Metaphor as a script of life
each of us has their own idea of life which is based on our life experiences. Sometimes difficult to tell what exactly is wrong, people begin to metaphorically describe his life:"My life is like the waiting room of a big train station... benches, draughts, outside the window, people running, they can't see me, they rush, take the train or taxi. It is where and to whom to go... And I sit and wait... Suddenly something happens... And my life will finally begin..." (the heroine of the film "girl on the bridge").
Working with people, it is important to know – in and through which metaphors he lives what he thinks about life, other people and about yourself. This metaphor – the point of view of a man on his life, on the basis of which he creates his personal reality.
Therefore, in the beginning, I sometimes offer their "patients" to formulate a metaphor of his life, and then together, "decode" (to perform) it.
Working with the metaphor of a person, you can actually understand what's going on in his life: does he have the stamina or he lives at the edge, it is on the rise or in decline, in the fight or in defense that he would like to change and what he fears, in what direction his life meaningful or meaning is lost.
In the latter case you can help the person to create new metaphors, to find new meaning. Another metaphor would match, and other feelings, other behaviors, other resources to find solutions to problematic situations.VERY OFTEN, TALKING ABOUT LIFE, PEOPLE USE the METAPHOR "LIFE IS STRUGGLE"
What does that mean? For example, the fact that the man for whom "life is struggle" will not be able to perceive it as "a beautiful journey". "Fighter sees everywhere thrown him a challenge..." (C. Castaneda)
To achieve this a person has to overcome many trials and difficulties. They are a priori "fit life." Without them there is no life itself (for it).
The fight requires a target. Everyone has a purpose in this fight: someone is fighting for independence, some for survival, some for the idea, etc. Then it is necessary to ask: what is the goal pursued by this man in his fight?
He leads an open struggle or "guerrillas" secretly "derailing the train"?
Who sees people living in this metaphor? He is "an experienced fighter" or "naive young man"? Or maybe he is already "dead", man, "fallen in battle"?
Living in this metaphor, you perceive most people as enemies (or at best temporary allies in the fight). You endlessly attack the position of enemies and protect their. Your lifestyle is a battle, win or lose, your motto "who is not with us is against us".
You experience global distrust of the world, are in chronic stress and anxiety, looking at other people using a sniper rifle and live the principles of "an eye for an eye – a tooth for a tooth", "either I have them or they me," "do not believe, do not fear, do not ask." To put it mildly, many of you dislike...It is QUITE ANOTHER MATTER IF FOR YOU "LIFE IS a GAME"
According to this metaphor, every person in life have a role (and what kind of role do you have?).
Human behavior – the game moves, the consequences of winning or losing.
Similar to this metaphor, definition: "life is theatre and people are actors in it", "life is an adventure".
WHAT IF YOUR "LIFE IS A DANCE"?
This metaphor "suggests" that life may be, no logical sense, but there is beauty. The beauty of the dance depends on the ability to catch the rhythm of it, and all whom you meet in life are your dance partners.
... DANCE and don't stop. What's the point — not to think. The meaning is still there, and never did. Think — stop legs... all your contacts with the world around will break... so no way to his feet stopped. Even if everything seems stupid and pointless — never mind. The rhythm watch and keep dancing... squeeze himself like a lemon. And remember: there is nothing to fear. Your biggest competition is fatigue. Fatigue and panic from exhaustion. It could happen to anybody. Will seem that the whole world is wrong. And legs begin to stop themselves... and there is no other way, be sure to dance. Moreover, dance is very cool and nothing else. So everyone was looking at you... so — dance. While the music plays — DANCE... (H. Murakami, Dance, dance, dance)The METAPHOR "life IS a ROAD (WAY, JOURNEY) and"
Trip can be joint or single. The road may be endless, a long, winding, slippery, full of obstacles, difficult, dangerous, unpredictable, exciting... What is she to you?
The road has a beginning and end goal. And then, what is the goal? What you step of the way?
People can "stand at the crossroads", "go your own way", "to lay his track" (your path), or to move in the crowd.CLOSEST DEFINITION: "LIFE'S a CLIMB"
it is Assumed that in life there are some top which you should get. The way it is not easy and dangerous, but the peak is worth to try. This metaphor is often described the spiritual path or career. Is there a peak in your life? If Yes, what is it?METAPHOR – "LIFE IS a SCHOOL" (BIG, CRUEL, ETERNAL)
If we accept this metaphor, we believe that we come into this world to learn something important, to know, to gain important experience. How life is divided into stages (childhood, adolescence...) and the school consists of different classes (Junior, middle and senior).
