Pearls university teachers

Study has just begun, and the students have full-spread Internet humorous sayings of their teachers. Yes, time flies by through lectures wit professors!

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• The king had three sons: one wise, the other so-so, and the third ... well, let's say, a linguist and theoretician. Assume we agency and produce lint. For example ... beer. Students' time, not in order to learn, I do remember. - And we will learn to break the law?
  - Well, what else taught in law school?
  
  
  
  
  • Teacher students latecomers:
    - Close the door on the back side! I saw you in the dining room - you glutton! You prefer eating bodily spiritual food! The second semester you have learned at the entrance to the auditorium to close the door behind him. I am appalled by their own pedagogical talent.
    
    • the lecture has already expired? So what are you silent ?! Just say: "Scheherazade, interrupt your speech!" - And I immediately go ... The laws in Russia are such that if they begin to observe, then everything will collapse! Do not We chat. All transformed into one big ear.
      
      
      
      
      • On fizpraktikume:
        - Why do not you put two tasks?
        - I was sick ...
        - Terminally ill?
        - Well, not quite ...
        - And why have survived?
        - It so happened.
      • Math is not a reason to smile. Scientists - light, and the result is sad. - But you lecture said that ...
        - Oh, you never know what I said at the lecture!
      • Your task is not only to set off, but in the summer to work up the constitutional Zhirkov. To You realize it is necessary to simplify ... But this does not apply to a thesis! It's all the same the other way around: the language should be such that there were only clear associations, prepositions and interjections. - Why do not you come to me for the first couple?
        - Because we have not been scheduled for the first pair.
        - Could and come!
        
        
        
        
        • On the standings:
          - I have to put you 5. I do it to the balls in your head cranked and you went out all such inspired. This specialist - someone who can always prove that there was not a puncture his fault. Let's do this: without a break, but let go for 5 minutes early. I see, I do not interested. Ok, released on 6 minutes earlier. The exam:
          - How much do I have students? 7? Mmm, so much! I am too lazy ... Well'll go Spurs look for, the smaller will be.
        • So, pull out handkerchiefs, now we will listen to the heart-rending story about why Ivanov late.
          
          
          
          
          • On taking tests:
            - You must answer the question, and I do not write nonsense, which I read at the lecture! Most of the known works of Aristotle - a record of his students. Record lectures, colleagues!
          • I have something pondered this theorem, in my opinion, it is wrong. Well, okay, let's prove, and then we'll see.
            
            
            
            
            
            
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