20 sobering things that we need to understand Bashny.Net

Doctor of Sociology, Adam Sanford responded to the question of what we mean when grow up. And we grow up not in terms that reach a certain age society framework from which to start growing up and getting older really psychologically.

And the sooner you realize this, the sooner grow up really ...




1. You will be harder and harder to move away from their parents. They will still want you to have done so, as they say. This is normal and not to anything you do not oblige. In every man's life there comes a time when he actually realizes that he needs to be better than his parents.

2. You are not the center of the universe. And he had never been.

3. There are people who saw your suffering, to remain indifferent, or decide that you deserve it, or experience pleasure from it.

4. Nobody is obliged to assist you.

5. You do not need to maintain a relationship with someone who hurt you, even if it is a relative or spouse. Even if this person is up to you. You are free to choose.

6. If you are arguing a lot of people about the same things - the problem is you. My friend put it this way: if someone tells you that you are a donkey - you can not ignore. But if six or eight sane people agree that you are a donkey - it's time to fall in love with a carrot

. 7. The fact that you are an adult and you have your own life and their own problems, do not give you the right to ignore the suffering of others. Mature people do not think only of themselves. Leave the selfishness of youth.

8. Man is manifested in communion with those whose location can not use. The ratio of service personnel to talk about your personal qualities much more than that, how do you deal with the head.

9. If you have to choose between raising and friendship, friendship choose.

10. If you want to make a better world, start with yourself.

11. Sometimes, you are helping someone, and it helps to answer, but it does not always happen. Sometimes a person has no such opportunity. Or he does not realize it. Someone hard to admit that he needed help. Doing good, no need to wait for the same response: otherwise it is blackmail, not aid

. 12. People will disagree with you. People will dislike you. But also there will be those who understands you and loves. Communicate a lot - with those to whom you are pleasant, and some - those who are not. To complete the picture.

13. Many people your age have not yet learned these truths. It does not release you from the obligation to behave like an adult. Someone he had never become, but not you.

14. Sometimes you open another person's eyes to something. This may put an end to an old friend, because no one likes to learn. It requires honesty - above all with oneself; efforts to change, and the courage to bear it. Do not provoke, but be prepared for the fact that the understanding of simple truths and following them can make you a lever that will change someone's world view. Sometimes you have to just make a person sober up and come back down to earth.

15. You do not need to see the malice that can be easily explained by stupidity and ignorance.

16. Sometimes you have to be "experience" for someone nice to you or not. Take this most patiently and responsibly. You can be for someone else. The first person of a different nationality, bald, with tattoos, a Muslim or a stripper. And they will stick with the questions that seem silly, meaningless or even offensive. Nevertheless, at this point you - their first "experience". You have the opportunity to have a positive impact on them, pointing to something that they do not know.

17. Trust is not only boundless. I can trust someone the keys to the house while I'm on vacation. But if I know, that this man does not like children, with his I did not leave.

18. Try not to forget that such compassion. Sometimes it's hard, but still very important; too many have forgotten what it is.

19. It would be desirable to help solve the problems of the other fail. The maximum that the best you can - send in the right direction, and give help when asked. But you can not force a person to follow the advice and go in the right direction. Our desire to help can be limitless, but the opportunity - very limited

. 20. Only when the value of the other person clearly and directly harm you, you can claim that he refused them. Otherwise - take it and do not dwell. It would be better for both of you.