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Steven Cohen: 11 things you should know every parent
It is important to know every parent! Article by Dr. Steven Cohen, a pediatrician with 25 years of experience, which will help you to a completely different way to look at the overall picture of the health of children!
After 25 years of practice in the field of pediatrics and communicating with thousands of children, I was able to notice some again and again recurring problem, which allowed me to completely different look at the overall picture of the health of children, and to take from all this is very valuable lessons, some of which you will find in this article:
1. The growth and development of the child - not a competition
Nowadays, many parents want their children grew up as quickly as possible. But living in the modern post-industrial world, obsessed with speed and efficiency, we begin to forget that life is a lot like the ripening of fruits. To the fruit was mellow, mellow, and in every sense of the word excellent, from the tree on which it grows, should be strong, deep roots, and plenty of nutrients. Therefore, try to pay more attention to the soil, feed your child's life: go with him for a walk, take along with them food, play with him ... and if he is old enough, tell us how was your childhood
<. br> 2. Family tradition as nothing but contribute to a happy and healthy life
Yes, to create them you need a lot of time and perseverance. But the result is more than worth it. Family tradition often become almost sacred, and rightly so, as they promote it to communicate and pastime that strengthen family bonds of love and affection. And they, in turn, will remain with your child throughout his life, to protect him from many hardships.
3. Our life is spiraling
In the life of every child's own rhythm and tact - sometimes fast and loud, sometimes slow and quiet. And just as each spring brings us a renewed sense of the value of our lives, every new life stage carries the child new discoveries and wonders. After learning something new - not only the accumulation of information. This process of rethinking the process of transforming our knowledge into something new, and at times to look at something fresh eyes, we have to forget about it. That is why some children sometimes have to step back a little, to make a huge leap forward.
Our life is a spiral, and it primarily means that we have more of a chance to learn something. With each new stage of life we are faced with the same lessons in new guises - again and again. And so be lenient with your children without insisting that they all certainly "did everything right" the first time.
4. Promotion - not the same thing as forgiveness
We raise children rather than little princes and princesses. Princes at all easy to live in a modern society. Recent studies have shown that the permissiveness not only is your child benefit, but also weakens their self-sufficiency, as well as depriving them of motivation and desire to succeed.
Encourage your children - so give them strength and desire to do something on their own, and do everything for them. Surround them your support, opening the way for their development, but do not push for one of them. Sincere, undivided love - is what gives your child the desire to take risks, experiment and even make mistakes, knowing that you do not put a bug in his guilt. Sometimes encourage the child - then step back a little to the side, being always ready to give him a helping hand, but believing that he can handle himself
. Promotion can lead to something great, and often results. Forgiveness, on the contrary, inflates a sense of the importance of the child, at the same time depriving it of determination and desire to overcome obstacles in cases where it is not immediately gets the desired. Forgiveness leads to pettiness of thought and action.
5. Your best teacher on the path to enlightenment - your own child
If you want to achieve enlightenment, not necessarily to be removed for this purpose in a remote ashram. Your little sage mentor already next to you, and he is willing to share his wisdom with you for free!
In early childhood, our children are watching our every move. Trying to understand this strange and crazy world, they study us and our weaknesses - and then play them on the way it is able to do small children only. And when the child once again brings you to the white-hot, remember - your anger origins lie not in the child's soul, but in yours. So, try to calm down, think and understand what your child is trying to teach you. One of the secrets of successful parents - the desire for the love of their children samih.I change yourself when you seek to understand what the buttons on your soul plays a child, thus you consciously want to do better both your own life and the life of your child
6. Symptom - the way our body tell us that you need to change something
The good doctor, faced with the symptom, does not seek to suppress it - instead he asks him what he means. Our bodies are pretty smart, and much we can tell - if we do not kupimsya on convictions pharmaceutical companies telling us that the symptoms - it is something bad, in need of suppression. A fair part of my medical training was precisely how to get rid of the symptoms that the problem in them (it's like asking the body to shut up - and just as rude). This is the problem. We do not trust the intelligence of our body. We have too much of everything we think, and we are afraid to feel our body.
