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Shpynyat mother prohibited
Mother first heard that she is a bad mother, very soon after birth. Pope infuriates the baby cries, sleeps, the mother takes him in her arms do not take him in his arms, putting to bed with him, he goes to bed to him that she is nervous because every sneeze the apartment she had not been removed. All day I am sitting at home - what to do? Remove it was hard? Then connect grandmother not feed so there is no schedule, he talks at you badly dealt with it a little, decided to do a little, a little love, a little dryuchit - all, all wrong!
Then take her that in the sandbox, the grandmother at the door and teachers of kindergartens. Well, the doctors even, a special article: What do you all think that you - want to ditch your child? Yes, thank you, from the very birth of this and seek.
By the time a child goes to school, his mother shudders already on each call to her word, compressed, expecting a blow, ready at any time to quickly hide the child behind his back, face the dangers and teeth bared is sandwiched in the corner wolf that last bit of strength to protect her cub. Later, however, when she will drive forward, barking, howling, teeth clatter and threatening toporscheniem hair on the nape, she got her cub a bashing that will not find it: how dare embarrass me? What I have for you will blush, turn pale?
At school, of course, my mother anything comforting not say , except that a child needs to be addressed, that it is necessary to do homework, it is necessary to explain to him how to behave, and require it to It has established its behavior in the classroom, as if she had a remote control child. By the end of the school will know the mother that her child worthless, does not pass the exam in the wipers do not take, in short, a complete pedagogical fiasco. House of the father is convinced that his mother spoiled child of his gentleness and grandmother assured that she would not even feed.
Russia - a country unfriendly to children. On vacation, transport, on the road, on the street at his mother turned the watchful eyes of fellow citizens who are ready for any occasion emit didactic remark. Is not it easier in the temple, where rampaging children do not particularly like - and the child's mother, who was tired, cranky or stomp off the temple during the reading of the gospel, what did not hear enough.
Although I know a church where the children can stay in the service, not hanging on my mother always invited to stand in front. There they see no strangers back and worship: how to sing, who reads, how many left, making the father ... who are tired - distracted, corrects candles in sconces can even sit on the bench. Behind mother and grandmother, who will remind when to stand, when to sing, when to cross.
I know grandmothers who, seeing how iznylsya child during the long prayers before Communion may invite mother to hold him in my arms, if not walk with him in the churchyard to mom she came to herself, and prayed before the participle.
I know a teacher that two o'clock in the meeting told the parents - together and then apart - which they have a wonderful class, what it excellent talented children and how they work great. The parents went home so puzzled that some on the road, even bought a cake for tea.
I saw a woman who was on the plane just took from crocked mom nagging four-year and all the way to draw it in a notebook, reading her Marshak and Chukovsky engaged Finger games - and even allowed my mother to get some sleep, and neighbors - to fly in silence .
I saw another that when her chair behind kicked someone else's child, turned around, and instead of the sacramental "Mother, calm your child," said, "Baby, you kick me in the back, it is very unpleasant, please, do not do it».
One day I was riding home in a minibus with a glove-puppet bear in a bag. Opposite sat a girl of five, which was boring. She fidgeted, swinging her legs, my mother pestered with questions, shoved neighbors. When the bear waved his paw out of the bag, she nearly fell off the seat in astonishment. We played all the way to the bear, and my mother watched with incredulous horror, ready at any moment to take away the baby, away bear shove it back to me, to snap to attention and daughter sat motionless and tear anyone who dares to say something. This is a conditioned reflex, is an old habit of not waiting for anything good from others.
I remember as a grandparent I have taken the night screaming baby, just say "go to sleep", even though they work tomorrow; as a husband, without giving us algebra eat up a child, fast and fun to finish with them lessons as I hedged, they picked up and helped - home, friends, colleagues.
I remember a fellow traveler, who suffered the night cries of my three year old daughter on the train, and the saleswoman, who gave her a banana, when our flight was delayed by 18 hours and spacey kid bullet raced through the airport. I remember with gratitude those who helped lift the wheelchair tips over, missed the queue in a public restroom, handkerchiefs stretched when his son on the street was the blood from his nose, gave just balls, crying baby laugh. And I always feel that I must return it all to others.
Every mother is difficult. She does not know everything and not everyone knows, it is not always even itself has reached a degree of mental maturity, adulthood, kindness, self-confidence that allows her to keep any crisis situation, and the presence of mind to make the right decisions. Mom makes mistakes, doing the most important thing and the most precious person in my life. She sees this and does not know how to fix them. She and so it seems that she does not do so properly; she is a perfectionist at heart and wants to do everything perfectly , but can not be perfect and waiting huddled, she now again put a deuce. Do not finish it.
Sometimes it is to maintain a good word, notice the child progress to praise her efforts, she said something good about her child, gently offer help. And do not rush to condemn, to poke a finger, to educate and to make comments. And if you complain - to listen, not to lecture. If crying - hug and regret.
Because the her mother, she is doing the most difficult, thankless, useful work in the world. The work for which no pay, no praise, no raise at work, do not give rewards. work in which many failures and too seldom falls and it seems that something has reached.
You can not even praise, I guess. To assist, entertain other children not to play with them, do not speak good words.
Just do not shpynyat at every step. Already is a huge relief.
Author: Irina Lukyanova
Photos in the preview: Natalia Tejera
via fineartamerica.com/profiles/natalia-tejera.html
