20 extremely funny jokes, again taken straight from Odessa! Bashny.Net

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Odessa has become the source of humor and funny dialogues. Site invites the reader to get acquainted with the unique wit of these wonderful people by reading 20 fresh anecdotes! — Solomon Markovich, how is your son in school?
— Already better... But still go to PTA meetings under an assumed name.

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— Sarah M., tell, citizen Rabinovich have declined to cohabit?
— Yes, five times and still bowed bowed two times.
— It was perverted, or cruel?
— And what do you think of the five times he did it only two or is it still not cruel?!

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— Celia Markovna, please! Close the curtains when changing!
— Sho?
— And then! At the Transfiguration, the tube, trams can't go, so many investigators for you!

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Two Odessa girlfriend:
— Verochka, how I hate irresponsible men!
— Sho happened?
— Well, if said Shaw to the eighth trip, why the seventh still to come!

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One person calls the HR Department of the Institute:
— You Jews work?
— Take!
— Where do you get them?

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— Hello, Sam? At home, we have a very strong smell of gas... I'm afraid I'll explode!
— Lucy, calm down! Light a candle and pray.

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— Lev Moiseevich, — the policeman asks the driver, — have you been drinking?
— Ask: "have You been drinking?"And even if someone asked if I had!

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— Rose, OK, here's the recipe: take three eggs…
Yeah, write: two eggs.
— Rosette, write three! The recipe was five!

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— Monya, before the wedding, I want you to confess all their sins!
— Sara, please, you a week ago admitted!
Still have fresh data.

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— Solomon, I'm fat!
— And how you determined that you're fat?
I can't get into my old closet.
— My God, The Sofa! Well, buy a bigger one!

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Odessa Privoz.
— Shaw, you have now a flounder so flat!
After the more take, Madam! It will elegantly blend in with your bust!

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Grandmother Sarah loved Skype:
— No, you will finally see, what a thing. And it seems we have guests, and feeding is not necessary.

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— Well, as Sara in bed?
Still fit!

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— Rose, I suggest You hand and heart!
— Oh, Mona! It's all anatomy! Still when specific actions will be?

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Young man walking on Deribasovskaya street, and meet him by the old lady.
— Grandmother, please tell me how to get to the hospital?
— Oh, you're looking at him! Tell me again, "grandma" — and immediately there will be!

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Privoz in Odessa.
— Madam, and change?
— You Shaw, here for the surrender came?
— No.
Is that still and go without change!

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Rosa Markovna after the next divorce.
— Sophie, it's terrible!
— Sho happened?
— The passport only three men left! After the whole head broke, so wisely spend!

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Courtyard Odessa. Yakov Moiseevich shouts from the balcony:
— Sam, did take in hand with the backside of my daughter!
— But she loves it.
I don't like!
I'm on your not put a…

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— Sam, have you ever talked to your little Sarah, what do you think of her?
— And then! Want a scar on my head show?

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— Fima, I found your stash and all of her pulled at the restaurant, will still be a lesson to you — it is something from me to hide!
— Sonia, do not worry, I'm on a new coat saved…

via factroom.ru