How to distinguish healthy from the sick love

The most dangerous bug love addiction - that feeling that the beloved -. The only pleasure in life

Abandon pleasure - then voluntarily agree to vegetate somewhere near the bottom. Who would want to? Most will fight to the last, even in the closed door to knock, so as not to lose the buzz.

In fact, there is no buzz. Is the stress of weaning. There is the pain of separation. There is a fear at the thought of losing. And there is no buzz. This is the main sign of addiction. It does not bring pleasure. Only briefly relieved dose. And a new round of suffering.




Do thrill junkie Gets? No, the buzz he got, until it was a drug addict. Then the drug was for him a means to remove the break-up or get rid of the blues.

Alcohol for alcoholic - a way to stop the withdrawal symptoms or the apathy in which lives an alcoholic in the complication. The pleasure of the alcohol N alcoholics. Once it was available, but alcoholics if they were not.

Food addict does not enjoy the meal. Enjoy gourmet food. Gourmets are not addicts, as if getting cease to be gourmets.

Stress cancellation is experienced in all addicts, and love addicts too. Interact with your favorite addicts need to relieve stress, come in relative balance.

Due to the fact that people do not understand this, they stubbornly believe addiction with something good. Dangerous but beautiful.

Even I was in a hurry to please the many statements in the PM: "Evolution! I have an addiction to your blog. »

They think that their addiction - a direct proof that my blog is good. Although this is proof that they have all the bad: the legs a little, will not do in life nothing. Either they were joking because, having no addiction. But then this means that they do not understand the meaning of the word.

Addiction to something means that at the separation from you this so bad and sad, that you strive for it on any terms. Are you ready to make many sacrifices, as long as it does not lose. But not because it is fun, but because without it you're stressed or depressed.

See addict afraid of losing an idol, because there is nothing that would help him feel comfortable. No audio support, and those that have - are very weak. Maybe before, and were, and now there is.

Addiction - this is very bad not only for the addict, but also, in whom he is in love

. This is another myth: that it's fine to be in addiction to each other. I recently read a book, not the most stupid, they say, love - this mutual addiction. Yes, God forbid.

Firstly, mutual addiction is not seen.
Secondly, in those rare cases when mutual addiction happens, it is damaging to both.

And now, these two point, I will explain in detail to make it clear that such a love addiction.

Why mutual addiction is not seen?

Addiction - it's stress cancel. The sense of panic at the threat of separation. If both love one another, they quickly give each other confidence in the stability and fidelity. No acute anxiety, there is a painful and constant attention, constant worries and doubts. No stress and no addiction. A man confident lover, calm and it could go about their business. So mutual affection brings both joy and encouragement to pump stimulates other resources, and does not absorb all the forces and all the energy of a black hole. Addiction - this is vampiric hole. A normal love - a powerful support.



Occasionally it does occur mutual addiction. This happens, for example, when two people meet in a state of crisis or the energy pit and become each other antidepressants, painkillers, drugs. They want each other more and more, they are all the time is not enough. Subjectively, they may feel that they have for each other kicks, but in fact as an alcoholic overturns glass after glass, a food addict eats a plate of a plate, not chasing the high, but only because that stress is reduced to a few minutes, further back again, and with renewed vigor, and the need to constantly "catch up", and they are. Not fun motivates them and escape from distress. Running in circles. Addiction - is running in a circle

! Why two such addict destroy each other in a mutual pursuit of a dose? They are always satisfied. They are hungry. Think food addict loves food? He hates it. He depends on it and so eager to freedom, but is afraid to break away and die. And a love addict. When a loved one avoids it, he pursues or illusions, to reduce stress cancel. And if the second - too addict, both can torment each other in an attempt to get more love

. These addicts can have sex until complete exhaustion, or try to get into each other's soul dissected conversations, but most importantly, they are trying to sever ties with the world, so that no drop of their attention not getting someone else. They help each other to hurry to destroy the resources, and if the resources are not too prokachany, they are quite easily and begin to melt.

Most often it is not soon enough energy from each other, especially with reduced resources, and they find some joint addiction. Once I saw a couple of addicts who grown fat and 100 kg for a couple of years, and at the beginning of love were slim. Often these addicts are beginning to drink or sit down to some mystic cause spirits and save the world in the astral wars, play virtual games, hit a religion to fanaticism, looking for something that might give them an additional source of energy without going into the world because the world is dangerous, it can separate them. Sometimes they give birth to children, and it can be a good outcome, if as a result of their addiction is reduced, but if they are addicts, children grow up in an atmosphere of social exclusion and are a continuation of the merger of the parent.

I beg you not to start a song in the comments about how the fear of addiction you become frustrantami. Frustration - no less severe case. Both are talking about a weak ego and weak resources. Which way motnet, is not so important, ideally, should be a balance and equilibrium, one extreme is not better than another. Balance provides a strong ego, not weak in the shell frozen, and a strong and open to the world. But in this case it is an addiction.

The healthy love is different from the patient?

However, a healthy love does not take away from you the world, and helps you to master the world. You get an extra incentive to study, work, engage in health and beauty, you are new interests, new friends, expand horizons, new opportunities. This is - a healthy love. It makes you stronger.



The patient takes the love you have everything you loved and appreciated. The fact that you love, it is you. The more that you love, the more your identity is multifaceted. If you talk about bad habits, well, if they will be less because of love. But bad, bad habits if you start to seem useful things: communication with family, sport, your work, my friends. If instead of the old, new friends, this may be a good idea, but be careful if they are friends, whether you are a friend to them yours, or your mate is friends, and you - the annex thereto. The same goes for your hobbies. If they have changed for the better good. But try to notice if it is your passion. Or keen on all your spouse, and you - the assistant behind the scenes and appreciative audience.

Ideally, you should multiply what has been, not to lose and replace it with a new one. Something may be irrelevant, but if happens to you "complete regeneration", do not hurry to rejoice "new birth", think about it, you were bad, you have to change completely. Maybe you just lose yourself, lose support proven time and gain visibility of belonging to your loved one? Imagine that it has disappeared from your life. Will you just interested in everything what you do with it now? Whether new friends Survives? New habits? If not, you're likely to become empty inside, losing all that was new and did not get, only an appearance. And your life absorbs addiction.

Soon it turns out that you no longer like and a half. Let people not attractive because it does not have energy, but only absorb it: pull the attention, and in return give nothing, they have nothing. So from them quickly begin to back away and run away quickly when they become completely empty.

Take care of yourself. Fill. Fill yourself with sparkling vitamins (stimuli) and useful material (resources).

Status addiction familiar? Not necessarily love. Anyone.

Author: Marina Komissarova