You chose it myself! Bashny.Net

First I want to say that the greater the lie does not exist in nature than the phrase "It's not your fault!". You have to be unconditional and unrestrained fool to believe it.

Sweetheart, that he had gone from you - completely your fault. Yes, guilty, perhaps, in this too, but his guilt is certainly not more than yours.

"This rascal has found another woman!" - Yelled that you have become a reproach and urine latest abusive words, which up to this in your lexicon, and it was not

. A wise man, to whose opinion I always implicitly (for some reason) listening, said to me: "The little girl, with whom he fell in love, is not the cause but the consequence." Thousand devils! Exactly! The annoying and painful bullseye, but the very essence.

The cause of separation is always deeper - that is what led to the change, what has led to the loss of interest, then, because of what happened to the crisis, which could not survive. Therefore, stop squealing and angry at the scoundrel, traitor and find among other crap guilt and make himself a colorful tattoo on the brain in the form of invaluable experience.




1. You lost yourself

Do you devote to it and you more time than imagined. Everything that once filled your life and make you the one who you are gone by the wayside, and maybe all it took. Why meet with friends, go to the mountains, read a favorite author in a favorite café and spend a lot of time for shopping, if you can sit on the couch with him and watch football? But with him, but the next. But he is, and you do not. You're sitting with him, and he with someone?

Why would anyone? You have no right to lose his "I", the "I", for which he once loved you. You have no right to deploy all my life 180 degrees in its direction or one relationship in the world do not. You have no right to abandon myself and love it to such an extent that the stop loving myself.

2. You overfeed him

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" - he said once a hungry man or a very stupid woman, and you're in this sacred trust. If there is no food at home, it is a catastrophe of global scale, and if he went to work without the cutlets in a container, then the universe. And so do you feel about everything. Your goal in life now - is to provide him with maximum comfort, even at the expense of what you want

. And your biggest sadness undervalued. Because happiness formula works with precision but on the contrary. Doing something for the man, you increase its value only in his own eyes. The relationship should be comfortable - this is an absolute truth. But, my dear, to be comfortable for both partners. Otherwise, to whom and why do we need such a relationship?

Understand: favorite women do not change, but even the best and professional housekeeper can be fired for the inexperienced, but a pretty maid.

3. You still poreshat

You decide what and when to eat and drink to him. You decide with whom to be friends and how often to visit the parents. You decide what it should look and what to read. You decide what to put on it. You decide where he was working. You decide when, where and with whom to have a rest. You decide in what position I prefer him to get up.

May I ask? What the devil do you think this is appropriate behavior? Because you know better? And as soon as he rose to his age and matured as a person without your brilliant solutions? And you are aware that he is able to make their own decisions? Do you think that is not able to? So you are very surprised when he accepts adult and balanced, and most importantly - the right decision to get away from you. I respect him and his opinion.

Listen to what he says. Make decisions together. Otherwise, why are you with someone whose views are diametrically opposed to your opinion which you may set at naught, and think that he is a priori can not be right?

4. You Controller

Detained at work? So be kind to provide a detailed report with receipts, statements of calls and SMS and release pockets. Go to the sauna with friends, well, you just have a new swimsuit. You know all his passwords from social networks, your fingerprint is suitable to his iPhone, and calls and sms you synchronized?

Full trust - you say, complete idiocy - I'll tell you. What could be more loathsome phrase "I otproshus his wife" or "I allowed him"? Maybe even a chain to put him, and in the evening to walk in the park? The man appreciates freedom. The man the word "heel" more offensive than "doves." It is not your property. Woman uymis, we live in a free country. Let him know you that you respect his desire to be alone with him, or chat with friends.

What are you stuck to him like a thorn thistles? Thistle difficult to pull out, especially if he was in the hair, and cut out its quite disappointing, but only desire a person in relation to the thistle -. Get rid of it

5. You - saw

Monotone grazing brains small spoon - a complex and deadly method of torture, but more loyal than ever to cut the elect. An endless stream of claims for everything and everything in the world. Tell me, how can you be unhappy with literally everything?

You do not like the way he dresses, how to treat you, how it behaves in the company of friends, he said, and as the breathing, and you think about their sacred duty to say this to him. And to hell with tact, shoot from the hip and does not mince words - the most it! Zagnobit can even the most confident person, but then what to do with it? You are destroying his self-esteem and belief in themselves.

Do you want to assert themselves - go to run, leave the man alone. Respect his choice. He - your pride, support and maintenance. He is a person with whom you share life. Emphasize its dignity and stop poking his nose into a puddle like a kitten. Kitten even just sneaker shit can and humiliated man can and soul.

6. You're cheating

No, at this point it is not so obvious. Of course, if you change, then sooner or later it will all know and go, but now is not about that. You're always trying to change it. You do not want to put up with its shortcomings and make him change. In the name of love! And you yourself love him?

You take it for what it is? Why did you choose the person who is so much you do not like? It is important to understand that motivate and support - this one, and to put an ultimatum - that's different. Most heavy smokers with lung cancer do not stop smoking until the very end.

You just think about it, life threatening for them to lack of motivation, but for you your 100% cast. He will throw, not smoking, and you. And no, not for a cigarette, but for women, which will take it for what it is. And, perhaps even her quit smoking. Remember, people change very rarely, and the requirements in the sharp form in no way will bring you to the desired.

7. You log

Oh, dear! Sorry! Who else do you say to that? Yes, you log. Because even if you know a couple of killer techniques and wear stockings on Fridays, all this sooner or later get bored. Priest will be worse than a bitter radish.

My good, it's far and not all the reasons why he abandoned you. They pretty much just these 7 reasons I understood and to hurt one's eyes are clear, it would be nice to be so for you.

There is always the temptation to shift the blame on him, saying that he had not developed, constantly lying, drank, loved the former, yes, it's very, very bad things, which of course he is guilty, but ...

You yourself chose him, you did not notice she or did not want to notice the alarm bells. It's your choice, and the blame for it you can only itself. Loud and not really the right word "blame", just realize your mistakes, painful bumps spread iodine and finally stop stepping on the same rake. Good you.

Author: Anna Nechaev