After about twenty-five years of life, full of shyness, anxiety and a strong dislike of the fact, which I call "myself," I have a period of depression and illness.
Driven by the desire to get rid of the pain of his life, I plunged into intense spiritual search, which lasted several years, which led me to all the world's religions and spiritual traditions. All my life I was an inveterate atheist, but in the end the suffering was so intense that care spirituality seemed the only option.
I'm addicted to the idea of "spiritual awakening," disconnected from the outside world, in meditation and study of his ideas, constantly changing and questioning his belief system, reading literally hundreds of spiritual books, and sitting out for hours in the garden, trying to be "here and now" , waiting for the moment when the single I disappear and suffering will cease.
But I never found what I was looking for, and my despair and frustration have reached a critical point. And then, in the midst of despair, something opened. Mind, exhausted a lifetime spent in trying to achieve the unachievable goals, collapsed, and it is a deep relaxation.
The secret was revealed in the middle of what I took to be "his life».
The spiritual search ended awareness that there is only unity that life is complete and perfect, and is inseparable from what I thought I was. In this evidence all the search died down, leaving only the clarity and simplicity of what is.
I was shocked to realize that the secret of spiritual awakening has been with me from the beginning, I could not see him because he was so busy with his search and thereby separated him from me. However, this separation was an illusion, and the illusion is dispelled when, the truth was revealed, clear as a punch in the stomach.
Truth opened as a chair, flower, tree, my hands, my legs, everything. Revelation of Unity was going on around me, every moment, but his search for that with which I can identify yourself, I totally missed.
In hindsight, I see that it unfolded perfectly. A lifetime of searching and suffering was necessary to wake me from sleep searches and suffering! And in fact, search and suffering has always pointed to another possibility - they are always pointing the way home.
© Jeff Foster
"When we begin to truly love yourself, automatically lose the desire to criticize others and offended. Disappears tendency to take into the account the negative alien, extraneous emotional dirt simply ceases to stick to us.
Everyone is responsible for his own world!
Enlightenment - is when you shed light on all your fears, doubts, when you fill the light of love every corner of your heart as long as the inside you will not have to fear - you completely accept the fact that even your most "bad side" - a too, love and light. "