Notes. Day 228. Bashny.Net

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Today, or rather yesterday as 0.30 on the clock, I want to sleep tired and crazy, but I wanted to share with you ... So today was very depressing, strange, amazing day.

Today, we have helped one girl one is absolutely not familiar to me man to gain the right to life, the ability to see. At least I hope so, otherwise what they were worth in my opinion small, but all the same effort? I hope that the fighter recovers even abroad, here again can not cure these things. feeling, as always, calm. because - as always you're doing what you can not do. this is normal. Now we can only pray, as even a small contribution, but still made. it is always at least a bit, but it justifies your existence on this earth.

Today I was in their midst. I met with your loved ones, looked like they were laid out on the site, I love to look at them. I love to listen laughter and audience opinion. I like to be a kind of spy. I like for them to rejoice and grieve. they are something that can not hear. :) I like a wildcat, always ready to cut the throat of a man who spoke ill of them, and embrace and smile at the person who laughed at their jokes. sometimes even ridiculous. but he applauded - and I told him infinitely smile. the main thing that did not go. I can not stand it vulgar. and vulgarity - is when not inside, and trivial. and yet I really liked the area. and I was able to light a cigarette, tucked under her legs, because space is allowed ... it's kind of bad, and it makes me incredibly high. watch in a concrete garage on loved ones as if I'm somewhere in the kitchen, among its all drink coffee, mulled wine and punch and enjoy ease. Yes, it was not ideal. but I liked the atmosphere. In my own way somehow. The home-like. I somehow thought, but as here and so were going to the same Vysotsky, Grebenshchikov, Choi with your friends and odnodumtsami somewhere on cottage or in garages or attics ... ... I love this atmosphere. it does not smell conventions.

Today, on the way back, I heard the incredible story of my friend, who kindly offered us dilute the tired, go home. He told how the sparrows out chicks. I was touched. it turns out he also speaks and reads poetry colors ... he told me a story about his "fatherhood-billed" as different and hard to call it ... what he said just opened his soul to me. although I know it is not the first year ... it is a very touching story. and I hope that it will find its audience. because internally I almost cried with emotion. as well as a beautiful woman on his front seat, which, I hope, will not miss the chance to get to know him. because such things - just perfect

. I'm very tired today. I have a lot of things wrong, I'm a little became more secretive and hard. but it's just fatigue. I always balancing between self-confidence and full of disbelief. it is not depression. I do not believe in fact in it. it's just the beginning of my fall. You know how much I need to do now. for what? - And I do not know. but if I do - so for something

. Today accumulate forces and smile to yourself tomorrow - my main task

. But you still feel that way. I know. and so well, that does not ring. Time ... and you'll see that from me you can still be something to sew), even if it is an ordinary cotton shirt autumn. the main thing that warmed.