute arises, each removed with their grievances, grievances, and continues to do daily chores, whereas the child or the mom just needed rest, time for yourself. You didn't happen like that?
What lies behind Your resentment? Try yourself to understand. published
Author: Yana Tarasenko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: www.b17.ru/article/35256/
Also know that the one who kind of hurt can not understand the essence of the silence. Familiar with a married couple in which the woman is easily offended and takes and shows resentment both to the offender and the children and her entire entourage.
What lies behind such an offended state? The lack of recognition of love, of its significance. Man thus demonstrates his tacit leadership in this situation, signaling "I'll decide when I to stop to take offense, and yet be dependent on my mood. I feel bad, and You may also be."
Of course, we all tend to show his hurt state in that way. Offended when there is no understanding, when not met expectations, when not constructive dialogue, it is not possible to show aggression or other feeling, not around the offender. Different options for the appearance of resentment.
It is clear that neither You nor those whom You have offended, nor the others not satisfying this condition. And You as well! You only think that it's easier. True condition You are hiding under a mask of resentment. You do not understand the way you expected. Just different people with different understandings and expectations, but somehow many of us believe that it is easier to be offended and then the other will understand what you want, than to explain your expectations.
You do not like the behavior or words of the partner, tell him about it. You hurt, not accepted, not approved, Your actions were the reason for the discussion? There are plenty of reasons for resentment, but what is important, that offense no one is forcing You, and only You yourself give permission for the manifestation of this feeling. Just because You easier.
It's a familiar reaction, perhaps even from childhood, when thus showed You that You are doing something wrong. Or is it only valid form to induce feelings of love and importance. Often women resort to such behavior. Maybe Your mom was trying so hard to assert himself and establish that it is loved, appreciated, noticed.
Decide what You really feel in the moment when you start to take offense and does offense You stronger, gives you more confidence in yourself? All means of dialogue with a potential abuser you used? If You think that it's not Your problem, then why do You even need an insult? Something someone to prove, to show, to prove? These relationships bring You joy and develop their best qualities or momentary manifestation of a familiar reaction on the script?
I still have one assumption about the cause of the resentment. You can disagree, but think about it, please. I have reason to believe so. Sometimes a person really need to be alone. He may not realize or obviously see the need. Circumstances are such that we extend the conflict and therefore some time to reflect or the decision to continue the relationship. So, this time, the person uses for themselves, the accumulation of resources and just ponder the dramatic moments.
The conflict itself can be, as we often hear, "from scratch", but You start to feel something like resentment, but actually You need time to be alone with him. This often happens in the workplace when one did not understand You, other than upset, but still others need to solve other problems, and You need to gather your thoughts and make a decision. You can provoke a fight, had someone to take offense, and in the meantime you can just relax mentally from everyone.
Or the same example with the child. It happens that the trifle dispute arises, each removed with their grievances, grievances, and continues to do daily chores, whereas the child or the mom just needed rest, time for yourself. You didn't happen like that?
What lies behind Your resentment? Try yourself to understand. published
Author: Yana Tarasenko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: www.b17.ru/article/35256/
