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20 of excellent Odessa anecdotes from which ve still find yourself under the table!
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Oh, these inhabitants of Odessa finger in her mouth no luggage ... bitten off at the elbow! Site publishes a selection of sparkling humor of Odessa. - Monechka, my dear, tell me, do you remember when you decided to marry me
? - Of course I remember! When I learned that you have given me a bouquet sold, I immediately realized: you're just the kind of woman that I need
! ***
- Solomon Markovich, sho a mature age
? - This is the period between the end of the illusions of youth and start of old age hallucinations
. ***
- Abraham, why do not you buy a car
? - What for? When I feel good, I carries the police, and when the bad - ambulance
. ***
Rose Markovna stood in front of the supermarket and softly whispered: "Lord, help me to buy only what came ...»
***
- Zhorik on a first date:
- Oh, Rose Sigizmundovna and vie the Internet itself is not as described ...
- Yes vie drink, Zhorik, drink
! ***
- Benny, I still guarantee you sho in five years we will have a better life than in Europe
! - A sho they happen
? ***
- So, Sarah, your diet, one apple, one egg and cheese
. - Clearly, the doctor, it is before or after a meal
? ***
- Sarah, you and I married the first day, and only quarrel ...
- Tackie two years I waited for this day
! ***
"Better safe than sorry" - Moshe thought, when he runs out of ink in the pen at the time of registration in the registry office
. ***
- Sarochka, sho vie keep me for a fool ?!
- Yes, I'm your fool and do not touch
! ***
- Mom, is not shoby I'm not glad to see you, just did not have time for you to get bored ...
***
- Aunt Sonya, and Shaw is a "public opinion»
? - Public opinion - it is the opinion of those who did not ask
. ***
- My Lucy forever whining: "Mine have nothing to wear, nothing to wear mine!»
- Oh, Fima, I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let himself wears!
***
- Samuel Markovic, you're strong, you can do it
! - Jacob, I'm smart, I did not even undertake
! ***
Odessa market:
- Madam, how much is your chicken
? -. 40 hryvnia
- And so, I did not think Schaub for you bad
? ***
- Celia, you have a shred of conscience is
? - You sho, still instill
? ***
- Tell me, and I sho will still have for their selflessness
? ***
- Hello, Semen Abramovich! How's life?
- In life, of course, is not enough, but, thank God, the funeral we also can not afford ...
***
By law, Nathan Markovich has the right to work.
But he is trying not to abuse this right.
***
- Firochka and de have you been? Shaw a long time since you have not seen!
- Yes to work in Italy I went
. - Are you at least do not occur: always spoil the mood
! ***
- Oh, Rabinovich, come again! then so well without you!
via www.adme.ru/svoboda-narodnoe-tvorchestvo/porciya-otmennogo-odesskogo-yumora-1271265/
Fasting for those who have a lot of problems
Why marshmallows always consists of two parts? A pastry!