56
Causes in the past
Many people, faced with some problem in life, do not solve it, and turn 180 degrees and begin to look for reasons in the past. Very infantile people in early childhood begin to have problems looking for and blaming their mother, as usual. The less infantile look for problems in their wrong actions. They themselves are appointed a scapegoat, but they cannot let go.
The meaning of the scapegoat in the ancient ritual was that he was appointed the culprit and then he was released, expelled from the settlement, got rid of him. With him, it was believed, all the troubles should have gone. Modern people do the opposite. They appoint someone as a scapegoat: their mother, husband, themselves, but they expect that this designated goat will solve everything for them, pay the bills for their invented lawsuit.
In fact, turning your gaze 180 degrees and thinking about the past is turning your already swinging locus of control into an external one. That is, to deprive yourself of motivation and strength. Even if you blame your past actions, it is still an external locus of control in such a situation. Because the past is long gone. Far from the present.
In the present, you need to solve a problem, look for ways out here, not disassemble hypothetically correct behavior there.Maybe you should have done that, or maybe this. Who cares now? It is the substitution of speculative actions for real actions, that is, actions that you perform only in your imagination in a situation of the past that you have simulated. And you waste energy in the void.
Analyzing the past can be helpful when planning a strategy for the future.. The future is also hypothetical yet, but you are shaping it in the present. You come up with a plan of behavior, decide what you do. This is where you can be guided by your experience. Consider what you have done before and what you have not.
Most people never engage in any strategy.They float through life like a log, where they will carry a stream of accidental circumstances and momentary desires. But their eyes are somehow directed into the past. They lament, regret, nostalgia and shame for their past.
Especially when this log is faced with some problem and should at least here urgently take the oars, and preferably the steering wheel and steer out of the trap, it instead begins to think hard about the past and look for a scapegoat. But the goat, even if you appoint him, won't be driving for you. It will remain indifferent in your head. Indifferent chewers of weed.
Take an example of how that happens. Let’s say you have a default at work or at home. The bosses are disappointed in you, the colleagues are disrespectful, and you treat them no better. Or in the family the same, boredom or constant swearing. Instead of considering all the options that you have left to fix the default situation and then thinking about finding a new place, you actively indulge in memories. Do you think that once you remember where the default started, it will evaporate?
Let’s say that at first everything was fine at work, and then a colleague went on vacation, you took his project, did not cope with two projects and then everything fell down. Or maybe not then, but you decided to scapegoat that colleague or yourself for being soft and accommodating. I should have refused! What are you going to do with this “should have”?
It is not a fact that in the past you would have been able to refuse, and now you will definitely not be able to abandon the past. Would you go back in a time machine and do something different? An analysis of a bad experience may come in handy when you are asked to take on two projects again, and you will remember how you failed to cope with either. When the situation is just developing, you can take as a model similar to the past!
This is the productive meaning of experience. And by solving an existing problem, you can not abandon what happened. Too late! Now you need to look at the opportunities that you have left. Do not waste time on regrets and accusations of those from whom nothing can be recovered administratively.
Or a family default. You can remember when your spouse started treating you worse. After that or after that situation. And instead of looking at your current routine and thinking about what to change in it to revive the relationship or vice versa for more rest from each other, you recall some of your wrong actions in the distant past, starting from the day of acquaintance. Some believe that blaming yourself is adult responsibility. How do you take responsibility for the past? On a time machine?
It’s like telling a former classmate years after graduation that you’re willing to take a walk with them after school, as they once asked. From that classmate nothing remained, he grew up significantly, was heard in the shoulders, changed two wives, got children, grew a belly, was fond of TV series and your offer to walk will not be happy. That boy in love is gone, he's left in your imagination. Do not write notes to an imaginary figure on behalf of an imaginary little girl. The girl's gone too. It's all gone.
Do you know the main reason why people always blame moms, exes, or themselves in the past?
The main reason is the desire to believe that the good life is their default. Here a man was born and began to grow, he should grow strong muscular legs, strong dexterous hands, a smart, bright head, various talents should grow, creative inspiration should blossom and fall on the head of various good fortunes.
All these things must happen by themselves while he is relaxed. And if suddenly his legs are weak or his head is not smart enough, then it’s BACK! Trauma! By default, everything was supposed to be good, he was guaranteed happiness at birth, issued a certificate for passive receipt of all benefits, and if something did not turn out by itself, then someone from the close environment is to blame.
