There is a kind of psychological protection from the pain - to refuse what you hold dear and important, and "bury" a person an idea, a dream, relationship
What for? "To have otplakat, otgorevat to otbolelo too and died. Why pull, if all goes to this ?! »
Pre-mount - a staged tragedy without grieving the subject. No one has died, did not leave, the relationship did not explode, many ideas have a chance of survival, and the dream has not waved wings, and the person has refused - "Everything will be enough! Let's say good-bye! »
In grief may be the real reason - a close seriously ill, the diagnosis is made, the days are numbered -rodstvenniki begin to "make a dead man", although people still alive
But it also happens that a bad outcome - this is just one option. but the man was stopped on it.
"I better myself right now to hurt than to hurt me then make someone else.»
"I'll rip your own song from the heart. Give up the idea, I bury the dream. Otgoryuyu all this and thereby protecting their dream of "abuse" of pain and disappointment. »
Kill that more lively and can live, give up the struggle, from the relationship, to bury and cry - that's a way to protect against possible loss severity experiences
At this point, past loss experience eclipses the eye so that the person does not distinguish between what is happening now, and that was then.
Where is reality and where fantasies about it.
The voices of the past begin to sound in my head, playing over and over again, what has been, it was very painful! .... Therefore, if there is any threat of loss - give up! Give up now! Next will be even harder!
"It does not hurt much and wanted to" - tell someone and instantly devalue all that was so important and valuable just now. "I do not need all this. And without it the people live, and I live "and thus veto on the mountain -. Silly to cry over what you do not need
And someone says, "I was very necessary and important, and I wanted this badly, but he or Big evil people take that away from me.»
Who has taken away? Is this true?
No one takes often. Perhaps, and I was not going to. But the man refused to advance from any possible struggle, the backlog of their interests, talk about what "is important to me, it is very important and I will try a hundred fiftieth time»
None of us is immune from the pain of loss.
Life is very unpredictable thing.
But if you think that the rejection of what is important to you - it's a great insurance against possible losses, relax, you take the bonus of grief more than it might be in reality
It will be interesting:
Turn the tide in their favor: how to respond to bias
Do not put off for later life
It is better to gain experience wins.
How do you like this idea?
Or are you afraid that you will turn out? What relationship will grow together, the idea works out, a dream come true, and the project is still being implemented?
After advance and refuse to say goodbye - it is not so much to protect themselves from the pain of loss, it will still have to worry about how much the possibility that it still held - people will survive, the relationship will be a dream realized, and the project will work
What do you this in this frightening, it's better to give up the entrance, than to take the risk?
This is what I propose to consider.
Author: Irina Dybov