How to stop hot and learn to listen to others

each of us once in my life had to argue. At such moments, emotions get the better of us, and it becomes difficult to deal with them.

But perhaps, after all, it is to give to others at least a small chance of being heard? < Website I have tried this simple way, and says: just 5 minutes can change your relationships with the people around.



I used to be hot-tempered. The opinion of others is more important than I thought and thought, I have some problem about it. Whenever anyone said something, which I did not agree, I accept arguing and impose their point of view. The faster you react, the less you think - this is not always, but often.

In 2007, I spoke at a conference of business innovation in the State of Rhode Island. Richard Saul Wurman, a famous graphic designer and founder of lectures TED, after my speech came to me to talk. It was very flattering and nice.

What do you think, what did I do? Frankly, behaved like a complete moron: performing Wurman, I noted those items which did not agree. And when the opportunity to talk to him alone, I began to reject his ideas, and to prove his point.

His answer changed my life. He just said, "Look, man, wait 5 minutes." I asked him what he meant. Richard explained: great to have your own opinion on certain issues, but give the ideas of others is a little bit of time before you start to argue with them. 5 minutes trying to think, and not to react instantaneously. And he was absolutely right. I got involved in the discussion to prove something and not know.

It was a really important point.

Richard thought about this issue throughout his career and devoted nearly 30 years. And I realized that in just a couple of minutes. Of course, it may be wrong, but it is much better to think twice before you show confidence in their rightness.

Expressing disagreement, we thus show that all have long known and understood, but the questions we ask, because really want to know anything. Ask more questions.

Learning how to think first and then take any action it is not so simple. And I still occasionally flares up when not to do it. But, believe me, it's really useful and improves life.

In the world there are two things that do not need any skills:

Spending other people's money. Deviation ideas. easily reject the idea - because it does not require much effort. You can make fun of her. You can simply ignore it, dismiss - simple. It is difficult to defend the idea, think about it, to learn and not to sleep at night, to put into practice. Even a bad idea can be good if it has a chance to become a reality.

So next time you hear about someone else's idea, give it 5 minutes. Think about it a bit before raskritikuete or say that it is too difficult. Probably the way it is, but maybe everything is different: it is really worth it.







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