Michael Litvak: Shy people - people are very heavy

In my seminars I suggest a lot of exercise.

For example, you can buy a few rolls of toilet paper, hang them around your neck like a necklace, and walk down the street. You will see that up to you no one cares. And if someone has something humiliating and mocking say, what do you care? Why be afraid of someone's meaningless words? If the other person will pay attention to you, then these moments he lives at your expense. What do you feel sorry?

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My Other customers perform other exercises to get rid of his shyness: announced a stop in the bus and subway, sang in the streets and crossings, begging, looking for bottles

. By the way, when we have one businessman collecting bins for bottles, it was found out an interesting thing. It turns out that all the garbage cans have already been distributed among the homeless. And it drove.

Other my client, PhD, deputy chief physician in epidemiology from one Siberian city begging. It is very interesting to tell how it "works". Released in the morning, on the way I began to beg for alms. Begged rubles 50. She once appeared "classification." She - a clever man - knew immediately who to contact for help. It is necessary to refer to the man who is close to the woman. "After working for" a beggar, she threw off a lot of crap. And as a result I have achieved much. She Ph.D., lives in Moscow, the apartment has.

Another member of my seminars Natasha struggled with her shyness, having worked for some time realtor, helped clients to search, remove, buy, sell apartments. Now he works in one of the ministries.

In general, nothing wrong with these people. From prison and from scrip does not renounce. Better all the professions to master in advance.

THE IDEA OF GREATNESS and cowardice

By and large, timidity, cowardice, shame, shyness, embarrassment appear in people of megalomania. They argue in this way: the other can, and I these misfortunes in no way be

. Shy people - people are very heavy, around them should be a lame goat jumping, especially if someone loved a man

. Fear of failure, too, is always born of megalomania. What if what I want to do will not work? But when you do not, and do not acquire a new skill.

Of course, to overcome shyness and fear of failure does not succeed immediately. No matter where something needs to overcome himself. And try not to pay attention to those who will laugh at your attempts.

Some will look at you sympathetically. It's just going to be your friends. But when will be a success, it will applaud it. But the success - it's stagnant

. But at the time of failure, you can appreciate what you are doing wrong, and the next time will be able to make things right, and on top of your social environment is cleaned during the failure period.

The failure to find your friends. Apathetic and hate you, step aside.

I myself, too, overcame his shyness. Now I have a shy at zero. Because it is very dangerous - to be shy. Firstly, a lot of things you do not you try to do at least once. Secondly, this is often just deadly. For example, cancer of the genitals - male and female - are very well treated, if in time to see a doctor. But shy people pulled access to a doctor and die.

Since the death of my friend, with whom I have worked for twenty years. He had cancer of the prostate. The disease begins with an adenoma. It can be cured. But he was too shy. And he brought to the stage inoperable.

Even in his personal life shyness than one marriage is destroyed. Therefore, it is necessary to cultivate courage. What is courage? When you overcome your fear.

Here is one case out of my life. I had a fear of heights. And I was invited to the mountains. There, he met a girl who jumped over the hills like a goat. I invited her to walk in the afternoon. The past. Then we got to a place where I clamber on all fours, and she jumps on two feet safely. And she began to laugh at me.

Good thing I was already psychologically prepared. I say: "You know, I was disappointed in you. You think I do not know how bad I am, and even unattractive in the mountains go? "We do not even have time to go to you. "I honestly thought that you would help me - I admitted it - and you're laughing at me." So the novel I have not turned out.

But since then, I realized that we should not be afraid to look like a coward, but it is necessary to be afraid of them.

This belief I was inspired by the story of the Austrian psychiatrist, a psychologist and a neurologist, a former prisoner of the Nazi concentration camp of Viktor Frankl. He served in the army when the doctor came out to the front. The regimental commander, an Austrian, contemptuously said that representatives of the Jewish nation tremble when standing on the front line. Frankl told him something like this: "Yes, I'm shaking, but standing. But if you are shaking, you have stood? "Shut up his throat.

Of courage and fear

Do not be afraid to be afraid. The essence of courage is not to be afraid, but the ability to overcome fear. My clinical experience is that many talented people do not realize their potential only because they were afraid to look cowards, and many strong and brave people because of psychological cowardice commit stupid things.

There was a time when I really wanted to speak to an audience, and this is very afraid. And in order not to stumble, I have the whole text was drafted - and out. From the words "Dear colleagues, last lecture you listened ..." before the words "Good-bye, until we meet again." All text he knew by heart, but read. By the way, I then showed miracles of bravery. But look at me, it was disgusting. Trembling, sweating, pale. Now I mastered the technique, Now is not the courage now - machinery. Technology has accumulated performances. Now I do not show courage during these sessions.

Remember: if a person is shy, it currently blocks a path to the new. If you'll be shy, if you can not be planned, for example, the Minister of Finance. And if you are planning - it overcome himself. You have just changed the world. When I'm afraid of heights, I'm in the mountains felt bad. When stopped being afraid, the mountains were beautiful. The world just changed.

Another effective way to overcome his shyness - learn to walk naked in the bath, on the beach

. Well, certainly not with strangers - they may not understand. And with colleagues, friends.

For example, in our group - my workshops participants - swimming season lasts all year round. We rarely leave in the summer, when a lot of people everywhere. And we leave on holidays - New Year, the May, on November holidays. We swim in any season. We have the sea is not heated. We ourselves psychologically changed - and now our sea in any weather seems warmer. One of my client at all for twenty minutes in cold water floats as if nothing had happened.

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DO NOT CHANGE THE WORLD. NEED TO CHANGE YOURSELF

Here are the signs of a healthy person psychologically. Psychologically healthy people changes and adapts itself to the world. The world has no emotional content. The world is what we do. World poor - and we are bad. We are good - and the world is good. We tempered - and the sea for us warm all year round. And new possibilities are opened immediately.

One member of our group Vick was able to quickly liberate our whole team. We arrived in the Black Sea at the end of December. They went to the beach to breathe. We had to drive to Krasnaya Polyana. Time was one hour. The hotel did not have time. Suddenly Vick suggested: what if we swim? We did not have time to look around, Vick threw off all clothes and ran into the sea. And we are for it - the herd mentality worked. And now the new members who come to our group, at first shy, embarrassed, and then cease to be ashamed of.

One such client the shy, I often advised to come to our training, then it does not remain a trace of shyness. "And no one will" rape "would not - I assured her. - The very clothes skinesh because becomes jealous ยป

! Shyness should get rid - THEN BE GOOD ...
And I promised to Xenia that as soon as it gets rid of his shyness, then it will start a fantastic life. But you should start with small things. For example, take a chance and go with a necklace of toilet paper on the streets of the city. "Walking is not necessary around the clock - admonished me Xenia, - and until then, until you stop to notice that you have this roll hanging around his neck." Those who walked with a roll of toilet paper, told then that no one generally does not have to the eccentric. But from megalomania good saves.

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