Many of us, there comes the idea that we do not live our lives. Trying to please everyone, be all white, fluffy, and then suddenly we will not accept such as we have. And people do not want to lose.
Website publishes a parable, the story of what happens to people who do not know how to listen to your heart.
- How does it - is not it? - I asked, suddenly shrunken voice - Just something? Yes, you have a bug here in the files, look better!
- No, sir - old Angel smiled condescendingly and adjusted his glasses in a round frame, - We have everything written down, everything is taken into account, once again, all under the strict eye of themselves know someone. We know that for malfeasance? - Angel's face hardened - About Lucifer heard? That's it. Did not have time to blink - he took off. "Oshi-and-ibka". Say too ...
- Wait a minute - I tried to pull myself together - Please look here
Angel favorably looked at me over his glasses.
- And? - He asked after a moment of silence
- I can not. But somebody there? - I gently wiggled Kiselny substance, which is now replaced my usual earthly body. The substance was worried and went iridescent spots.
- Someone certainly is. But not the NN, which you were pleased to introduce -. Angel sighed and rubbed his forehead, - I like you had seen - do not count. And somehow, for the most part - the ladies. Anyway. Let's check girl. The points. From the very beginning. So?
- Let's - I said firmly hanging over his shoulder, and fight to the last to produce
- Nute, sir, here it is, the biography of Madame of N - Angel pulled out from under the table a hefty Talmud and blew the dust off it, - Ab ovo, dear, they say, from the eggs - he poslyunyavil finger and rustled as tissue pages - well, all this stuff ... ... diapers children's whims ... all sorts of foolishness ... a person has not yet formed ... the character is not expressed, all drafts ... well, childhood altogether omit, we take adult life ... and, voila! - He triumphantly held up a finger, - you have had an affair at the end of the tenth grade
- Oh, what a strange thing - I could not resist - to sixteen - and suddenly novel
- And you do not sneer, freylyayn - Angel made a stern face - Roman developed rapidly and quite happily until butted your girlfriend. And boy you have, let's face it too, right from under the nose stole. That is not you - suddenly caught himself an angel and red - and at Mademoiselle NN ...
- Well, what? - I asked suspiciously, - With all happen. Is that some kind of mortal sin, who forgot to write the Bible? Like, do not give any of your guy, or a donkey or an ox ...
At the word "Bible" Angel winced.
- What does sin, for God's sake! Already got their sins ... follows thought. As in this situation behaves our N?
- How stupid behaves, - I said darkly, vaguely remembering this unfortunate affair "pas de trois" - to pretend that nothing happened, hanging around with them everywhere, reconciles them if quarrel ...
- Vooot - didactically handed Angel - Now carefully - look at me! - How would you do if you lived
- I would kill - word flew out of me before I could figure out what to say
- Exactly! - Angel even jumped up on a chair - it is! Kill would be killed, of course, but it would send three gay characters - that's for sure. Now remember - how many of these "novels" had life in our Mademoiselle
- About five - I thought, and suddenly I felt lousy
- And all with the same result, mind you. Go ahead. Mademoiselle tried to go to university and failed. How not to get?
- One and a half points, - I wanted to cry
- And for some reason, it carries documents in teacher's college. There her score - pass. She goes to the institution. And you? What at that moment would you?
- To act in the university until recently, has not yet will do, - is barely audible, I whispered, - But you and I also understand, my mother cried so asked, afraid that this year I go on a spree or something like that, well, and I was suddenly anyway ...
- My dear, - the angel looked at me with sympathy - we are a damn who you have there and cried for what reason. We are interested in the facts, the most stubborn thing in the world. And the facts we have something quite unsightly. Why are you - no, that's serious! - Why then got married? I mean - our NN? Yes, and I got married, by the way! It is, therefore, got married, and you at this time what thinking ?!
I was silent. I remember, as if thinking in a stuffy church leaf, holding in a sweaty fist candle. That love is love, but all this fresh-water sponge while, that I may be a couple of years stretch, no more, and there is my nature bl * dskaya still outweigh, and then will you forgive me, Lord, if you are ...
