Teaching these "pearls" will make you laugh to tears!

Many of us probably with a smile on his face recalled his student days, it is no wonder the wise men say it's the best time of your life. Do not be surprised if you had a favorite teacher at the institute to which you ran headlong into pairs. And by the way, not because it is the subject of an interesting or useful, no. Just this teacher genius gave such gems, and jokes that students currently bellies bursting with laughter. These teach even to the exams were not afraid to go because they are discharged and there is tense situation his terrific sense of humor.

Today, , we will open for you a treasure chest - the most hilarious jokes faculty who can disassemble the quotes. Well, as soon as they get it? Apparently, being a teacher - is not just a profession but a vocation. About these "frames" are legendary, and their quotes are something akin to student folklore, which is transmitted by word of mouth from year to year. Brilliant teachers saying that his words will not come back, cause a smile on your face.

Lecture on Philosophy.
- Pray all know how?
- No.
- Do not worry, all will learn before the exam.

- Who is the chief military prosecutor of the Russian Federation? Anyone who says test machine. I swear.
The silence in the audience.
- Actually, I do not know. You could call any name.

Once on the first pair:
- I welcome you into this misty morning on the subject of no less foggy.

I actually spoke to you, I have a general scope.

Of course, until the AGM of the formula I did not know, but I advise you!

- PF, what fool wrote this crap?
- Actually, this is your textbook.
- What a year it?
- Of 2011.
- I've changed my mind.

Only economists, mathematicians and historians do not drink too much in difficult situations!

All employers know that good students and have time to learn, and work, and bad students ... Soldiers - do not have.

Wishes to take early may enroll in the department and circle his name in the black frame.

Kepler's laws stipulate. First, at least, says ...

On a couple of stories:
- There they tore his hair, now I'll show you this.

Think quickly! There is even one among you sober?

Among all these formulas, I have not written one ... I do not remember consciously did or not.

The equation of state I was unable to write.

Now, you probably already clueless.

You can check my answer with the help of mathematics. If you will not, then you are wrong!

I already tired of the hand to write this equation. Therefore, append it themselves. Meanwhile, I move on to the next topic.

Lecturers decided to share preferences:
- I do not like honors. Will come a time, all will pass and go, the more we will see. But with the fifth Losers retake already about the meaning of life can talk.

On taking tests:
- You must answer the question, and I do not write nonsense, which I read at the lecture!

Today you have a humanitarian and tomorrow wash planetarium.

Teacher says in a lecture:
- Tasks will be interesting. One of them is now solved the whole Department. If you decide, we will include it in the examination paper.

Do not remember me - it is like a strange woman: I do not know where to press to make it work.

I understand when you are writing a check addressed to the Internet. You know what? You should have turned to Jesus ...

Seminar on linear algebra:
- Where is Oleg?
- It was bad.
- And who is now well?

We will not pull the cat in all its details!

Before setting off:
- I can put all your tests machine, want? Only if you promise that none of you will be working in the profession.

By the way, thanks to attentive students who have time not only to record the lecture, but also manage to "catch" all the pearls of their teachers. With this brilliant aptly put some teachers have become aphorisms, which quoted a generation of young people.


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