7 ways to stop being unhappy

Cchastlivaya life - this building, which has three dimensions: financial, interpersonal and emotional. In other words, to be happy, we must be able to achieve its objectives, while maintaining good relations with people and their reputation and without sacrificing inner harmony.

What should be done to get out of trouble and anxiety and stop feeling miserable? Website gives a few tips that have already concluded a program of action ...

1. Decide what you are all going well h2> truisms? Not so simple. is always easier to surrender to the power of misfortune - it requires us to lower the cost of psychological energy. And to extend the well-being, on the other hand, efforts are needed. In general, people differ from each other in how they are able to feel happy, but there are factors that are common to the whole human race: it seems that evolution is favorable to the development of negative emotions, because they increase the chances of survival of the species. Fear motivates us to flee or take the battle, anger scares opponents or rivals, sadness is compassion ...

However, the nature, worry about our survival, I did not care about the quality of our lives. Positive emotions are much less diverse, less stable and more "costly" in terms of psychological energy.

2. Do not leave too much space feeling unhappy h2> As the negative emotions arise only from time to time, do not last long and not too much disturb our daily lives, one would expect that they will be themselves. But the "flirt" with misfortune unsafe, and today psychology begins to better understand this risk. giving free rein to negative emotions, we extend them.

Before, people believed in a kind of catharsis: for example, if you complain about someone, you can alleviate their suffering. But in fact, it is often exactly the opposite: the constant and unanswered complaints can make the complaining victim of life circumstances. And misery nourishes itself: the more we give in to it, the longer it will last. Moreover, if we surrender to the power of misfortune, the time-limited negative emotion (at the moment we feel unhappy) gradually develops into a stable negative attitude (we unhappy life).

3. Take care of yourself, especially when things are not going h2> Another platitude? Yes, but in reality thousands of people deny it by their behavior. Most suffer anxiety and depression coming the other way around. What it worse, the more they run themselves (stop seeing friends, throw your hobby ...), and the more they themselves run, the worse it becomes. There is a vicious circle.

Favorite thing to do when you have problems - not the most obvious way out of the situation, because a person is lost to this desire. However, all the known works show that it is necessary to awaken the desire, making an effort.

Do not be misled with respect to the ultimate goal: When we feel bad, the task enjoyable activities is not to make us happy, and to prevent the misfortune to grow and take root within us.

4. Avoid perfectionism and do not aspire to happiness "in that no matter what» h2> The search for happiness should not become for us an obsessive state, and the right of everyone to be happy should not become an obligation to be happy in whatever It was

5. Savor the moments of happiness h2> The best weapon in the fight against misfortune - it extract as much enjoyment out of those happy moments that gives us the fate
And here we come to the most ancient and the most wise counsel of philosophers: carpe diem («carpe diem"), rejoice that you have today.

6. Think about the stress of everyday life, but do not dwell on them h2> Research disturbing psyche of people show that they constantly scroll in a head trouble, but, paradoxically, it does not help them find a way out. The fact that anxiety is designed to sound an alarm, to draw our attention to the problem; It is not a way of perceiving the world and solve our problems
In this case, using the so-called "Socratic method", which consists in asking tough questions about our worries: what is relevant to the facts, and what follows from my interpretation of events or my expectations? It does to me that I am constantly worried? What is my disaster scenario? What is the probability that it will happen to me? And so on. Method harsh but effective.

7. Do not cultivate a hostile emotions h2> Many of our troubles occur because we attach too much space so-called hostile emotions. These emotions are often very strong and focused on certain people (anger, bitterness, jealousy, and so on. N.). Most often, they develop because we put in the first place need to prove their case ("They are wrong, they should be punished"), sacrificing their desire to feel good ("I'm the first because of this suffering, so be to think that I can make a useful, and then switch to another »).

In other cases, negative emotions are explained annoyance we feel with respect to human imperfection; These emotions make us look at the world and its inhabitants meticulously or cynically: "Well, if she considers herself a beauty ...» Lack of goodwill often indicates that the person is bad and always a source of feelings of unhappiness.

* - Christophe Andre led a unit specializing in the treatment of anxiety and phobias in the Sainte-Anne Hospital in Paris, and has taught at universities around the world. He is the author of numerous scientific publications and books, designed for a mass audience.



via www.psychologies.ru/psychotherapy/self-development/7-sposobov-perestat-byit-neschastnyim/