519
Not as I will, but as thou
One day in the midst of a quarrel when we passionately defended each their point of view, I suddenly realized how stupid all that we are doing now. What started this quarrel that why do some believe that to prove something to each other is more important than to love each other, rather than to put out on the vine any disagreements, we begin to drive nails into a board.
The latter metaphor I like very much. It is that all those terrible and often hurtful words that we speak in a fit of anger, can be likened to the nails driven into the board, where board - your relationship. Yes, then you are likely to apologize, and "nail" will be removed. But the trail of something left.
A very good illustration of the above, I once met at a friend's house engineer as its drawing Kuhlmann, flecked with traces of the buttons. My former relations at that time seemed to me something that way:
We had a lot of time to make some holes. And very little brains to stop in time.
It is the same with the relationship with their parents. As the closest, they always take the first blow your unrelenting fatigue. When the climb with questions or unsolicited advice on how to live well, because as you live, no good. Patience for the tenth time to listen to the same thing is not enough, you start to pluck ... and selflessly to drive a nail to the very hat, remembering and plaiting a trifling reason, argument and all. While at some point you do not understand: at the other end too quiet. Unfortunately, you can not effectively throw the tube - short beeps mobile phones are not provided
. How many times it was - do not count. To offend, insult, sorry, you call back, apologize. But the trail was. And if we could combine both in children's coloring book, all these points - no matter what happened ..
?
I understand that everyone has their own truth. And the fact that one seems incredibly important, it seems nonsense to another and whim. But one thing I have learned a long time and reliably: really good reasons to quarrel, is extremely small. Basically, the noise from nothing happens, and the same emptiness ends. It would seem - well, okay, not a great loss, let off steam - and well
. But that's only in this nonsense is irrevocably lost something really valuable, namely -. Time
... These scandals, did not seem to know that angry words can not be taken
and forget. They did not know that people swear to the full,
and put up half, and so every time love is cut off, and it is becoming less and less.
M. Shishkin. "Pismovnik»
After breaking up with a loved one, ask questions, and if you are willing to it now because of this take and throw. Well worth the cause of the disorder. Is it so important for you, to live with the opposite is absolutely unacceptable for you. And if the answer is "no", spit on the pride and go to build bridges.
But all these "not you again ..." "You never ..." - is actually a reflection of a much more deep fear "you're not me ...", and so either directly set this terrible, or calm
. Once I realized that I have no time to quarrel. There are causes and reasons for them, sometimes even strength and mood, but the time - no. Not because it is sutured to the work or is so active in the social life - just today I wish every minute that I'm comin with the hammer on the cheap, "clarifying relations»
. Now, in every strange situation I simply embroider elephant. Tic.
One irresistible desire poorat usually equal to one hundred second-embroidered cells tightly starched canvas. A total of several thousands. I think it's about two and a passing one divorce.
To embroider the elephant legs, it took me six months.
The last stitch in the embroidery I want to make a trembling hand senile many decades after today.
(You're going to nag at me, I - a cat, and the cat - confused me thread, confusing elephant card - and last
never,
never,
never
is complete.)
The latter metaphor I like very much. It is that all those terrible and often hurtful words that we speak in a fit of anger, can be likened to the nails driven into the board, where board - your relationship. Yes, then you are likely to apologize, and "nail" will be removed. But the trail of something left.
A very good illustration of the above, I once met at a friend's house engineer as its drawing Kuhlmann, flecked with traces of the buttons. My former relations at that time seemed to me something that way:
We had a lot of time to make some holes. And very little brains to stop in time.
It is the same with the relationship with their parents. As the closest, they always take the first blow your unrelenting fatigue. When the climb with questions or unsolicited advice on how to live well, because as you live, no good. Patience for the tenth time to listen to the same thing is not enough, you start to pluck ... and selflessly to drive a nail to the very hat, remembering and plaiting a trifling reason, argument and all. While at some point you do not understand: at the other end too quiet. Unfortunately, you can not effectively throw the tube - short beeps mobile phones are not provided
. How many times it was - do not count. To offend, insult, sorry, you call back, apologize. But the trail was. And if we could combine both in children's coloring book, all these points - no matter what happened ..
?
I understand that everyone has their own truth. And the fact that one seems incredibly important, it seems nonsense to another and whim. But one thing I have learned a long time and reliably: really good reasons to quarrel, is extremely small. Basically, the noise from nothing happens, and the same emptiness ends. It would seem - well, okay, not a great loss, let off steam - and well
. But that's only in this nonsense is irrevocably lost something really valuable, namely -. Time
... These scandals, did not seem to know that angry words can not be taken
and forget. They did not know that people swear to the full,
and put up half, and so every time love is cut off, and it is becoming less and less.
M. Shishkin. "Pismovnik»
After breaking up with a loved one, ask questions, and if you are willing to it now because of this take and throw. Well worth the cause of the disorder. Is it so important for you, to live with the opposite is absolutely unacceptable for you. And if the answer is "no", spit on the pride and go to build bridges.
But all these "not you again ..." "You never ..." - is actually a reflection of a much more deep fear "you're not me ...", and so either directly set this terrible, or calm
. Once I realized that I have no time to quarrel. There are causes and reasons for them, sometimes even strength and mood, but the time - no. Not because it is sutured to the work or is so active in the social life - just today I wish every minute that I'm comin with the hammer on the cheap, "clarifying relations»
. Now, in every strange situation I simply embroider elephant. Tic.
One irresistible desire poorat usually equal to one hundred second-embroidered cells tightly starched canvas. A total of several thousands. I think it's about two and a passing one divorce.
To embroider the elephant legs, it took me six months.
The last stitch in the embroidery I want to make a trembling hand senile many decades after today.
(You're going to nag at me, I - a cat, and the cat - confused me thread, confusing elephant card - and last
never,
never,
never
is complete.)
