12 facts about children's psychological trauma and adult neurotics by family psychologist Michael Labkovsky

site contains excerpts from the lecture Michael Labkovsky devoted to the fact that most of our psychological problems from childhood. Their problems must be solved, and the children do not try to impose their own neuroses, psychological advice. < 1. Many see themselves as introverts, but introverts, they were not always.
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But what kind of security can there be if the parents are aggressive or unpredictable predictably negative? They always bad. The atmosphere in the family - the expectation of disaster.
That's where they - "small" psychological trauma! Their reason - not necessarily in a red-hot iron or incest. Negative remarks deeply hurt by the fact that the constantly repeated. You know, there are European torture - rack, beatings, and there are Chinese when immobilized person, for example, tickle feather until he goes mad. There is the same difference.



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6. Not all children are equally responsive to the trauma.
Once I had to explain to a 7-year old child that is bred to help him cope with psychotrauma. I say:

- You're in what class you learn?
- In the first.
- You do any of the girls like?
- Yes. Lisa.
- And I went to kindergarten?
- You met there with Lisa?
- No, there I was Lena.
- And where is she now?
- Well I'll explain! I'm already at the school where I know where Lena?
- Here. And dad had a lifetime to live with your mother, is that it?

Then he stopped crying, stopped receiving, went to his parents, who were waiting in the corridor and said, I understood everything went ...

7. Stability, comfort, trust - that should get the children from their parents in the first place.
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9. phobias, panic attacks, and mistrust of the people.
10. If you take a full family, but neurotic and family without a father, from a psychological point of view, the second clearly preferable.
11.
If you do not want to psychological trauma were your children, behave so that they were not afraid of you, that you were predictable, so that through you they feel confidence in life. Stay if you do not close, then available to you could always call, share something, ask. And if the child something you said, try not to interrupt him and not to give advice, but just listen.

12. If you

• unable to trust anyone else; do not know how to express their feelings; emotionally suppressed ("I can not fall in love", "I do not feel anything" ); can not be realized either in the family or in the profession; do not want to (or afraid) to have children; you have a tendency to depression, etc. . d.
  It is important that you know that do not have a lifetime to pay for his unhappy childhood. And almost all fixable.
  
  
  
  Author Michael Labkovsky of the lecture "On children's psychological trauma." Source Snob
  
  via factroom.ru