Mother of course! Traumatized, inspired complexes, prevented the flowering of original talents and the formation of resources. All resources had to grow by themselves, without effort, search and effort. If it's not an industry, someone stole it.
Where are my millions? He asks such a grown-up man, twisted and twisted. Thieves pulled something. He had to quietly go to school-high school-office and perform some simple automatic actions, and he was paid millions for it. And a beautiful body, without the seventh sweat in the gym and the regime of the day, had to grow out of genes.
And love was to be given to him by Heaven, half ready to meet. Genetically programmed half for his sensual and spiritual pleasures. And if it doesn't happen, what does it mean again? It's Mom's fault. Teacher. Bad people who created in it, originally perfect, ugliness and complex.
The idea of their innate perfection is the anthem of egocentrics, who always confuse the potential income provided the effort and the rent guaranteed by them.
Life is not real estate! It's movement. There will be no movement, everything will crumble. And what you've already earned can crumble if there's a long stop.
By default, we are all acidic masses. Without effort and hard work, we are guaranteed an unhappy, boring, miserable life. And infectious diseases. That's what we're guaranteed by default. On condition of our passivity, eternal external locus and refusal to climb the mountain. Get it and sign it. And don't tell me that something has been stolen, taken, taken away. You had nothing. You should've made your own money. But they didn't. Whether it was invested in the wrong way or not.
Start now. Otherwise, things will only get worse and worse. Because the reserve of youth, the only advance, will also run out. The good news is that it is never too late to start. The groans that you were taken away by those who did not explain all this to you once, in advance, from the same opera. No one had to explain anything to anyone. You can be grateful for explanations, blame for their absence.
That is, it is important to consider any problem in terms of what I can do to improve the situation. Not: What’s the reason that things don’t go well? Nothing has to go by itself! Obstacles in life arise by default as in a computer game, and you have to bypass and jump over them, anticipate them in advance with the help of a far-reaching strategy. This is called proactivity. Without proactivity, the oncoming flow of life will break you down and bend you.
The only important wish. . .
Energy ageing
That's right. Life is not a comfortable stream that gently carries you from birth to death through the paradise of pleasures. It is a counterflow that will bend and break you, while making you stronger, stronger, smarter if you resist it, fight it. But resist him without enmity, with love. More play, it will disarm the oncoming stream and cause vibrations in it, which are called “creative inspiration”.
But inspiration is a separate mysterious topic.
Author: Marina Komissarova
Source: evo-lutio.livejournal.com/348491.html
The meaning of the scapegoat in the ancient ritual was that he was appointed the culprit and then he was released, expelled from the settlement, got rid of him. With him, it was believed, all the troubles should have gone. Modern people do the opposite. They appoint someone as a scapegoat: their mother, husband, themselves, but they expect that this designated goat will solve everything for them, pay the bills for their invented lawsuit.
In fact, turning your gaze 180 degrees and thinking about the past is turning your already swinging locus of control into an external one. That is, to deprive yourself of motivation and strength. Even if you blame your past actions, it is still an external locus of control in such a situation. Because the past is long gone. Far from the present.
In the present, you need to solve a problem, look for ways out here, not disassemble hypothetically correct behavior there.Maybe you should have done that, or maybe this. Who cares now? It is the substitution of speculative actions for real actions, that is, actions that you perform only in your imagination in a situation of the past that you have simulated. And you waste energy in the void.
Analyzing the past can be helpful when planning a strategy for the future.. The future is also hypothetical yet, but you are shaping it in the present. You come up with a plan of behavior, decide what you do. This is where you can be guided by your experience. Consider what you have done before and what you have not.
Most people never engage in any strategy.They float through life like a log, where they will carry a stream of accidental circumstances and momentary desires. But their eyes are somehow directed into the past. They lament, regret, nostalgia and shame for their past.
Especially when this log is faced with some problem and should at least here urgently take the oars, and preferably the steering wheel and steer out of the trap, it instead begins to think hard about the past and look for a scapegoat. But the goat, even if you appoint him, won't be driving for you. It will remain indifferent in your head. Indifferent chewers of weed.
Take an example of how that happens. Let’s say you have a default at work or at home. The bosses are disappointed in you, the colleagues are disrespectful, and you treat them no better. Or in the family the same, boredom or constant swearing. Instead of considering all the options that you have left to fix the default situation and then thinking about finding a new place, you actively indulge in memories. Do you think that once you remember where the default started, it will evaporate?
Let’s say that at first everything was fine at work, and then a colleague went on vacation, you took his project, did not cope with two projects and then everything fell down. Or maybe not then, but you decided to scapegoat that colleague or yourself for being soft and accommodating. I should have refused! What are you going to do with this “should have”?
