5 great ways to promote themselves. Show off right! Bashny.Net

People who are self-confident and able to talk about their accomplishments, often seem to be more competent, says psihologKristian Dzharrett.No while in many societies there is a cultural norm that prescribes modesty, which means that bouncers often seem rude and unpleasant. One recent study shows that many of us have even underestimated how annoying our people boast.

Ensure that your accomplishments appreciated, but not to be considered a braggart - a delicate matter. But psychologists have studied this dilemma and give us tips on how to effectively talk about themselves. Website happy to share these tips with you.

not impose h3> It is one thing - suddenly start to praise yourself when you nobody will ask, and quite another - honestly answer the question the boss about your performance. The mere fact that your "bragging" is directly relevant to the conversation can change a lot.

Psychologist Nurit Tal-Or conducted an experiment in which a fictional character Avi boasted of his exam results. People do not like Avi, if he, and not the source, start a conversation on this topic. If the theme of success raised the interlocutor, the Avi could brag about anything (even if it was not asked directly about the final) - and participants still thought he was a nice guy. This is a useful reminder, especially for people of modest that showing off quite acceptable, especially if you're on a job interview or boss appreciates your competence. In this situation, people will expect from you, that you will present their achievements.

compares himself to a last h3> Self-glorification can create a negative impression because people often perceive it as a commitment to excellence - as if you are putting down their. In a series of experiments, the psychologists asked participants to respond to different boastful statements within a group discussion about student friendship. "Samovozvyshayuschie" statements like "I am better than others" (best student, best friend) called negative emotions, because it created the impression that the speaker belittle others.

In contrast, in the spirit of self-assertion - "I learned how to do something better than before" - and without the approval of the comparisons ("I'm a good friend") caused a favorable assessment. From this simple lesson: if you claim superiority over others, it is a serious risk that you perceive as a bad person. Try to focus on your own achievements, without cheap shots against peers and competitors.

Use ally h3> Since our culture too much bragging often causes condemnation, there is an obvious but effective way "to sell itself» - Ask another person tell us about your strengths and virtues. < br />
Consider a study published by the Danish psychologist, in which they asked participants to respond to the favorable characteristics of people in ads for dating. What is important, the participants said that these characteristics (for example, the positive assessment of communication skills and competence), or written by the man himself, or his colleague / friend.

And it turned out that those participants who thought that the performance comes from the author of the ad, it was assessed as being less sociable and less competent person than those participants who were confident that given the characteristics of the familiar. We do not tend to trust positive self-esteem, but we believe in exactly the same assertions much more if they come from someone else, even if they are people prejudiced - friend or someone who works for you.

Any praise to your address will have more success if you find a trusted person who will speak well of you. Look for partners and colleagues that you will be ready to sing - is a powerful tool for self-promotion.

Know your audience h3> Alison Fredzheyl and Adam Grant, studied psychology work in organizations, we decided to look at this issue a little differently. They wonder: what characteristics influence the audience becomes whether boasting a successful strategy? In particular, they wanted to know whether the value if the students are distracted or, on the contrary, concentrated on listening to the one who boasts.

Participants were given to read the summary and recommendations of candidates for a certain position and then asked to rate the candidates. It turns out that to get away with boasting only when the distracted participants (they were given another task or just recovered a little time to study the documents). In this case, they take into account information that the candidates represent their competence, but forgot or did not notice that he was just showing off. When participants are not distracted, they conclude that the boastful candidates badly brought up and disrespectful.

Think about what this means in real life: imagine yourself in a group interview or a meeting where the manager or the recruiter is forced to divide his attention between all participants in the conversation. Take a look and vote the mood in the room - you will lose some points if you start praising yourself? Given such a noisy, competitive context, your manager then hardly remember where he got the information that you have broken all their sales records last month. But you win on that we were able to sell its success, and the fact that you have violated a norm of modesty, will not be noticed.

Avoid excessive modesty h3> If you are still hard to accept the idea that their achievements should be told in full, here is another useful conclusion: excessive modesty may make a negative impression. For example, one study showed that people who exaggerated talk about themselves ("to me a lot of fun. I am the soul of the company"), more positively evaluated than those who said self-deprecatingly, "I'm not very much fun. I've never been the soul of the company. " If you are putting down yourself, do not be surprised if others will repeat it. At the same time the most positive assessment received by people who talk about themselves in a balanced recognize both strengths and weaknesses.

But what exactly should be avoided because it is showing off under the guise of modesty or complaints («Ever since I published the viral article, the number of letters from readers was off scale - it takes so much time!"). One new study shows that this strategy is a failure in two respects: first, bragging does not reach the target - you can not make a good impression, and secondly, people still see you boast. That is, you perceive as a person and unpleasant, and insincere.



Source 99u.co, Maria Furman translated for publication Ideonomika

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