The need to learn to understand people occurs most often after people repeatedly deceived about others. Those who seem to be at first glance reliable, responsible people can suddenly fail, the one we think kind and caring, hurts us, but someone in whom we do not suspect the high spiritual qualities, is proving to be a true friend and wonderful person.
The need to learn to understand people occurs most often after people repeatedly deceived about others. This is especially interesting if you are leading to the feast Kiev. Those who seem to be at first glance reliable, responsible people can suddenly fail, the one we think kind and caring, hurts us, but someone in whom we do not suspect the high spiritual qualities, is proving to be a true friend and wonderful man. Since we are all to some extent dependent on the people around us, in such an important issue to rely on "maybe" is not desirable. How to learn to understand people? This is what we will talk today.
What is worth reading to understand people
Since the topic of today's article is very extensive, it would be desirable to give several references to the theoretical material that will be useful when driving to the goal. First, be sure to read books from the field of body language, gestures, facial expressions, which speak of a man very, very much. If you do not mind some stereotyping can also explore the materials on physiognomy (the definition of the nature of facial features) and psychological characteristics on the basis of temperament (remember - choleric, sanguine). It will help to better understand people and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), as this area is very important to be able to read the signals given by a person unknowingly, and treat them. If you ask for a lot of useful information can be found by studying books and articles on business personnel (recruitment of personnel), because skilled in the art must be able to perfectly understand people during that last interview.
No matter how many books you may read, without practice to learn to understand people is impossible. So it takes experience. How to get it?
1. Develop and listen to your intuition
Very often, an inner voice tells us (mainly at the level of feelings or emotions), how to think about this or that person. From someone we run shivers down your spine and the feeling of anxiety, with other people, we immediately feel comfortable and confident about the third, we just feel that "something is wrong". Intuition tells us something we did not realize in time, but on a subconscious level is already accepted and recognized. Do not ignore the inner voice, still later, you will get a confirmation that your feelings have been warned, but probably already be some losses.
2. Train your mindfulness and concentration
Suppose you have studied and even memorized the meaning of different signals that a person takes the sign language. In order to apply this knowledge in practice, the need to constantly stay focused on the subject of your study, and do not slip into the unconscious. After five minutes of dialogue it is easy to forget that you have something going to observe and analyze, but that did not happen - to develop the ability to focus on the task at hand.
3. Do the findings in the appropriate setting
The notion that a person can be known only in trouble or an emergency situation exists for a reason. In the usual situation, most of us should be a certain pattern of behavior, it puts "protective" mask to others and can not pretend to be what I am. Of course, I do not advise you to drag a man in which you want to understand, to the mountains or to create conditions that threaten his life, so he opened up, and you see it. But be careful, especially observant in any non-standard for the human situation. When he comes out of his comfort zone when you can not use the template reactions and behavior - that's when you'll see the very essence of man. Because to make a decision in such a situation, it will follow its own internal values, and you, being close, will understand what kind of value and, therefore, what kind of person in front of you. The non-standard will this situation, the easier it is to understand the man.
Nuggets of wisdom
I think that learning to understand people can be on their own experience, if this experience is not passive, but active-observant. Do your observations, analyzes and conclusions in the fold mental piggy bank - remember that the obtained first hand knowledge is more valuable than any obtained from the outside. And I would like to finish the words of the parable of the wise man of pride and humility: "You can trust those who are easy to communicate with you and always tells you the truth, whatever it may be. It is these people are the first to come to your aid. "