Why do people behave strangely. Degradation of emotional needs

Children sometimes ask very simple questions for which an adult is very difficult to answer. When my daughter asked me why people sometimes behave strangely, I found that I could easily answer it, but seriously wrong. The answer was not so simple. I hope that when she grows up, it will ask me this question again. And what I have written below will help her in her thinking.


Basic human needs is the need for love and unconditional acceptance. The human heart has a strong desire to be loved unconditionally, just for the fact of its existence. A man comes into the world, looking for its place in the universe. He wants to feel part of the Universe. Awareness the world in a different way can be called the meaning of life. The meaning of life - that is what connects me to the world, so I feel it is a feeling, not just know their value. We begin our lives with, that are looking for love and unconditional acceptance and, ideally, end up that we give our love to others.

What happens if a person finds the meaning of life, if it is a basic emotional need for love and acceptance is not satisfied? Then one begins to do its utmost to merit recognition. It was then formed by the need for respect. If I did not take, and certainly do not like, then let love for what I have achieved. In love, there is everything: the acceptance and respect, but only one respect ocherstvlyaet soul. Respect without love - it's cold recognition and achievements of the other person.

But what happens if a person is not respected? If you do not appreciate his achievements and recognize merit? Status, money, fame cease to bring him joy. What is happening in the heart of a man? He wants to be part of this world. How he can realize this need? "I do not respect, let fear" - is the answer. Then one begins to forcibly assert itself in the world. Instill fear - a way to forcibly gain recognition and respect. Since suicide, killing himself, claiming the value of life. Often suicide - it's just a way to attract attention and cause fear and guilt from the people around them. But where there is fear, there is no love and respect, because can not be forced to get what can only be obtained as a gift.

But what happens if someone wants to instill fear, and fear not? How to insert itself in the world, if the universe is rejected? Hatred - a way to assert itself in the world, when there is no fear. In such a desperate situation the person is ready to harm people and even finds the perverse satisfaction of his need for love and acceptance. Making others feel pain, a man asserts its relevance to their lives.

But if a person is powerless to cause substantial harm to others? What then? Call Contempt - a way to stay in front of other people, when there is fear and hatred. Such a person a feeling of disgust, and in this sense it draws its value. Usually people suffer if they despise, but in this case, contempt and pity of others make it possible to avoid complete isolation. Deliberately humiliating himself in the eyes of other people, subconsciously looking for an opportunity to get the attention and love.

We are created in order to feel joy through love. As a child, a person learns to accept the love of parents. If the baby's heart was filled with love, then it is easier to love others. Growing up and becoming wiser, we learn to love, and joy begins to bring the very possibility of love for their children. If the heart of a child is injured, he received less parental love, there is a danger of degeneration of emotional needs. Instead of learning to love, a person can begin to look for other ways to fill the void that appears in the soul.

In fact, there is hardly a single person who has received a child enough love and warmth. In a sense, all of us something nedodali since our parents are a lot of things had not received in childhood. Therefore, there is another way. This path is long and difficult. Learning to give to others what he did not get as a child: love, acceptance, warmth of human communication.