All I wanted to know about life in 20 years

Several observations are useful to anyone who is preparing to enter into adult zhizn

We publish a translation of an article of the popular American blogger Mark Manson a > blockquote> When I was 20, I had no goals. I just graduated from music school and had just shaved his long hair. I wanted to get out of Texas, but did not know how or where. I was smart, cocky, arrogant and very razdrazhitelnym.

Now I'm 30, and for the past 10 years much has changed. I built his own business, has visited many countries, I was able to start a career as a writer - this is something I could not foresee. Rate the dramatic changes that have occurred to me, you can only stop and look back. Here are some things I learned: 1. Time - your best aktivKogda you are young, your greatest asset is your talent, not your ideas and experience, and your time Friendship is either there or it is not. I also found that it is very rare to predict what friends will stay with you for a long time, and which are not. I left Boston in the fall of 2009 and returned eight months later. Many of those who were close to me at that moment, when I left, not much of a hurry to call me when I returned. And some quite casual acquaintances gradually became the closest of friends. This does not mean that the first group of people - people are bad, or that they are not good friends. There's no one's fault. It's just zhizn.3. You do not have to achieve all of its tseleyEsli man lived two decades, he usually learns to focus on your goals. You want to perform tasks X, Y and Z, and you are doing them either, or not. If you do it - great. If there is something there. However, 20 I learned that life is, in fact, does not work that way. Of course, it's nice to always have some goals and always have a direction in which to work, but I found that the objectives of irrelevant otnositsya.Kogda I turned 24, I sat down and made a list of goals that I would like to achieve 30. The goals were ambitious, and to list this I took very seriously. At least the first few years. Today I was able to reach about a third of those objectives. I made significant progress, and for the purposes of the second third. But with the last third of all remained in prezhnemu.Ya firmly convinced that the meaning of all these goals at 80% is to force us to do anything, and only 20% to get to reach some specific point. The value of any undertaking is almost always in the process of failure and retries, but do not end dostizhenii.

4. In fact, no one really knows what he delaetNa children to school very much under pressure, so they know exactly what they will do with their lives. It begins with the selection of the university in which they will do after school. Then he will have the choice of work. Then there will be the choice of the way to help climb the corporate ladder, and possibly get to the very top of her step. Then there will be a wedding, then the children. < But the truth is that almost no one has any idea what he was doing in his 20 years , and I'm pretty confident that this is going on in their later life . Quite simply treated their current best predlozhenie.Ya rarely have a clue about what he was doing. I keep getting emails from people wanting to know how I built his own business, when I decided to become a writer and what was my original business plan. The truth is that I never knew nothing of these things. They just happened. I drew attention to the opportunities and act in accordance with them. Most of these actions ended in failure. But I was young and could afford failure. In the end, I was lucky enough to find its own way to do what I like and do it horosho.5. Most people in the world basically want zheSvoy of the business I started in an amazing industry, which has led me to some interesting places and allowed me to meet interesting people. I visited more than 50 countries. I learned several languages ​​and communicated with both the rich and the poor in rich countries and in the Third mira.I I found that in a broader perspective, people generally want the same . All spend most of their time worrying about food, money, work or family - it makes even the rich and well-fed lyudi.Vseh want to look cool and feel important birds, even the coolest and vazhnye.Kazhdy has concerns and anxiety that they are prevented, no matter how much he uspeshen.V the end, I learned not to judge people by who they are, but by what they do. For example, some very kind people I met were people who were not supposed to be kind to people like me. And you do not realize who you are dealing with, until this man will spend plenty of time. Pay attention to what he does, not how it looks, what it is sex, and so on. E.6. The world does not care about vasMysl, which at first glance seems terrible, "Do all to spit on me?" But it gets released when it comes to man the true smysl.Kak once said David Foster Wallace:

«You stop worrying about what others think of you, when you know how seldom they do». Blockquote> You, me, and all that we do, will ever be forgotten. It will be as if we had never existed at all, even if it is not. Everybody will not care. About the same as now all do not care what you actually said or what you did with your zhiznyu.Na really is good news: it means that you can get away with a lot of stupid things done and people will forget and Forgive your life is simple, people - kind, and the chasm that divide us, often just cracked .

8. The collection of little things which are much larger things remember reading an interview with Dustin Moskovitz, co-founder of the network Facebook. The journalist asked Dustin what it's like to feel part of "overnight success» Facebook? He said something like this:

«If by" overnight success "you mean coding throughout the night, every night, for six years, then I feel very weary ». blockquote> We tend to believe that things just happen by themselves. As bystanders, we tend to see only the end result is anything but not heavy process (and failure) that occurred to this result was finally achieved. I think when we are young, we sit in this idea, what we have to do something big that will change the world. We dream about it, because by virtue of his youth does not understand all the "big things" is actually composed of hundreds or thousands of daily details that simply and quietly done for a very long time. Welcome to zhizn.9. The world is not such a terrible mestoYa was a huge number of dangerous places, both inside and outside the United States. So, when possible, most people are helpful and kind. If there is any practical advice that I would like to give everyone a 20-year-old, then here it is: determine the travel route , and if I had doubted - talk with other people, ask them, get to know them. This council has virtually no weaknesses and is useful to everyone, especially if he is still young and vpechatlitelen.10. Your parents also lyudiI Finally, perhaps the biggest disappointment for 20 years: most likely, your parents as a child lied to you about many things. Many people do this (as my mother likes to say, "Children are not born with instruction manuals"). And most likely, you start to notice all parental oversight, when you turn 20


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