Show off right: 5 ways to promote yourself

Suppose you were in a meeting or group interview. And the moment of truth: if you don't, it will make someone else – and get those bonuses or the promotion that you deserve. How to avoid such situations and learn how to promote yourself without blushing, explains psychologist Christian Jarrett.

People who are confident and able to talk about their achievements, often seem more competent. But in many societies there is a cultural norm that prescribes modesty, and so bouncers often seem rude and unpleasant. One recent study shows that many of us even underestimate how annoying people are our boast.

To ensure that your achievements are appreciated, but not to be considered a bouncer is a delicate matter. But psychologists have studied this dilemma and give us tips on how to effectively talk about yourself.





Do not impose One thing suddenly start to praise yourself when no one you did not ask about it, and quite another – to answer the question the boss about your performance. The fact that your "bragging" is directly related to the conversation, can change a lot.

Psychologist Nurit tal-Or conducted an experiment in which a fictional character AVI bragging about their exam results. People didn't like the AVI, if he, and not the companion, struck up a conversation on this topic. If the subject of success were raised by the interlocutor, AVI could brag about anything (even if its not directly asked about the exams) and people still thought he was a good guy.

It is a useful reminder, especially for people of modest that bragging is acceptable, especially if you are at the interview or the officer assesses your competence. In such a situation, people do expect from you, what are you going to present their achievements.

 

Compare yourself to a pastself-glorification can create a negative impression, as people often perceive it as a commitment to excellence – as you belittle.

In a series of experiments, the psychologists asked the participants to answer various boastful statements in the group discussion about student friendship. "Smoothview" statements like "I am better than others" (best student, best friend) evoked negative emotions, because it created a sense that the speaker disparages the others.

Conversely, statements in the spirit of self — development "I learned how to do something better than before," and claims no comparisons ("I'm a good friend") caused a favorable assessment.

From this simple lesson: if you claim their superiority over others, this is a serious risk that you perceive as an unpleasant person. Try to focus on your own achievements, no cheap shots against colleagues and rivals.

 Use allyBecause in our culture of excessive bragging is most often caused by the condemnation, there is an obvious but effective way to "sell yourself" — ask the other person to talk about your strengths and virtues.

Take the study published by the Danish psychologists, in which they asked the participants to respond to favourable characteristics of people in ads on Dating. Importantly, participants were told that these characteristics (e.g., positive evaluations of sociability and competence) is written either by the person himself, or by his colleague/friend.

And it turned out that those participants who thought that the characterization comes from the author of the ad, rated it as less sociable and less competent person than those participants who were confident in the fact that the characteristic was given to friends. We are not inclined to trust positive self-esteem, but I believe exactly the same statements much more if they come from someone else, even if it is biased people – friends or someone who works for you.

Any praise in your address will have more success if you find a Trustee that will speak well of you. Search for partners and colleagues who would be willing to sing to you is a strong instrument of promotion.

 

Know your audienceAlison Fragel and Adam Grant, psychology of work in organizations, I decided to look at this issue a little differently. They asked the question: what audience characteristics affect does boast a good strategy? In particular, they wanted to understand does it matter if the students are distracted or, on the contrary, intently listen to someone who brags.

The participants of the experiment were given to read summary and recommendations of candidates for a certain position and then asked to evaluate these candidates. It turned out that the boasting goes, only when participants were distracted (they were given another task or simply were allocated little time to the study of documents). In this case, they took into account the information the candidate has provided about their competence, but have forgotten or not noticed that he was just showing off. When participants are not distracted, they did conclude that boastful candidates are poorly educated and disrespectful.

Think what that means in real life: imagine yourself in a group interview or a meeting where the Manager or the recruiter is forced to divide her attention among all participants in the conversation. Take a look and rate the mood in the room – you lose some points when you begin to praise yourself? Given such a noisy, competitive context, then your Manager is unlikely to remember where he got the information about that you broke all its sales records last month. But you will benefit from the fact that we were able to sell their success, and the fact that you violated the norm of modesty, will not be noticed.

 

Beware of excessive modestyIf you still find it hard to accept the idea that their achievements need to be told in full, here's another useful conclusion: excessive modesty may make a negative impression. For example, one study showed that people who overly talk about yourself ("me a lot of fun. I'm a people person"), is more often evaluated positively than those who say self-deprecating: "With me is not very fun. I am never the life of the party". If you belittle yourself, don't be surprised if others will do it again. The most positive assessment given to the people who talk about themselves in a balanced manner –recognize both strengths and weaknesses.

And that's exactly what you should avoid is bragging under the guise of modesty or complaints ("Since, as I posted that viral article, a number of letters from readers got to be too much – it takes so much time!"). One new study shows that this strategy is disastrous in two respects: first, bragging does not reach the goal — you do not make a good impression, and secondly, people will still see that you are bragging. That is, you will be seen as a person and unpleasant and insincere.published

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

Source: ideanomics.ru/?p=5145