- There is a myth that people fall in love at first sight and their love lasts forever. However, no one does not build the house, no one does not get a profession, and no one is recovering.
I believe that a woman is building relationships. Do you know why I do not advise couples? Because, as a rule, a man asks to prove that a woman is wrong. And nothing else from a psychologist, he is not waiting. I believe that a man responds only to a woman. He will not be as responsive to a psychologist. I work with women because piously believe that when a woman changes, changing the ratio of men to her.
In this article, the 7 most common mistakes I've ever encountered.
Error number 1: Do you read a lot of morals h3> The basic error in a relationship - it is a lot of talk on the part of women. And it's not just talk. This is when, instead of explaining the reason for his sadness, she said: "I'll tell you how! I know! You do not know you at all ... "She starts his sermons, for example, in the car, at a time when he can not even get out of it. And it continues all the way to the brain to make him a minor subject. Then they come home, eat, go to sleep, have sex, and in the morning all repeated.
Error number 2: you throws to extremes h3> In women, there is another common mistake. They constantly go to extremes - "always available" or "completely inaccessible." There are 2 points in
When a woman is available close to your partner, regardless of his behavior, it loses its value for itself and for the partner. When a woman takes the position of a tough leader, or "mother" in the family, her sex drive disappears. Because the men in the head "mama" and "sex" - are two different things. "Mama" - for love and sex have to look for another woman. The woman - a combination of girls and mothers. Together we get a calm, harmonious woman who knows how to be flexible. Mom can not be flexible, as always something worrying and must be correct. A girl can not be flexible, simply because it is stupid.
When a woman learns to feel it understands what quiet joy And learning to find the tools to come to such a state.
Women waiting for that will come a man who will do anything and will be good. It does not become good. Because the need for love - it is a basic need. The basic requirements we can implement only their own. And if a woman is not able to meet their basic needs on their own, will increase resentment. Although it would seem, it goes as it should, and the man does as writing in journals. But she does not feel. And this leads to the fact that people break up.
Error number 3: You lupite Tiger sneakers h3> The woman often tries to convey to the man that he is not in line with its views. She constantly repeats statements such as: "You're lazy!", "How can I?", "You'll never earn money", "When you make a decision?". And report the information to him in such a position in the end make him a "pig" who does not want her to come.
I have such an allegory, when we take the tiger and let us peel his sneakers every day. We tell him that he was not strong, and not a tiger. I suggest that women say such phrases as, "You know, I'm sad," "You know, I'm very upset, because I explained to you how important it is for me, in the hope that you will understand me." In this way, a woman gives a man is responsible for his condition. It is very important Because all women are waiting for justice. He is absolutely comfortable being who does not like the extra responsibility. And representatives of the strong half of humanity is much easier to make a woman feel comfortable, rather than later be responsible for the fact that she is sad.
Error number 4: You do not realize what happiness h3> I've been working for 15 years and for a long time did not understand why a girl with a very different status, age, experience and education make the same mistakes. And what I realized? What is the parents' responsibility is enormous. Parents must give their daughter the experience of happiness, in which she would later identify themselves in society. For example, I was not taught to feel happiness. And when the girl comes to life, she does not know what the state of happiness She knows fragmentary state awards for good grades, good behavior or something else. And so it goes in life, not knowing what happiness is, and meets a man who says: "I am happy!" She takes him to her. It takes 2-3 years, and she does not feel happiness.
The main task of the parents - to convey to their children the meaning of happiness. And if a woman brings and cultivates a sense of quiet joy, it solves two problems at once.
Error number 5: You do not raise affection in children h3> My friend has a daughter who is 3 years. When she approaches him, he immediately shows affection. By and large, nature shows the pattern of behavior of the girl. If the woman had behaved all the time so that the man would not have any chance of staying indifferent But where this all is lost with age? Why, when you start talking to a woman, you need as much time to wait for it to cling to you? When women have children, they did it unconsciously. Why do they need to teach it again?
This anxiety. Experience from previous relationships. When the girl cheated three times, she begins to think: "What if he does not need? Suddenly he would alienate me? »
When I put myself in it, I will say a kind word, then it will not be a bad release. Similarly, our children. First - you should always take their feelings. If my daughter is crying, you can never tell her that she was crying because of nonsense. I must say that you would have wept in her place. We need to empathize One of the tools is to make it clear to your child that he's all right. It must be said: "In any situation, I'm with you." And you have to stop yourself from moralizing. Many people say, "I'm in any situation with you, but you listen to when I was your age ..." And it starts ...
Error number 6: You do not give a man talking h3> A man should learn to speak. When he's not talking, a woman feels unnecessary. The problem is that they make plans alone and do not discuss them with the woman. If he says: "Today, I'm working for three years to buy us a house," - the woman gladly support it. In the eyes of the man, if he lives with her, she comes home and eats the soup, then - he loves her. But the woman is not clear. Women ask: "How do I know what he looks at me a little late coming and sleeping in the other room?" When I ask this question to men, they say, "Well, I did it! Everything is fine. " With women need to talk. We must say: "I'm tired. Prepare a dish that's me. " And she'll be happy.
How to communicate to men that you need?
The fact that women see detail. That is up from the fragments of the big picture. And men see the big picture. When a woman does something and asks the man: "Well?" - In his head explodes. He thinks that if he says, and does not fall, it will be a scandal.
There is one good game. When your man asks you to do something, for example, asks you where his shirt, or asks to make tea, you tell him the following: "Three important for me the word and I'll tell you where your shirt" or "5 tender words, and you will have the best tea in the world. " Men really need to train for a while to ensure that it is constantly telling you these words. Later, he will independently use this tool.
Error number 7: You are not aware of its beauty h3> Why does a woman when out on the street for hours standing at the mirror and wants to look a little better for strangers, but can not find the time to look good at home for your men? This is because women are concerned about public opinion. Her man is nearby. It is much more important that the man is not to say something wonderful, and some stranger tell her husband about what his beautiful wife.
It's not exactly a healthy position and it must be eradicated. I believe that to be beautiful - it's a job for a woman for life. No matter how old she is. No matter whom she works. In no case can not run itself.
Simple techniques to be happy: h3> Think about it: "What a pleasure to deliver myself today?» Pass 4 kilometers a day on foot. It should not be "500 meters is now 500 - later." It should take just 4 kilometers away. Drink water! Depression washed out from the body. Say to yourself, "I approve of myself!" As often as possible. In short: do in the morning is that you love. And a good day to start. And there is another good tip: once a week, do not do anything. Nothing at all. You can not fill the bed, eat yogurt, go to the fitness room and more. This is a very important procedure. many, I went to Tibet to find answers about happiness. Did not find. It was cold, hungry and scared. I was there for three weeks, and once a week I had the opportunity to ask the sage monk. My secret of happiness is that there are no guarantees. The world is unstable. Everything can change at any moment. And if today I will not take the maximum, then tomorrow I regret.
Written by a practicing psychologist Anna Iotko
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