Schaub I lived! 15 cool anecdotes

The Odessa jokes is a delicate mix of humor, wisdom and that special view of the world that we love this city so much. Hello, Semyon Abramovich! How's life?
— In life, of course, is not enough, but the funeral, thank God, we also can not afford.

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Odessa Privoz:
Man, you sho so matzo these tomatoes? This is not your wife!
If I had their matzoh as his wife, you would now be traded in tomato juice!

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— Bob, what are you doing?
— Learn Braille for the blind.
Why? You have eye drops?
— No, I want to save on electricity.

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— You don't know why Rabinovich lives in such luxury?
— Due to lack of evidence.

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— Asya Markovna, what can you say about your son-in-law?
— It looks like a plane on the earth are from him absolutely no good.

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There are still 2 kinds of women. On the 1st look and think: "I do not drink so much".
And the 2nd: "I can't earn".

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Odessa, message Board:
"Aunt Fira with Moldovanki for a very inexpensive ready to promote you as a man among his many friends."

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How much for these coat for my Sarocky?
— It will cost you 3000 euros.
Wait, somehow this is all wrong. Let's do it slowly.
— It will cost...
— Exactly! It will cost!

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Odessa is a very cultural city. Exhibitionists here, even before you open the cloak, warned: "I'm awfully sorry, but it is still worth a look!"

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— Hello! The police! I was trying to Rob!
— Solomon Moiseevich, it's you again? If a customer requests a discount of 5% is not considered a robbery!

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Odessa, the beach, the announcement:
"Women are forbidden to sunbathe Topless! But not every bottom is a stand.

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— Sam, your wife is a fool!
— Moishe, would you silently envy?!

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Madame Fishman, looking at the wedding procession:
— Well, another carried the dishes to wash...

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— Doctor, you know, my nose is stuffed up!
— Oh, I beg you! I laid flat, and you are funny with your snot!

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As said aunt Celia, not in money happiness! But with money you can afford to be miserable anywhere when anywhere and with anyone...

via factroom.ru