Three important lessons of married life Bashny.Net

Listen to each druguKolumnist men's online magazine The Art of Manliness Brozenton Marcus tells what valuable lessons he had taken out of the seventeen years of marriage and their own experience of their parents.

Today, there are lots of advice for people who have strengthened their relationship by marriage. The abundance of tips proves that we do not care about the family institution, and we try to make it better, and it is said that, when it is coming to the wedding, it turns out that we have enough knowledge about marriage. I still lean towards the first hypothesis.


I have been married for 17 years, and practical wisdom have not uzhilas with me. However, many years has lived with his wife, I learned three important lessons.

This applies to both spouses, but a large part of the responsibility, I lay on the men, since they have to take the first step. Here are three ways that will help preserve and strengthen marriage.





1. Understand that the "normal" life, both spouses are responsible got this tip two years before his marriage from a friend of my father, who specializes in such matters. He said that the main problem in the marriage, in his view, lies in the fact that his wife is not looking at some things through the eyes of her husband and, therefore, there is no harmony in marriage. Or, conversely, a man does something wrong.

As it is obvious that men and women different on physical parameters, just as obvious that they are different and psychologically h4> The problem is that one spouse lays the basis of their family relationship model of behavior.

But if the actions of the other spouse deviate from bases far-fetched, they are considered abnormal. You see the problem?

As it is obvious that men and women differ in terms of physical parameters, just as it is obvious that they are different and psychologically. Yes, a set of instincts in men and women is the same, but they perceive the world differently.

One of the best solutions - each pair must learn to appreciate and to take the opinion of your partner, to see the difference between male and female perceptions of the problem and not to pretend that they do not exist, or to deal with them.

For example, the pope wants to remove the auxiliary wheels of the bike his young son, but my mother strongly opposed this, believing that the son has grown up enough.

My mother in this situation looking at the problem from the classical feminine position - the safety of the child is paramount. And at that moment the pope wants for their child's independence and tries to awaken in him independence.

Solution: try to take the perspective of each of the spouses and discuss it together.

2. Understand that the problems do not disappear just because you are in brakeMne gave this advice, two weeks after my wedding. Like all newlyweds, we also had misunderstandings because of the things that I seem trivial - for example, where to hang a wet towel, but it was the little things and led to serious disagreements.

I called my best friend, whom he had known since high school. Although we were the same age, but he has been married for 7 years, and I think he knows how to get out of this situation.

I complained over the fact that, in my opinion, in a marriage should be all the easier. My wife and I together create a center, and the house - a place where a cozy and comfortable and where not swear because of the towels and stuff.

My friend then said, "Of course, the house - a place where there should be peace, but with its own subtleties. This constant communication with your partner, as well as the desire to create a strong marriage. It is difficult to wait for a light family life at its very beginning, I will not put this much effort. " After graduating from university it is not so simple. Get a job too easy. To achieve success in their careers - hard work. As well as being a good parent. All this requires care, energy and perseverance, and at each new stage will have to learn something.

In fact, the problem is not with a wet towel. And that for your wife for some reason it reasonably important where it hangs. Try to understand what is important to her.

All the issues in dispute, even at first glance, nonsense, require careful care. And if in a few words, then try to understand and not be annoyed.





3. Like a good wine, the marriage soon becomes luchsheEtot advice was given to me by chance grandfather Bob Lynes.

When my grandfather was in his early fifties, my grandmother was seriously ill for several months and was in the hospital. For grandparents it was a great shock.

Unconditional love, perhaps the best love, which is to offer a husband to his wife, and every wife - her husband h4> When she got better, and she returned home, the grandfather said, "When I I was young, I could not live without his wife. But now - no way. " Over the years, his love for his grandmother only grew stronger.

Although many families love fades with age, fortunately, this is not always. Love may also be stronger if the couple start to understand each other better and appreciate more.

I married at 29, and then I felt self-sufficient free man. Of course, I respected and loved his wife. Nevertheless, being married, at the age of 46 years, I feel happy and content than in younger years.

This does not mean that, over time, I became less independent and capable. I want to be a much smaller one. I realized all the values ​​of marriage.

I recall the relationship of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. Although they both made a lot of mistakes and to their union, they have already been married, but Johnny and June's learned from his mistakes. In the end, they had lived together for 35 years.

June died in May 2003. Johnny held her hand when she left the world. After a couple of months, and Johnny died. Many have said that he is very much missed June and could not live without her.

When asked how they managed to maintain a strong marriage, Johnny replied:

«This is definitely love. June loves me no matter what. She saved my life many times. Her love was always there, it helped me forget about the pain for many years. When it gets dark, and everyone goes home, and the lights go out, there is no one in the world except us ».

blockquote> Unconditional love, perhaps, the best love that can offer the husband to his wife, and every wife - her husband.

And what's the best advice you have received about marriage?

via www.artofmanliness.com/2015/02/26/3-important-realizations-for-building-a-strong-and-lasting-marriage/