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As wise people say to those who they do not like
"Calm, not panic!" - A favorite phrase Carlson could not be better characterize the manner in which is to communicate with people who you absolutely unsympathetic
. We recommend eight strategies that use smart people communicating.
1. They recognize that they can like not everyone
Sooner or later you will encounter a person who is completely opposite point of view. Smart people understand this. And they recognize that conflicts or disagreements may even be beneficial, because they show a difference of opinion.
If someone does not like something, it does not mean that he is a bad person. You are spending in some things, but disputes sometimes invent new solutions. Once you recognize that you can not please everyone, and please everyone, emotions recede into the background and it will help to learn to listen to the opinions of others.
2. They are patiently to someone who they do not like
Of course, you can overreact to any action you bad man, annoyed because every detail, but still try to be a little more tolerant.
Communicate with people who are not afraid to argue. It is not easy, but it's worth it. Such people challenge or provoke us to help achieve goals and move forward. Remember that you are not perfect, but still surrounding the still suffer you.
3. They are polite
Regardless of your feelings for someone else, the person is likely to be set up for you just as you are to him. If you are rude, you probably get a rude response. "Keep the mark" and be polite, not letting emotions get the better.
4. They understand that everyone makes their own way
Sometimes we expect too much from others. Somehow selfishly we assume that others will go the same way as it did, and we in this or that situation, or say the same thing would have pronounced ourselves. However, it is not. Expect the same from others of his conduct is tantamount to pre-set yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
Tune in to what everyone is doing the same thing in their own way. At other times you will be psychologically prepared, and habits of others will cease to be a surprise for you. Smart people do it constantly, and they are not surprised by the behavior of others.
5. They focus on themselves
Instead of once again angry at the person, try to focus on why you react. Sometimes what we do not like someone, do not like to have the same themselves. These people simply hurt our sore spots.
Try to find their pain points. At other times you will be able to anticipate, mitigate, or even change your reaction. Remember, it is easier to change your perception, attitude and behavior than to change someone
. 6. They take a pause and take a deep breath
Habits Some people may simply withdraw us from ourselves. Perhaps your colleague does not have time to perform regular tasks on time, or you have a friend that is terribly annoying stupid jokes.
Instead of once again spend their own nerve cells, slow down and take a deep breath. This will help to calm down and prevent from excessive emotional reactions, thereby allowing to include head.
7. They say that they need
If some people are always hurt you, try to calmly talk to them about it. Avoid accusatory phrases and use the structure "When you ... I feel ..." For example, "When you interrupt me during meetings, I feel like you do not value my opinion." Then take a moment and wait for an answer.
And then you are surprised to can find out what the other person did not understand that you have not finished your speech or your colleague was so excited about his new idea that enthusiastically interrupted you.
8. They are able to keep their distance
If all methods fail, smart people skillfully keep their distance from those they do not like. Just go your way. Perhaps in the future you will have the desire and the opportunity to establish a relationship with that person, so do not move away too far.
. We recommend eight strategies that use smart people communicating.
1. They recognize that they can like not everyone
Sooner or later you will encounter a person who is completely opposite point of view. Smart people understand this. And they recognize that conflicts or disagreements may even be beneficial, because they show a difference of opinion.
If someone does not like something, it does not mean that he is a bad person. You are spending in some things, but disputes sometimes invent new solutions. Once you recognize that you can not please everyone, and please everyone, emotions recede into the background and it will help to learn to listen to the opinions of others.
2. They are patiently to someone who they do not like
Of course, you can overreact to any action you bad man, annoyed because every detail, but still try to be a little more tolerant.
Communicate with people who are not afraid to argue. It is not easy, but it's worth it. Such people challenge or provoke us to help achieve goals and move forward. Remember that you are not perfect, but still surrounding the still suffer you.
3. They are polite
Regardless of your feelings for someone else, the person is likely to be set up for you just as you are to him. If you are rude, you probably get a rude response. "Keep the mark" and be polite, not letting emotions get the better.
4. They understand that everyone makes their own way
Sometimes we expect too much from others. Somehow selfishly we assume that others will go the same way as it did, and we in this or that situation, or say the same thing would have pronounced ourselves. However, it is not. Expect the same from others of his conduct is tantamount to pre-set yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
Tune in to what everyone is doing the same thing in their own way. At other times you will be psychologically prepared, and habits of others will cease to be a surprise for you. Smart people do it constantly, and they are not surprised by the behavior of others.
5. They focus on themselves
Instead of once again angry at the person, try to focus on why you react. Sometimes what we do not like someone, do not like to have the same themselves. These people simply hurt our sore spots.
Try to find their pain points. At other times you will be able to anticipate, mitigate, or even change your reaction. Remember, it is easier to change your perception, attitude and behavior than to change someone
. 6. They take a pause and take a deep breath
Habits Some people may simply withdraw us from ourselves. Perhaps your colleague does not have time to perform regular tasks on time, or you have a friend that is terribly annoying stupid jokes.
Instead of once again spend their own nerve cells, slow down and take a deep breath. This will help to calm down and prevent from excessive emotional reactions, thereby allowing to include head.
7. They say that they need
If some people are always hurt you, try to calmly talk to them about it. Avoid accusatory phrases and use the structure "When you ... I feel ..." For example, "When you interrupt me during meetings, I feel like you do not value my opinion." Then take a moment and wait for an answer.
And then you are surprised to can find out what the other person did not understand that you have not finished your speech or your colleague was so excited about his new idea that enthusiastically interrupted you.
8. They are able to keep their distance
If all methods fail, smart people skillfully keep their distance from those they do not like. Just go your way. Perhaps in the future you will have the desire and the opportunity to establish a relationship with that person, so do not move away too far.
