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Overheard in Odessa: 9 real dialogues that are funnier than jokes!
Still, the best humor is one that offers us life itself. Why we love overheard conversations and peeped cases, which in the end become the best anecdotes. And where are these conversations to be overheard, and to spy out these cases, if not in Odessa?! The website publishes a few of the Odessa talks from the collection of the writer Valery Hait.
Zefir.IANSA neighbor's yard, as it is then called Madam Alcohol, scary loved to boast. And here she talks about visiting her son sitting at the moment in prison for speculation:
My Senya!.. Raya, if you saw his camera! A second camera! There does not want to leave it!
***
In the Barber shop. I'm trying to guide the process. Hairdresser:
— Do not worry, we are married!
— How is it?
— It grows well!..
***
My buddy one day in September, called the Jewish center — he was some sort of document was needed. The phone was silent, then a man's voice answered:
— No one.
— Where is everybody?
— They're your Jewish New year is celebrated.
What?! How did you... Who are you?!
— I am a watchman...
***
Doctor "ambulance" told how he was once summoned to a dying old lady. Arrived, he will measure her blood pressure, trying to help. She's weakening voice:
You're a married man?
He:
— No...
She suddenly sits up quickly and cheerfully yells to her husband:
— Sam, get coffee for the doctor!
And then doctor:
— The doctor, here's what I can tell you that I have a niece...
***
The phrase, heard in the market:
— Such an interesting woman and doesn't eat cheese!
***
Privoz.
— What have you got for apples? Why are they so different?
— Why you're beautiful and I don't?!
***
Wife changed ten dollars in exchange office. The cashier says:
— What is your bill? Some she's not.
— And I, by the way, you have her to surrender and got it.
— Yes? So, I look at her face is familiar...
***
Entertainer on stage.
— This, incidentally, is a joke... No, you can not laugh! Just then not to say that the jokes were not...
***
Gave my buddy a funny story. He tells her otherwise.
— Wait, there it was not so!
Later.
— Why?!
— I already had it...
Odessa beach. On the couch lies a man, reading a newspaper. To him comes an elderly man, carefully eyeing.
— Excuse me, are you by chance the son of a Lion Markovic?
— No.
— But you look so much like Leo was. Probably, you are still his son...
— I said no!
— Strange, you just copy Lev Markovich. Admit it — you're his son.
— Leave me alone!
The man moves away, but still comes back.
Sorry, I understand that tired, but I think you guys are kidding me. Of course, you are the son of Leo Markowitz!
He wearily:
— Well, I'll ask my mom...
From: Valery Hait. "Share a joke. Selections from the heard"
via izbrannoe.com/news/yumor/podslushano-v-odesse/
Zefir.IANSA neighbor's yard, as it is then called Madam Alcohol, scary loved to boast. And here she talks about visiting her son sitting at the moment in prison for speculation:
My Senya!.. Raya, if you saw his camera! A second camera! There does not want to leave it!
***
In the Barber shop. I'm trying to guide the process. Hairdresser:
— Do not worry, we are married!
— How is it?
— It grows well!..
***
My buddy one day in September, called the Jewish center — he was some sort of document was needed. The phone was silent, then a man's voice answered:
— No one.
— Where is everybody?
— They're your Jewish New year is celebrated.
What?! How did you... Who are you?!
— I am a watchman...
***
Doctor "ambulance" told how he was once summoned to a dying old lady. Arrived, he will measure her blood pressure, trying to help. She's weakening voice:
You're a married man?
He:
— No...
She suddenly sits up quickly and cheerfully yells to her husband:
— Sam, get coffee for the doctor!
And then doctor:
— The doctor, here's what I can tell you that I have a niece...
***
The phrase, heard in the market:
— Such an interesting woman and doesn't eat cheese!
***
Privoz.
— What have you got for apples? Why are they so different?
— Why you're beautiful and I don't?!
***
Wife changed ten dollars in exchange office. The cashier says:
— What is your bill? Some she's not.
— And I, by the way, you have her to surrender and got it.
— Yes? So, I look at her face is familiar...
***
Entertainer on stage.
— This, incidentally, is a joke... No, you can not laugh! Just then not to say that the jokes were not...
***
Gave my buddy a funny story. He tells her otherwise.
— Wait, there it was not so!
Later.
— Why?!
— I already had it...
Odessa beach. On the couch lies a man, reading a newspaper. To him comes an elderly man, carefully eyeing.
— Excuse me, are you by chance the son of a Lion Markovic?
— No.
— But you look so much like Leo was. Probably, you are still his son...
— I said no!
— Strange, you just copy Lev Markovich. Admit it — you're his son.
— Leave me alone!
The man moves away, but still comes back.
Sorry, I understand that tired, but I think you guys are kidding me. Of course, you are the son of Leo Markowitz!
He wearily:
— Well, I'll ask my mom...
From: Valery Hait. "Share a joke. Selections from the heard"
via izbrannoe.com/news/yumor/podslushano-v-odesse/