- That's just it - Angel shook his head and turned the page - so here you every step of continuous failures! Girl, my, well, not so well! In the thirty years since the tattoo would do - why did not
- Well-at ... - I'm puzzled - I do not remember
- And I'll prompt - Angel grinned wrong - The then your lover was against. Primitive, said the tribes, and the ass is sagging with age. So?
- You ought to know - I frowned, but something that was once, like it was ...
- I somehow know better, of course ... your ass once been, not a lover ?! Well, we go further.
Here it is written - thirty-five years old, a housewife, to put it simply - the unemployed, of hobbies - except cooking. Sweetheart this picture is. Stitch embroidery alone is not enough. Well, remember, remember what is actually something like ?!
- I remembered. Shoot like.
- With whom to shoot ?! - Amazed angel and I looked at the book
- The running target. Well, or stationary, no matter - I cry, as it turned out, and now she could not, but my foggy body lost its iridescence and went thick gray waves - clay pigeon shooting wanted to do. still I wanted to sing. That was long ago ...
- Confirm - Angel pointed to the Talmud - You, my dear, all this had a pretty decent power. God, among other things, details. From birth! Where Delhi all this? Where, I ask you, dividends ?!
- I did not know that I must ... - I murmured in response
- You're lying, you knew perfectly well - Angel took off his glasses, rubbed his tired eyes narrowed and nose, - Well you're lying, then, that attack some ... Okay, ma'am, let's finish. Let's start with your distribution.
He took out a large form, spread it on top of my biography and began to scribble something.
- As you all do not understand - in the voice of an angel could hear the despair, - can not, well, you can not bring yourself at every step, commercials, and you can die before death! And this, incidentally, is the "sin" of which you are so afraid of ... I keep thinking - and so will do ... no joke - every third soul does not live your life! It is a terrible statistic! And all some stupid excuse - the mother cried, then Dad was angry that her husband was against it, then the rain that day went the wrong time, then - even laugh! - There was no money Homo sapiens, called erectus ... Well, everything is ready, -. Angel irritably threw a pen - ask to stand up to the verdict. In front of me to get up, in a sense.
I flew across the table and stopped right in front of an angel, all kind expressing guilt and remorse. God knows, maybe work.
- Unidentified Soul on charges of unlived life of the convicted - Angel looked at me with a stern pity - extenuating circumstances, such as, a) do not know what they do b) was not physically able to realize or c) did not believe in the existence of higher intelligence - is not revealed. Impose a living the same life to finding themselves present. The verdict is final and not appealable. Defendant! Do you understand the verdict?
- No, - I blinked mournfully, - It is hell, whether that
- Well, hell, you do not earn, baby, - smiled the angel - and the jobs there ... - he waved his hand hopelessly - will go to purgatory, will stay simulated situation, while the court did not recognize you live your life. Oh, and there you will suffer or not - we are sorry, I do not know - and the angel stretched scribbled yellow form - now everything is clear
- More or less - I nodded distractedly, - And where am I going
- Torque - Angel said, snapping his fingers. Something rattled, crashed in front of me went dark ...
- ... One I will not let go, and you easily - I heard a familiar voice, - And Sergei says - she'll let otmazhet two days, well, Olga, well, my dear, you're help, right? We'll take a tent and a separate, cool and generally will, imagine two whole nights, campfire, river, and the three of us?
... That was my schoolyard, May can not remember what year, dusty, sultry evening. And Lenka, beauty, doll face and a figure of Sandro Botticelli - my friend - as always happily chirped in my ear, not noticing how the hatred and the pain slowly rolled me a screw, making it difficult to breathe. This familiar, this native-familiar feeling ... I'm a good girl, I pereterplyu all this, I'll behave, I'm good, good, horo ...
- And I fuck you, - I said softly, with a sadistic pleasure watching her rounded porcelain eyes, and feeling some unfinished scenes added - Both went to such a mother
... When the angry clatter of heels Lenkina trailed off somewhere around the corner, I listened to the ringing emptiness around and realized that here right now, I finally, deep, indecent, and punishable happy ...