Golden rules of dialogue with difficult people Bashny.Net

1. Before any contact must be adjusted as set up before a concert instrument. Take a strong position - sit or stand so as to feel the support and balance. Talk to an adult position - just what sure and that is important to you, keep in mind that for which you have entered into a dialogue. If it is likely that you will provoke emotions - get the point before his eyes, or clothing (or one touch), which will symbolize to you the stability and balance

. 2. Starting a difficult conversation with someone, say out loud or to myself, "I'm starting to talk to in order to stay in contact, to be with you, and not to quarrel." Remember that the dialogue is not conducted in order to win the battle, but in order to synchronize the position. Upon contact with the child stay at his eye level, touch the body. At the end of a complex conversation necessarily say. "I am with you»




3. The surrounding people have the right not to believe us, we do not love, do not understand and do not agree with us - it will have to survive. Truth subjective. Search prapravdu dialogue, combining the original meaning, that is beyond words. It is possible to do only in the quiescent state, drawing from life of tranquility.

4. Everyone has the right to imperfection, error, error - this does not change the original respect for the other party. Remember that you may be wrong, let yourself learn. Respect for our interlocutors and opponents starts with the respect we have for ourselves.

5. Everyone has their own language and character number, its response speed. What has been said and heard "screened" through our subjective experience and the perception and dissipated when translating hear the words into their language. Do not be afraid to ask again. Let's take time for yourself and the other party to "assimilation" and digesting information. Most say the pronoun "I" instead of "you" ( "I feel", "I'm offended", "I am angry," "I think»).

6. We are projecting to the interlocutor your thoughts, feelings, desires undeveloped, and we therefore projected. Learn to distinguish between these projections and not allow them to influence the intrinsic value.

7. We immediately understand those with whom we live on the same frequency. Speak in plain language, but do not lower your "frequency." Rise to the level of the aligned more interlocutor and not stoop to those who are trying to provoke the "decrease».

8. active-aggressive people need to learn to just leave the aggressive contact, do not take into the account charges. These people are hiding behind the generalities and the pronoun "we" are the most vulnerable side. Upon contact with the passive-aggressive people - they prefer to talk behind your back, throw words after - try to put in communication semantic accents. Make sure that the feelings were manifested. Do not provoke guilt and giperotvetstvennosti that produce passive-aggressive people. After challenging the contacts need to rest, recharge.

9. Do not roll down to the discussion of personal qualities - talk only about facts and events. Estimated manifests helplessness as the last argument. If dialogue is still turns into a quarrel and dispute, it is quite different frequency - include a sense of humor. I'm in such cases, I remember the phrase "Mold reproduce by spores. Do not argue with mold. »

10. Perhaps most importantly, talking with a man turn to his "higher" part. Build a dialogue of their "maturity" with its "maturity". It is an appeal to the "highest potential" helps to reach the level of injuries is, assessments, provocations and stereotypical reactions. Mentally, says the source, "I see you", "your thoughts are important to me, and your presence, even if I do not agree with you»

. 11. It is important to be able to complete the dialogue - "thank you", "see you", any words that will sound sincere at this moment, are appropriate. Analyze past conversations, try to learn from them. Confident man calmly says that he feels what to expect, thanks for contact and dialogue can take the compliment and say a compliment.