30 hilarious anecdotes about the features of family life in Odessa




Site remarked family life in Odessa has its own peculiarities, which, however, gives it, if the dish special urgency! Zalman and Rimma live in harmony: one the same tastes, ideas and desires. Only Ziama took five years to adapt to this.

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- Sarochka, may give up a home phone? We do not use them almost!
- Fima! It you do not use! And I'm calling from home to mobile to find out where he is!

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- Fima, for such a meager salary sho I have? Stove and bed with a view of your back! And so every day!
- And sho do
? - Look for a job. Yes such Schaub, I feel like a woman!
- And what should be the work
? - With a lot of money and a long trip

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- Celia, daughter, listen! Husband not to bring to a boil, and it can evaporate!

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- Rose, in our area, and only talk about how you cheated on me sho
. - It is -. True
- And they say to you sho goes some Italian sailor
? - And this - very true

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- Rose, want to go with me to muzey
? - Yasha, you sho, the word "restoran" not pronounce

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Lёvochka was not what he wanted for his birthday. Therefore, from the chair, he said, he is not what taught.

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- Oh, your lips red! And these same breast as peaches! And what a delicate tummy ... Oh, and all this navel! And then ...
- Esja, I beg you! We will love to engage in the same day or to conduct inventory ?!

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- Monya, I gave your jeans
our neighbor. - This is in honor of what ?!
- Well, they still do not liked
. - So sho ?! Let's give the neighbor is now your mother!

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- Celia, let's agree: I'm telling you, sho is very tasty and you is never to cook

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A neighbor from the top, Sarah Isaakovna the morning so shouting at your child that Monya also cleaned the apartment and dressed warmly.

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Little Izzy did not scream in a toy store: "Buy!". He started with an abstract theme, for example: "Dad, your childhood, too, was heavy and joyless?»

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Celia comes out of a beauty salon. Zalman, looking at her, muttering:
- Well, I did ... at least try ...

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- Rosette, I realized that I was still time to change something in my life
! - And Shaw now? You sit on the television and you will be playing on the couch?

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- Fima, the question "Do you agree to take a wife Ziehl?" Should be answered "agree" and not "where we did not disappear!»

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- Abrash, I did not tell you, you sho my best
? - No
! - Shaw is it, and who am I to say it yesterday

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Rose after shower looking in the mirror:
- Sёmochka, tell me honestly: I have a terrible
without makeup? - Rose, to be honest, I'm afraid, and with cosmetics

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- Fima, what do you think about sex
? - Oh, Monya does not bother me! I have 12 children - I have no time to engage in theory

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Wife dies from an old Jew:
- Abraham, will you marry after my death
? - No, Sarochka you! Do not get married!
- But why? You're still the man no matter where?
- Because it's better than you I did not find ... And the same, I do not want

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- Senya, sho you run around like an idiot with that flyswatter
? - Rose, do not bother me mine! I killed five still flies ... Three males and two females!
- I beg you! How did you know ?!
- A sho here to learn? Three - in the jar with beer, and two - on the phone ...

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The hour of the night. Mony shouts of bedrooms:
- Honey, you finally come to me ?!
Rosa, not looking up from the computer:
- Now, yeah, I threw all my classmates and you ran

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- Yasha, we're still the most unhappy people
! - Firochka why you think so
? - We live by the sea, even on vacation we go nowhere

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Parting words from Monet's grandson Baba Basi:
- Monechka! To find the princess, you need to kiss a frog and not sleep with all the same swamp.

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- My husband and I planned for tomorrow Extraordinary Day of Accord and Reconciliation
. - It's like
? - We go to the store. I try on - he agrees

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- Madam short, I am interested to ask you how old
? - 85 ...
- Oh-wei! And you drink, smoke?
- Of course! And I never shall die.

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- Izzy, take the child to the football
! - What for? He is still small.
- Well, sho, he just yells

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Newlyweds breakfast:
- Honey, I do not get a good cook just cake and fried fish
. - Musenka, my love, over time, you still know other delicious dishes, and now I still want to know, I sho eat - cake or grilled fish ?!

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- Monya, why are you so sad
? - I bought the same to his son a new pair of shoes, and told him to walk two steps to keep the shoes longer
. - Well, what happened
? - It is two steps instead of just three crossed and torn pants themselves

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Over the years, a strong love for his wife Nahum Lazarevic turned into culinary and household dependency.

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- Fira, why do not you wear your belt slimming
? - He became my small ...

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Itzik yells at Rose:
- Idiёtka! You idiёtka!
Rose calmly responds:
- Correctly! Released to marry the king would be the queen!

via factroom.ru

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