25 teachers jokes with a funky sense of humor

University professors are these merry fellows. Thanks to great experience and sharp mind are no platitudes and banalities can perform better in the classroom a professional stand-up comedian. < Website

• Hush! Let's pretend that you're interested in. To be taken. Familiar word? Skullcap. Let this: I will quickly tell you the topic, then do so (covers his face in two seconds, and open) and - "Oh, but where are the students? No students! ». Moscow City for me sounds just like Los Astrakhan or Rio De Exactly! Dear rear ranks, do not bang your head on the desk. Still not so bad. If late, the student comes and closes the door behind him. 5-second silence, then:
  - Excuse me, but you're there the doorman of our not seen? The purpose of education is to pick up buzzwords and then they have to juggle. Well, as they say , kid - the master of his word, so that his answer four themes, since I promised. - Valery, but as you my analytical work?
  - Well ... Title liked me. I understand if lectures were filthy ... But I know that a good read! I do not like that you're there because you laughing to tears ... It makes me envy attacks. What a wonderful pronoun "Theirs!" If not for education, so would always say! Katanaeva: "How are you going to solve the quiz?»
  Student: "Just as it is today - an intuitive».
  Katanaeva "Intuitively in accounting can only go to jail». The Sword - the first surgical instrument. Previously, he performed amputations. The most common operations were beheaded. Sometimes other parts of the body - as it will. You will be problems. This is normal. Where are the people - there's always the problem. Meteorology - an exact science. Tambourine need to keep in the left hand. Read the coefficients using line integrals can only be a good dinner. Complex roots can be found, not all - very few people can do it. The next test examinations forces again to make sure that some of the students are trying to make a revolution in the history of the state and law. Do not really understand the system rounded estimates. In my experience, a pint of never rounded up to a liter. I declare that this problem is stronger than me! Teacher few seconds looking at pencil student, on the question:
  - A tea can be stored in this thing? The main bomzhevatelem that time was Confucius. The world is limitless useless things. And I'm proud to tell you about the most beautiful of them - on differential geometry! - Excuse me, what was the theorem that we proved?
  - First things first ... My name is Vladimir.
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