20 of excellent Odessa anecdotes from which ve still find yourself under the table!




Oh, these inhabitants of Odessa finger in her mouth no luggage ... bitten off at the elbow! Site publishes a selection of sparkling humor of Odessa. - Monechka, my dear, tell me, do you remember when you decided to marry me
? - Of course I remember! When I learned that you have given me a bouquet sold, I immediately realized: you're just the kind of woman that I need

! ***

- Solomon Markovich, sho a mature age
? - This is the period between the end of the illusions of youth and start of old age hallucinations

. ***

- Abraham, why do not you buy a car
? - What for? When I feel good, I carries the police, and when the bad - ambulance

. ***

Rose Markovna stood in front of the supermarket and softly whispered: "Lord, help me to buy only what came ...┬╗

***

- Zhorik on a first date:
- Oh, Rose Sigizmundovna and vie the Internet itself is not as described ...
- Yes vie drink, Zhorik, drink

! ***

- Benny, I still guarantee you sho in five years we will have a better life than in Europe
! - A sho they happen

? ***

- So, Sarah, your diet, one apple, one egg and cheese
. - Clearly, the doctor, it is before or after a meal

? ***

- Sarah, you and I married the first day, and only quarrel ...
- Tackie two years I waited for this day

! ***

"Better safe than sorry" - Moshe thought, when he runs out of ink in the pen at the time of registration in the registry office

. ***

- Sarochka, sho vie keep me for a fool ?!
- Yes, I'm your fool and do not touch

! ***

- Mom, is not shoby I'm not glad to see you, just did not have time for you to get bored ...

***

- Aunt Sonya, and Shaw is a "public opinion┬╗
? - Public opinion - it is the opinion of those who did not ask

. ***

- My Lucy forever whining: "Mine have nothing to wear, nothing to wear mine!┬╗
- Oh, Fima, I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let himself wears!

***

- Samuel Markovic, you're strong, you can do it
! - Jacob, I'm smart, I did not even undertake

! ***

Odessa market:
- Madam, how much is your chicken
? -. 40 hryvnia
- And so, I did not think Schaub for you bad

? ***

- Celia, you have a shred of conscience is
? - You sho, still instill

? ***

- Tell me, and I sho will still have for their selflessness

? ***

- Hello, Semen Abramovich! How's life?
- In life, of course, is not enough, but, thank God, the funeral we also can not afford ...

***

By law, Nathan Markovich has the right to work.
But he is trying not to abuse this right.

***

- Firochka and de have you been? Shaw a long time since you have not seen!
- Yes to work in Italy I went
. - Are you at least do not occur: always spoil the mood

! ***

- Oh, Rabinovich, come again! then so well without you!

via www.adme.ru/svoboda-narodnoe-tvorchestvo/porciya-otmennogo-odesskogo-yumora-1271265/

Tags

See also

New and interesting