It is not a fact that in the past you would have been able to refuse, and now you will definitely not be able to abandon the past. Would you go back in a time machine and do something different? An analysis of a bad experience may come in handy when you are asked to take on two projects again, and you will remember how you failed to cope with either. When the situation is just developing, you can take as a model similar to the past!
This is the productive meaning of experience. And by solving an existing problem, you can not abandon what happened. Too late! Now you need to look at the opportunities that you have left. Do not waste time on regrets and accusations of those from whom nothing can be recovered administratively.
Or a family default. You can remember when your spouse started treating you worse. After that or after that situation. And instead of looking at your current routine and thinking about what to change in it to revive the relationship or vice versa for more rest from each other, you recall some of your wrong actions in the distant past, starting from the day of acquaintance. Some believe that blaming yourself is adult responsibility. How do you take responsibility for the past? On a time machine?
It’s like telling a former classmate years after graduation that you’re willing to take a walk with them after school, as they once asked. From that classmate nothing remained, he grew up significantly, was heard in the shoulders, changed two wives, got children, grew a belly, was fond of TV series and your offer to walk will not be happy. That boy in love is gone, he's left in your imagination. Do not write notes to an imaginary figure on behalf of an imaginary little girl. The girl's gone too. It's all gone.
Do you know the main reason why people always blame moms, exes, or themselves in the past?
The main reason is the desire to believe that the good life is their default. Here a man was born and began to grow, he should grow strong muscular legs, strong dexterous hands, a smart, bright head, various talents should grow, creative inspiration should blossom and fall on the head of various good fortunes.
All these things must happen by themselves while he is relaxed. And if suddenly his legs are weak or his head is not smart enough, then it’s BACK! Trauma! By default, everything was supposed to be good, he was guaranteed happiness at birth, issued a certificate for passive receipt of all benefits, and if something did not turn out by itself, then someone from the close environment is to blame.
Mother of course! Traumatized, inspired complexes, prevented the flowering of original talents and the formation of resources. All resources had to grow by themselves, without effort, search and effort. If it's not an industry, someone stole it.
Where are my millions? He asks such a grown-up man, twisted and twisted. Thieves pulled something. He had to quietly go to school-high school-office and perform some simple automatic actions, and he was paid millions for it. And a beautiful body, without the seventh sweat in the gym and the regime of the day, had to grow out of genes.
And love was to be given to him by Heaven, half ready to meet. Genetically programmed half for his sensual and spiritual pleasures. And if it doesn't happen, what does it mean again? It's Mom's fault. Teacher. Bad people who created in it, originally perfect, ugliness and complex.
The idea of their innate perfection is the anthem of egocentrics, who always confuse the potential income provided the effort and the rent guaranteed by them.
Life is not real estate! It's movement. There will be no movement, everything will crumble. And what you've already earned can crumble if there's a long stop.
By default, we are all acidic masses. Without effort and hard work, we are guaranteed an unhappy, boring, miserable life. And infectious diseases. That's what we're guaranteed by default. On condition of our passivity, eternal external locus and refusal to climb the mountain. Get it and sign it. And don't tell me that something has been stolen, taken, taken away. You had nothing. You should've made your own money. But they didn't. Whether it was invested in the wrong way or not.
Start now. Otherwise, things will only get worse and worse. Because the reserve of youth, the only advance, will also run out. The good news is that it is never too late to start. The groans that you were taken away by those who did not explain all this to you once, in advance, from the same opera. No one had to explain anything to anyone. You can be grateful for explanations, blame for their absence.
That is, it is important to consider any problem in terms of what I can do to improve the situation. Not: What’s the reason that things don’t go well? Nothing has to go by itself! Obstacles in life arise by default as in a computer game, and you have to bypass and jump over them, anticipate them in advance with the help of a far-reaching strategy. This is called proactivity. Without proactivity, the oncoming flow of life will break you down and bend you.
The only important wish. . .
Energy ageing
That's right. Life is not a comfortable stream that gently carries you from birth to death through the paradise of pleasures. It is a counterflow that will bend and break you, while making you stronger, stronger, smarter if you resist it, fight it. But resist him without enmity, with love. More play, it will disarm the oncoming stream and cause vibrations in it, which are called “creative inspiration”.
But inspiration is a separate mysterious topic.
Author: Marina Komissarova
Source: evo-lutio.livejournal.com/348491.html
