Afraid of sarcasm - or foot to Odessa

Probably no other city so do not laugh at themselves and each other, in Odessa. Odessans witty answer and release caustic comments at every opportunity. And even if they scold or argue, it is more like a verbal fencing - in such cases it is important not to hurt the enemy, and how you can answer a catty

Website with pleasure publishes colorful portion of Odessa. . dialogue, which combines humor, sarcasm and wisdom



Celia dictates neighbor cake recipe:
- So, write to: take 4 eggs ...
- Yeah, so, I write 2 ...
- Sofa! Write 4! The recipe was 8 -! Madam, why you did not eat anything
? - That figure
shore. - Sho you to save your figure, you need to eat, eat and eat Inspector stops racing "Volga»
!. - Driver, why not burn taillights
? The driver jumps out of the car and starts running around, uttering terrible cries.
- Okay, - calms Inspector - so do not worry, it's nothing
! - Good trifle! Where trailed the van? Where is my Sarah? Where children -? Oh wei! Five bags dragging, little Sophie! And sho you bought on Privoz?
- 20 kilos is not your business





- Fima, we still go on vacation <! br> - And where is it, if not a secret
? - We go to where "all inclusive" - ​​to my mother At the pharmacy:!
- Abram Moiseevich, you have no chance of potassium permanganate
? - No, Israel Markovich! But there is very fresh cyanide.
- Well, it's a significant difference
! - Oh, do not tell me! Only 20 cents -! Rozochka say your Izzy runs for beautiful girls
. - Oh, did I beg you! My dog ​​runs after a beautiful car, but that does not mean sho when catch up, she sits behind the wheel -! Abram, can I use your mower
? - Yes, Moishe, but only within the limits of my site Odessa Library:
. - Give the book of complaints
! - "Mumu" approach? Or plaintively?







-? Rose, how are you doing
- Yes * full
opa! - And Shaw, but problems with the figure, nothing new Odessa family collects a basket of cakes Odessa Little Red Riding Hood and gives her farewell:
? - Taki listen here. When you come to the grandmother, she immediately you will still be crying: "Oh wei, winter soon, from crevices blowing valve leaks, flushing nothing, the roof sprung a leak, there is no money at all, and, in general, sho you, granddaughter, you know for this ? life "But you still do not listen, and firmly stand on its: cabbage - 5, with meat - 8 - Can you imagine Sarah gave to a newspaper ad:" Mature temperamental woman ready to make heat and light in your life. »
- And a lot of offers
? - Only one. From the local power plant.







Arkady Samuilovich ppistalno pazglyadyvaet novyyu sekpetapshy.
- Chetvepo children - govopit emy on yho Head of kadpov
. - Do not be! At such a young and finally arrived chetvepo children ?!
- Not y it - you -. Moiseevna Bella, why are you a second time is not married
? - You know, I have a dog which growls, a parrot who repeats my words, a fireplace that smokes, and a cat who walks at night. Do you think that this is not enough Do odessite ask:?
- Do you have 6 apples. If you give half brother, how many remain?
- Taki 5-a-half

.





- Basia, get up! You're left to work for half an hour!
- Sam, I could not wake up early? I painted only 40 minutes is necessary!
- While you were sleeping, I've already nakrasili Odessa complains to a friend:
! - My Fira forever whining: "Mine have nothing to wear, nothing to wear mine!»
- Oh, Bob! I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let myself is! Odessa. Starokon market.
- Madam, buy cat
! - And what he
breed? -. Siberian
- It can not be, it is wool short
! - Madam, I will still not say anything of his hair, but he only eats dumplings

!





- Yasha, do you think the baby start to Sarochka
? - Oh, Mom, I'm about this every night I think
. - A Sarochka
? - And from this Sarochka even every time a headache. She says that her work on this better think -. Listen Lyudmilochka sho Aunt Celia has to tell of these men. They give us candy, chocolate is different, then outraged, we polneem sho! It would have gave us only some diamonds - and we would still sparkled! Odessa Yard:
- Arkady, home
- Am I cold
? - No, you want to eat

!



- Aunt, sho you so long to getting married
? - I did not take Hikto
. - And Shaw, you're all asking Intelligent Odessa family?. Evening. The wife of the third hour of playing the cello. Male, looking up from the magazine:
- Well, Lilechka, stop! Buy we'll these Italian boots Odessans after a trip to Paris friends are asked to share their impressions:!
- Well, there, in Paris, tell
? - What can I say? Remember, Zhora on the "Mona Lisa" hung kitchen?
- We remember, of course
! - So now it is in the Louvre



! Preview: Wladimir Lyubarov





via www.lubarov.ru/