Men don't cry as teaching suggestion the children

Rarely crying boys, whose parents taught in a difficult situation — to act. Often cry those children who don't know what to do.

The boy fell, hit hard knee, and then sits, it rubs. — "Poor thing, it hurts, go I'll regret!" — wailed the grandmother, and the baby cried. When regret, want to cry and feel poor. Women love to care about children and accidents, like regret, but the result of this feminine education of a girl, not a boy.






Watch how your children are doing, when during the game, something hurt. Cry do they? — Yes, if there is a mother. If there mother or grandmother, the child cries and runs to her to regret. If mom or grandmother there, when children play alone, crying sounds surprisingly rare. Hit — rubbed his knee, well want to is ran on. Play!

The suggestion that the boys "Men don't cry" — not a ban of emotions in General, and teaching the culture and habits of the future men. Women's fears "This will lead to suppression of emotions and the child will grow up emotionless" — empty. If the parents explain to the child that the iron sticks to fight is impossible, it's not a prohibition movements in General and it does not lead to physical retardation of the child. Our children can and should be alive and emotional, but the feelings of helplessness and self-pity hardly should be the main notes in the scale and emotional experiences of our children.

Have good parents there is a simple rule: "If you need help — say, we'll be sure to help. But if you cry — how we can help you? Stop crying and tell me what you wanted!". This rule establishes a normal communication between children and parents, and children is emotional pressure on the parents start them to talk about their problems and their desires.

Children are crying not just from pain, they cry for adults to regret. Only later, with time, they begin to cry, not adults, themselves, begin to feel sorry for themselves.

Psychologists have taught this course in child psychology: "Activity shared between adult and child, eventually the child interiorizes and becomes his personal".

Actually, why not to cry if you want, but you ready to regret? Why not cry if you're a kid? Why not cry for life, if the model of female behavior to cry when meeting with a terrible and difficult — right? Women cry, because next to them there are men who will hear them and protect them. But if the moment is scary and difficult, the man instead of the woman starts to cry, the woman will remain vulnerable. The woman will remain without a man.

"Cry, cry, it will be easier!" — tell grandma your grandchildren: there is a normal training for girls to the norms of female behavior. "Men don't cry" — the fathers say to their sons, so that they do not become a crybaby.

In this case, as in any learning situation, the teaching assignment should be feasible: if the situation for the boy too unexpected and difficult father in this situation would say nothing and just hug crying son. Men grow up immediately, to demand all at once is impossible. But remember the direction is necessary: "Men do not cry." Men must act, and not to worry. Men should be strong, and even their tears when something needs to empower themselves, and their surroundings.

Do not demand from our grandmothers so they can tell their favorite vocalcom: "Stop crying, you're the man!" — when the baby is crying and plaintively looks at her with plaintive eyes, grandma is to say it is not. But if male education is male, the father, it should be supported. I want to believe that our women are married to men with adequate whom to entrust the education of children. Be happy if each boy can have a father — a real man, with whom he wants to follow the example. Men should be strong, that women were happy.

Of course, if the child had hurt and resentment cried a little, nothing serious, it's not hysterical, and that's fine. But it is not great. But if we plan to live to the max and just raise our children, then no hard feelings and no tears. Real men don't behave that way, and so, the boys should learn the same.

It is clear that you need to consider age features. To years the child is only an honest cry, but after a year the situation is more complicated: the child masters both instrumental and manipulative crying. If the child is crying just from the pain, it's perfectly normal to take on his hands, on his hands, he will calm down faster. If the little one wants something and is crying about it, calmly ask him what he wants, even if the hand or the direction of view will tell you in a year and a half it is time children to teach. But if he yells, just achieving his goal, don't react or try to distract or wrong, if the child will get used you to command. And to talk to the child, the boy isn't supposed to cry, of course is later, the theme of "you're not a girl of 3 years is not relevant.

By the way, about girls, what do you think how to treat pay the girls? Them cry? How much? Why? According to the information I have, in former time at the Institute for noble maidens cry girls was indecent. It's just bad form, it's like you peasants. Fainting was allowed, and cry — no. And then educated girl did not cry, even when it was difficult and painful... But still: what do you think? How can we educate our children? Boys? Girls?

источник:psychologos.ru

Source: /users/1077

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