30 hilarious anecdotes about the features of family life in Odessa

Site
***

- Sarochka, may give up a home phone? We do not use them almost!
- Fima! It you do not use! And I'm calling from home to mobile to find out where he is!

***

- Fima, for such a meager salary sho I have? Stove and bed with a view of your back! And so every day!
- And sho do
? - Look for a job. Yes such Schaub, I feel like a woman!
- And what should be the work
? - With a lot of money and a long trip

. ***

- Celia, daughter, listen! Husband not to bring to a boil, and it can evaporate!

***

- Rose, in our area, and only talk about how you cheated on me sho
. - It is -. True
- And they say to you sho goes some Italian sailor
? - And this - very true

! ***

- Rose, want to go with me to muzey
? - Yasha, you sho, the word "restoran" not pronounce

? ***

Lёvochka was not what he wanted for his birthday. Therefore, from the chair, he said, he is not what taught.

***

- Oh, your lips red! And these same breast as peaches! And what a delicate tummy ... Oh, and all this navel! And then ...
- Esja, I beg you! We will love to engage in the same day or to conduct inventory ?!

***

- Monya, I gave your jeans
our neighbor. - This is in honor of what ?!
- Well, they still do not liked
. - So sho ?! Let's give the neighbor is now your mother!

***

- Celia, let's agree: I'm telling you, sho is very tasty and you is never to cook

. ***

A neighbor from the top, Sarah Isaakovna the morning so shouting at your child that Monya also cleaned the apartment and dressed warmly.

***

Little Izzy did not scream in a toy store: "Buy!". He started with an abstract theme, for example: "Dad, your childhood, too, was heavy and joyless?»

***

Celia comes out of a beauty salon. Zalman, looking at her, muttering:
- Well, I did ... at least try ...

***

- Rosette, I realized that I was still time to change something in my life
! - And Shaw now? You sit on the television and you will be playing on the couch?

***

- Fima, the question "Do you agree to take a wife Ziehl?" Should be answered "agree" and not "where we did not disappear!»

***

- Abrash, I did not tell you, you sho my best
? - No
! - Shaw is it, and who am I to say it yesterday

? ***

Rose after shower looking in the mirror:
- Sёmochka, tell me honestly: I have a terrible
without makeup? - Rose, to be honest, I'm afraid, and with cosmetics

. ***

- Fima, what do you think about sex
? - Oh, Monya does not bother me! I have 12 children - I have no time to engage in theory

! ***

Wife dies from an old Jew:
- Abraham, will you marry after my death
? - No, Sarochka you! Do not get married!
- But why? You're still the man no matter where?
- Because it's better than you I did not find ... And the same, I do not want

. ***

- Senya, sho you run around like an idiot with that flyswatter
? - Rose, do not bother me mine! I killed five still flies ... Three males and two females!
- I beg you! How did you know ?!
- A sho here to learn? Three - in the jar with beer, and two - on the phone ...

***

The hour of the night. Mony shouts of bedrooms:
- Honey, you finally come to me ?!
Rosa, not looking up from the computer:
- Now, yeah, I threw all my classmates and you ran

! ***

- Yasha, we're still the most unhappy people
! - Firochka why you think so
? - We live by the sea, even on vacation we go nowhere

! ***

Parting words from Monet's grandson Baba Basi:
- Monechka! To find the princess, you need to kiss a frog and not sleep with all the same swamp.

***

- My husband and I planned for tomorrow Extraordinary Day of Accord and Reconciliation
. - It's like
? - We go to the store. I try on - he agrees

! ***

- Madam short, I am interested to ask you how old
? - 85 ...
- Oh-wei! And you drink, smoke?
- Of course! And I never shall die.

***

- Izzy, take the child to the football
! - What for? He is still small.
- Well, sho, he just yells

! ***

Newlyweds breakfast:
- Honey, I do not get a good cook just cake and fried fish
. - Musenka, my love, over time, you still know other delicious dishes, and now I still want to know, I sho eat - cake or grilled fish ?!

***

- Monya, why are you so sad
? - I bought the same to his son a new pair of shoes, and told him to walk two steps to keep the shoes longer
. - Well, what happened
? - It is two steps instead of just three crossed and torn pants themselves

! ***

Over the years, a strong love for his wife Nahum Lazarevic turned into culinary and household dependency.

***

- Fira, why do not you wear your belt slimming
? - He became my small ...

***

Itzik yells at Rose:
- Idiёtka! You idiёtka!
Rose calmly responds:
- Correctly! Released to marry the king would be the queen!

via factroom.ru