But the children have taught me that one symptom, like fever - not a problem. What causes it, can be a problem, it may not be, but the heat - just the body's way to tell us that it is trying to cope with what is happening
. Take, for example, a child with a fever. What else had the symptoms? If he still wants to run and play, what to try to bring down a fever? After all, it just means that the body needs extra heat to mobilize the immune system. So help him in this - let the baby more warm, but in any case not cold fluids to avoid dehydration, and nutritious food to throw more "wood" in the body of the fire
. 7. Be prepared
This old motto of the Boy Scouts organization has remained with me all my life. This state of readiness, fueled by confidence, not fear.
I am currently in place to prevent medical practice what I call "medical readiness." I do not think ill of something to blame. Being healthy - does not mean never get sick. Life - it is an endless series of ups and downs, in particular - the lives of children. And to the immune system of the child has become a truly strong, it needs to learn and how to be sick, and how to recover. Too much protecting children against disease, we deprive them of the ability to recover.
Instead of having to live in constant fear of sickness, be prepared if something happens to help him recover, providing it with enhanced nutrition, probiotics, adequate rest and stress. And most importantly, instead of being sad when your child is sick, rejoice when he recovers.
8. Healing takes time
Most of the alternative medicine practiced by me does not act immediately. We are addicted to the rapid healing because we do not have time to get sick. During my teaching medicine I sometimes felt that I prepared from a fire in a white robe, trained as quickly as possible to fill the fire disease.
Yes, some diseases are comparable to the fire and to extinguish them, we need a strong and effective medication, but most of the health problems of children towards them in any way does not belong. In these cases, for the treatment of small potent drugs - and it takes the right time. Yes, the need for time off from work just because your child was sent home from school with a cold, adds stress to our already full of them their lives. But it is the children taught me that healing, as in our lives, there are certain stages through which it is not necessary to try to jump.
When we do not give the body to recover from an illness, we deprive it of the opportunity to learn what is needed to create a stable and long-lasting health. But if we allow the body to recover from an illness, the disease is not just something that is necessary to survive, but also a time of discovery for him. And it helps us to understand that health and disease - are just two sides of the same coin
. 9. Learning to live - is the ability to let
With every moment of our lives, it includes something new, and goes something old. Learn to let go. Good things survivors during their use and beauty, becoming something else. Just as spring became summer and summer - autumn, each of your child's development stages is replaced by the new and old leaves forever. From crawling to walking, he passes. From ugukanya - to the speech. Childhood gives way to adolescence. Breathing in, you can not breathe. And all eaten sooner or later leave our body.
Every season, every step, every tiny piece of our life we learn to be able to let go. This allows us to get rid of what we do not need to make our life a place for new information and experiences. Yes, let go - not so easy, that's why every child makes it his own way, and in your chered.Priroda loves diversity, and your child is unique. Appreciate it.
Perhaps one of the most unexpected and important ways in which children learn to be able to let go of me - their games. After all, any game - is primarily a "tempered" constraints. Game frees us and helps us to concern ourselves not so serious.
10. Trust yourself. You know your child better than anyone else
The most important thing I can teach new parents - the ability to trust ourselves. No wonder the unseen and grander than the phenomenon in this world of new life. We think that we know everything about it, what you need - and there is not at least we feel as if we know nothing. But the children have taught me that it is a state in which we know and at the same time everything and nothing - a great opportunity to develop our powers of intuition
. Good parents begin with the fact that your child open heart, and I listened to his life without fear or paniki.Issledovaniya show that in the domain of the problem with the child mother's intuition can furnish many times any laboratory tests. Unfortunately, our current life is so full of frightening us with information that it prevents us to use intuition. Think of at least about doctors who behave as if they know your children better than you do!
Listen for your baby. Look into his eyes. Try to feel what it is - to be in this world in full consciousness to the acquisition of language, do not know about all those labels, frightening us, and we share the world into good and bad, good and evil. Infants do not have enemies. They behold the root. They have what Zen Buddhists call "beginner mind." Get accustomed to the way your child breathes the whole body - and you'll be amazed at how it is similar to the breath of Qi Gong practices. Try for a moment to interrupt the flow of your thoughts, and just breathe, imitating him. Perhaps that is how you will find so long eluded you answers.
11. Try to see the whole issue as a whole (because we all too easily fall into the trap of urgent issues, especially at 2 am)
I've seen thousands of children, gradually becoming older, and I realized that for a four-month baby or fourteen teenager seems more than life itself, in fact, turns out to be nothing more than a few bumps in the road of life. That children have taught me to look at life as a whole, rather than on the tiny segment that unfolds before us now.
