Brilliant quotes professors

One of the most striking discoveries of student life, of course, is communication with teachers. After the lectures, you can hear a lot of exciting, witty and a funny phrase from the lips of professors.

Editorial Website , fondly recalling his student years, is saying teachers, laid out in a network of grateful students.

- Well, those whom I have named - well done. And the rest as juice.
- What's the juice?
- "Gardens Pridonya." Well, the "bottom" will call you as something not quite right, so that you - "Pridonye». it is necessary to draw up a work plan based on laziness. Because if you make a plan without laziness, you do not do it. The student stood up from his desk and walked to the exit. He turned and asked: "You can come out?»
Teacher: "There is something wrong sequence of actions ...»
Student: "Well, I'm sorry, I can sit back and repeat the request. So you can go? »
Teacher: "It is possible. But you gently when going to the toilet - there is also a sequence of actions is important ». We use the method of selection of the famous German mathematician ... - Vladimir Ivanovich, and how to get the machine?
- Apply to the draft board in the community. What you can not sit there on the last party? You have no Internet there, or what? Sit in VKontakte! Give him somebody headphones! To paraphrase a classic: the credit in English will be able to not all. Actually, not only all, few can. - You will lead us Ethnosociology?
- Have you signed up?
- Yes ...
- Well zache-ee-em?! Teacher sneezed.
Student: "Be healthy!»
Teacher: "Thank you. I uchtu this on competition ». You are not alone! With you always personal zoo - 5-7 kg of bacteria! Well, since I'm now so hopelessly late, I think we can leave early. - Maybe when I turn to the blackboard You show me the language.
- No, you do it!
- And here I show you. Do not remember me - it is like a strange woman: I do not know where to press to make things work.
- You do decide life problems using matrices?
- No.
- There is no?! If you do not want to share her husband try not to cut it. What would you choose: Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease? Think very physiologic response! Of course, Parkinson. It is better to spill a little brandy to your pants than to forget what to do with a whole bottle. I understand if you are writing a check addressed to Wikipedia ... Well, you know what would be better if you turned to Jesus .. . Just do not write a lot, I'm still the same check, but it is better to hand over a blank piece. Seminar on linear algebra:
- Where is Oleg?
- It was bad.
- And who is now well? «Exhibition" cars near finuniversiteta inadvertently dispels the myth of the poor student. After the training ride in America. Let them where the economy will collapse. Who wants to continue to make an academic career in philosophy - can simply do nothing, lie on the couch and dream. Here are just a Diogenes in the barrel was sitting. Let's write a quick answer, no one has yet found a mistake! I remember the names of all absentees. Ivanov and Sidorov this ... your elder. We will not pull the cat in all its details! Here you have, for example, John * imnaya connection with the dean's office. The truth is always on top of Dean's office. Can I put you all tests machine, want? Only if you promise that none of you will be working in the profession. In the world there are many interesting things - for example, I wonder how many penguins in the refrigerator will last - but that does not mean that it is necessary to study. < / - Verbal context ... No, it's too long, I will not tell you.
- At the exam, too, you can answer?
- Yeah, come down. Are you tired? Yes, and I'm tired of talking to you.

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