In school you get different estimates, in some cases, you are punished, some encourage (the metaphor of "heaven and hell")".
For someone life is a hard lesson, interrupted by a short change (happiness), or a long lesson of humility, in which you gain a lot of skills.A SIMILAR DEFINITION is: "LIFE IS an EXAM"
On what stage you are: still studying or already pass? As you realize that "exam successfully completed"? What will you do next? For failures to pay – even their own lives.The METAPHOR "LIFE IS a STORY (STORY)"
Maybe you think life makes sense, and perfection, only if it is told...Every story has its time when you just have to tell it. If a person does this, he dooms his soul to ensure that she remained associated with the secret forever.
(H. Murakami, My favorite sputnik)
Your life can be a love story, with twisted plot, to be full of adventure, where all messed up or, on the contrary, interrelated... And maybe, your life is a boring tale that nobody cares...The METAPHOR "LIFE IS SUFFERING"
Sometimes life itself becomes for man a source of pain, to relieve which can only be death. The world is such a "potential suicides" tragic: the past in the past, the present and sadly, future is doubtful. And then you need to figure out the tipping point when human life "has ceased to be life," and that could "revive".The METAPHOR "LIFE IS MOVEMENT"
the World constantly goes forward, moves in time and space, and you move with him. You can "chasing life," "not to lag behind life." What is the movement for you: eternal, swift, counter, spiral, according to the rules of the road or no? What are you moving?The METAPHOR "LIFE IS a DREAM"
a Man for whom sleep is a desired state, considering the usual time waking as the space between the two sleep periods. He tends to dream awake and to leave the reality (perhaps under the influence of mind-altering drugs), plunging into the world of fantasy. If for you life is a dream, what is: a pleasant, incredible, bad...? What if you Wake up?
As you can see, a lot of people have many beliefs about life. And if a person is chasing one failure after another, it may be worthwhile to understand how he perceives life itself.CHANGING the METAPHOR for LIFE:
Suppose a person tells you: "My life is a swamp. The more I try to cope with the problems, the more I get bogged down in them."
What he means by this? Maybe he was talking about boredom, hopelessness, monotony of his life, in which nothing happens.
Or maybe about something else. You will have your associations connected with the metaphor of the swamp, your partner – the. And that's fine.
To talk to him, ask him:What is a swamp?What it means for him "to live in a swamp"
(especially at the level of feelings, sensations). What is the main problem "life in the swamp"
(depression, or, say, loneliness). Always his life was "swamp."
If not, how his life has turned into a swamp (as it was before). He himself got to it or someone helped. Who is he in the swamp:
for example, "water" or "the tenth algae in the eighth row". That surrounds it?
("my friends are leeches, Yes frogs"). What is the expected developments
(maybe the person just wants to improve "housing conditions", change "swamp" to "lake" and not "become a man" as you first thought). Is there something good in life in "the swamp"
(secondary gain from the current situation). What does he expect from you
(e.g., you are "the one who will help him to get out", "the one who will help to be cleansed of the mud bog," or "one who fails to see him in the swamp and make the campaign"). By analyzing the metaphors, you can deploy a subjective picture of the world of man, to make it more coherent, to return the patient to an active position in your own life.The GENERAL SCHEME of WORKING WITH the METAPHOR of LIFE:Stage 1.
Having heard from his interlocutor metaphor describing his life, invite the person to tell more about his life situation using the above questions.Step 2.
Help the person understand the meaning of a metaphor in which he lives, and to make clear his blocked needs – what he really wants, but is afraid to admit it to myself. To do this, pay special attention to the main character (the Central fragment) metaphors. Can be used questions: what does the main character like why it is necessary?Step 3.
When you are in the process of communication made explicit the true needs of the person opened them in front of themselves, suggest ways to meet those needs. Be prepared for the fact that at this point, your "patient" will include protective reflexes and try to "replay" it back. Dramatic life changes are always scary!Step 4.
To changes in human behavior become more apparent, you need to implement in the subconscious mind new, adjusted a metaphor for life, which to a greater extent will allow him to fulfill his potential and get the most out of every day life. For example, instead of "life is a quagmire," teach a man that "life is an ocean of possibilities". published
Author: Marina Smolensk
photo:Jacob A. Pfeiffer
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © econet