And believe me, it is worth us to move back a little and take a life of our appraising look, as we understand that those wisdom and compassion, that we've been looking for all this time has been with us.
Author: Steven Cohen
After 25 years of practice in the field of pediatrics and communicating with thousands of children, I was able to notice some again and again recurring problem, which allowed me to completely different look at the overall picture of the health of children, and to take from all this is very valuable lessons, some of which you will find in this article:
1. The growth and development of the child - not a competition
Nowadays, many parents want their children grew up as quickly as possible. But living in the modern post-industrial world, obsessed with speed and efficiency, we begin to forget that life is a lot like the ripening of fruits. To the fruit was mellow, mellow, and in every sense of the word excellent, from the tree on which it grows, should be strong, deep roots, and plenty of nutrients. Therefore, try to pay more attention to the soil, feed your child's life: go with him for a walk, take along with them food, play with him ... and if he is old enough, tell us how was your childhood
<. br> 2. Family tradition as nothing but contribute to a happy and healthy life
Yes, to create them you need a lot of time and perseverance. But the result is more than worth it. Family tradition often become almost sacred, and rightly so, as they promote it to communicate and pastime that strengthen family bonds of love and affection. And they, in turn, will remain with your child throughout his life, to protect him from many hardships.
3. Our life is spiraling
In the life of every child's own rhythm and tact - sometimes fast and loud, sometimes slow and quiet. And just as each spring brings us a renewed sense of the value of our lives, every new life stage carries the child new discoveries and wonders. After learning something new - not only the accumulation of information. This process of rethinking the process of transforming our knowledge into something new, and at times to look at something fresh eyes, we have to forget about it. That is why some children sometimes have to step back a little, to make a huge leap forward.
Our life is a spiral, and it primarily means that we have more of a chance to learn something. With each new stage of life we are faced with the same lessons in new guises - again and again. And so be lenient with your children without insisting that they all certainly "did everything right" the first time.
4. Promotion - not the same thing as forgiveness
We raise children rather than little princes and princesses. Princes at all easy to live in a modern society. Recent studies have shown that the permissiveness not only is your child benefit, but also weakens their self-sufficiency, as well as depriving them of motivation and desire to succeed.
Encourage your children - so give them strength and desire to do something on their own, and do everything for them. Surround them your support, opening the way for their development, but do not push for one of them. Sincere, undivided love - is what gives your child the desire to take risks, experiment and even make mistakes, knowing that you do not put a bug in his guilt. Sometimes encourage the child - then step back a little to the side, being always ready to give him a helping hand, but believing that he can handle himself
. Promotion can lead to something great, and often results. Forgiveness, on the contrary, inflates a sense of the importance of the child, at the same time depriving it of determination and desire to overcome obstacles in cases where it is not immediately gets the desired. Forgiveness leads to pettiness of thought and action.
5. Your best teacher on the path to enlightenment - your own child
If you want to achieve enlightenment, not necessarily to be removed for this purpose in a remote ashram. Your little sage mentor already next to you, and he is willing to share his wisdom with you for free!
In early childhood, our children are watching our every move. Trying to understand this strange and crazy world, they study us and our weaknesses - and then play them on the way it is able to do small children only. And when the child once again brings you to the white-hot, remember - your anger origins lie not in the child's soul, but in yours. So, try to calm down, think and understand what your child is trying to teach you. One of the secrets of successful parents - the desire for the love of their children samih.I change yourself when you seek to understand what the buttons on your soul plays a child, thus you consciously want to do better both your own life and the life of your child
6. Symptom - the way our body tell us that you need to change something
The good doctor, faced with the symptom, does not seek to suppress it - instead he asks him what he means. Our bodies are pretty smart, and much we can tell - if we do not kupimsya on convictions pharmaceutical companies telling us that the symptoms - it is something bad, in need of suppression. A fair part of my medical training was precisely how to get rid of the symptoms that the problem in them (it's like asking the body to shut up - and just as rude). This is the problem. We do not trust the intelligence of our body. We have too much of everything we think, and we are afraid to feel our body.
But the children have taught me that one symptom, like fever - not a problem. What causes it, can be a problem, it may not be, but the heat - just the body's way to tell us that it is trying to cope with what is happening
. Take, for example, a child with a fever. What else had the symptoms? If he still wants to run and play, what to try to bring down a fever? After all, it just means that the body needs extra heat to mobilize the immune system. So help him in this - let the baby more warm, but in any case not cold fluids to avoid dehydration, and nutritious food to throw more "wood" in the body of the fire
. 7. Be prepared
This old motto of the Boy Scouts organization has remained with me all my life. This state of readiness, fueled by confidence, not fear.
I am currently in place to prevent medical practice what I call "medical readiness." I do not think ill of something to blame. Being healthy - does not mean never get sick. Life - it is an endless series of ups and downs, in particular - the lives of children. And to the immune system of the child has become a truly strong, it needs to learn and how to be sick, and how to recover. Too much protecting children against disease, we deprive them of the ability to recover.
Instead of having to live in constant fear of sickness, be prepared if something happens to help him recover, providing it with enhanced nutrition, probiotics, adequate rest and stress. And most importantly, instead of being sad when your child is sick, rejoice when he recovers.
8. Healing takes time
Most of the alternative medicine practiced by me does not act immediately. We are addicted to the rapid healing because we do not have time to get sick. During my teaching medicine I sometimes felt that I prepared from a fire in a white robe, trained as quickly as possible to fill the fire disease.
Yes, some diseases are comparable to the fire and to extinguish them, we need a strong and effective medication, but most of the health problems of children towards them in any way does not belong. In these cases, for the treatment of small potent drugs - and it takes the right time. Yes, the need for time off from work just because your child was sent home from school with a cold, adds stress to our already full of them their lives. But it is the children taught me that healing, as in our lives, there are certain stages through which it is not necessary to try to jump.
When we do not give the body to recover from an illness, we deprive it of the opportunity to learn what is needed to create a stable and long-lasting health. But if we allow the body to recover from an illness, the disease is not just something that is necessary to survive, but also a time of discovery for him. And it helps us to understand that health and disease - are just two sides of the same coin
. 9. Learning to live - is the ability to let
With every moment of our lives, it includes something new, and goes something old. Learn to let go. Good things survivors during their use and beauty, becoming something else. Just as spring became summer and summer - autumn, each of your child's development stages is replaced by the new and old leaves forever. From crawling to walking, he passes. From ugukanya - to the speech. Childhood gives way to adolescence. Breathing in, you can not breathe. And all eaten sooner or later leave our body.
Every season, every step, every tiny piece of our life we learn to be able to let go. This allows us to get rid of what we do not need to make our life a place for new information and experiences. Yes, let go - not so easy, that's why every child makes it his own way, and in your chered.Priroda loves diversity, and your child is unique. Appreciate it.
Perhaps one of the most unexpected and important ways in which children learn to be able to let go of me - their games. After all, any game - is primarily a "tempered" constraints. Game frees us and helps us to concern ourselves not so serious.
10. Trust yourself. You know your child better than anyone else
The most important thing I can teach new parents - the ability to trust ourselves. No wonder the unseen and grander than the phenomenon in this world of new life. We think that we know everything about it, what you need - and there is not at least we feel as if we know nothing. But the children have taught me that it is a state in which we know and at the same time everything and nothing - a great opportunity to develop our powers of intuition
. Good parents begin with the fact that your child open heart, and I listened to his life without fear or paniki.Issledovaniya show that in the domain of the problem with the child mother's intuition can furnish many times any laboratory tests. Unfortunately, our current life is so full of frightening us with information that it prevents us to use intuition. Think of at least about doctors who behave as if they know your children better than you do!
Listen for your baby. Look into his eyes. Try to feel what it is - to be in this world in full consciousness to the acquisition of language, do not know about all those labels, frightening us, and we share the world into good and bad, good and evil. Infants do not have enemies. They behold the root. They have what Zen Buddhists call "beginner mind." Get accustomed to the way your child breathes the whole body - and you'll be amazed at how it is similar to the breath of Qi Gong practices. Try for a moment to interrupt the flow of your thoughts, and just breathe, imitating him. Perhaps that is how you will find so long eluded you answers.
11. Try to see the whole issue as a whole (because we all too easily fall into the trap of urgent issues, especially at 2 am)
I've seen thousands of children, gradually becoming older, and I realized that for a four-month baby or fourteen teenager seems more than life itself, in fact, turns out to be nothing more than a few bumps in the road of life. That children have taught me to look at life as a whole, rather than on the tiny segment that unfolds before us now.
And believe me, it is worth us to move back a little and take a life of our appraising look, as we understand that those wisdom and compassion, that we've been looking for all this time has been with us.
Author: Steven Cohen
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