1129
Midlife crisis in women
Unfortunately, the mid-life crisis can not be avoided. We have collected all of the major symptoms of this muck. Hold on, we are with you!
That's just that everything was just fine. You're a big girl, and already know what is important and what - husks and footprints in the sand leading to the beach toilet. Do you have a family, work and friends, time-tested. And fun dog who understands you perfectly. You are still young and beautiful. But what is so sad something, eh? Why so sad?
And that, my dear, for you selected a midlife crisis. And, unfortunately, can not be avoided. We have collected all of the major symptoms of this muck. Hold on, we are with you!
Symptom 1. You think about it today
"I'll think about it tomorrow" - a quote ingenious. Because true. You still have all lived more than three decades. The problem is that tomorrow has become today. Of course, some issues are no longer current - you do not have to think about why you Petrishchev changed so mean, you're already 15 years as a married lawyer Kolbasova and Petrishchev runs a car mechanic and takes a loan to buy a refrigerator, ha ha ha. But there is still a lot of questions, and the worst - the question "What would I be when I grow up." Because it sounds now as: "What do I become when I'm older?". I want to immediately become ashes, lay quietly yourself in a beautiful green malachite urn and not think about anything. Because I think - is intolerable.
Yield: do not think it does not, alas. Thinking positively will not work, too, Abandon hope, all ye who enter who lived to 35. And the usual psychotropic medications do not help: drunk, are you including on YouTube kozloborodogo Grebenshchikov, and this - the right path into the abyss. Because your recent fifteen, is farther from you than your future fifty.
If the case is very bad, do not torment her flimsy internal resource, but go to the doctor. He will give a magic pill, and life is not that sparkle with colors - it just comes back. And if things are not so bad - prose! Horses in midstream is not being said. Coffee - the horse is black, pizza - horse ryzh ... - white horse, morning - Bled horse. At least something does not change, yes?
Symptom 2 You do not recognize yourself in the mirror
Because there - not quite a girl. Natural this is not quite the girl - wrinkles, extinct eyes and dull rags instead of mermaids hair. Your body has changed you. It you basely betrayed. It should not have been so early age! Or consciousness also had to grow old, but inside something you can not more than twenty-five. Bring it back!
Yield: any strange situation, shake your ass. No, it's true fit advice - even if you are slender as a cypress tree, you lose muscle mass and fat - increased. It is the nature. From her point of view, it's time you stop looking for roots and berries in a radius of one hundred kilometers, but it is time umostitsya cave and maintain focus. Horror. Nature generally heartless creature, and that you understand just that. When it became clear that genetics are powerless against creams, injections and cryotherapy.
On the other hand - beat the enemy with his own weapon. Your sadness about the inevitable aging powerless against endorphins, which you boil right in the moment when you first charge someone in the jaw. We want to say - do not go to yoga. This is for the girls and old women. Go to boxing, taekwondo, or kickboxing. You are now absolutely necessary not only to move and grow muscle, but also someone to thrash bloody snot. Impunity.
Symptom 3 You're scared of separation from children
Caution Information! Because your children are likely to almost teenagers. And they have there own crisis. Of course, you have imagined, they leave you - old mother, wrapped in tattered Orenburg shawl. And sincerely mourned their bitter lot. And itself in puberty do you remember? Rodaki do not understand because they do not understand anything! So - we let go of your sins: it's not you create all sorts of lewdness, it's your parents suffered a midlife crisis, and imagined themselves trilobites. Do not repeat their mistakes, huh?
Yield: you're born in the late seventies - early eighties, right? Reports: Kostya Kinchev not just alive. He still looks like a wild cat tattered and sings about the fact that a compromise is not for us. And still room charges so that even the fans "Tender May" fall into a fit of nostalgia. Go with your child - you will not regret. Offspring will like you - charge. Tickets - five thousand. To be with the child on the same wavelength - is priceless. Tested by the author himself on the living.
Symptom 4 You might want another child
Mjaken'kaja sweet mladenchika. And you want it, not because you're afraid of being separated from their children. You just count how many eggs you have some left, and became hysterical. This is - just about everything will break? Reproductive system for so many years you served faithfully - in the sense that prevent you live normally and all the nerves exhausted infection - and now all that is right? What a nightmare! No less true nightmare - the thought of how at that age normally make and give birth without having lost the last crumbs of health. And how to bring up without the help of grandparents - because they themselves have needed help.
Yield: Giving advice in such matters - it is bad. Therefore, we will not give them to you, baa baa baa. Although there is no - one will give: it will take about fifteen years before you say to yourself - get off this horse died. That is, if you give birth to now, the time of the collapse of your reproductive system you will Readily teenager. That we are so thick hints that you have time to think.
5. Symptom you chase two hares
It is inevitable in any case. If you are spitting on any losers from the summit of his career - you'll be sorry that little time on the family. If you are devoted herself to her husband, children and home - you will regret wasted years. Could the fact and come up with a cure for cancer. Well, if you managed to place and as a professional, and as a mother, wife and mistress - you'll regret that too little of time to herself.
Yield: compete with yesterday's graduates already late, in fact. It's not the boys and girls, and natural hyenas - snack rails, laughing. Family life begins again too somehow strange works - do not touch. But now is the time to do them. Honestly, in 20 years you would not have understood what the buzz therapeutic massage. No bruised same? And now you'll understand. Guaranteed.
Symptom 6. You decide that terminally ill
The spot on her cheek - is not the result of excessive smoking and melanoma evil, of course. Chest pain is not because you are too much sitting at the computer, but because your flaming engine is worn out and will stop tomorrow. Probably, you will die of a heart attack. Or a stroke. That, in essence, the better - because otherwise you will visit tomorrow Alzheimer's. Or Parkinson's, and Huntington Addison, and many other interesting men. In fact, the only interesting men that you will now be attending. Well, Kondratiev still here.
Out: See a doctor. He will find you in the assays something nasty from which do not die and not even that bad live. But! 20 years from the muck certainly will be felt, if not immediately give up bad habits and delicious food.
Table number five, fresh air, the regime of the day. Scary recommendation better to the morgue. So, actually, you have to think. And do you think that you have come, it is twenty years of normal life rather than six months of agony before the tragic, untimely death.
Symptom 7. You start to think in the subjunctive mood
And if you're not married Kolbasova, it would go beyond the Prince of Monaco. Although there is no - he bald and ugly. But you could be a famous figure skater. That's if your mother is not lazy to carry you to the rink for seven in the morning. Such data is lost! And your talent designer of railway bridges, standing blighted pregnancy? Where is he now, why do you proektiruesh hotel bathrooms? Life is lived, polymers prosrali. Amen.
Output: You are certainly very clever, but your brain - a stupid fool. He is, you see, is absolutely unimportant whether further generation of young man you remember a kind word. He needs you right now is happy and proud. He's all the same - though the bridge, although a trained rat, though Brad Pitt pastel written as a living. Give him - and themselves - even a tiny reason to be proud of you. And a.
8. Symptom You try to find meaning in life
And, of course, you will not find. And if it is not - it is better at once in the loop, what on earth is to suffer? That early idea was to learn something new. For the first time in love. For the first time to pass a difficult test excellently. For the first time to give birth. For the first time to realize that everything stupid and not treated. And now for that nowhere - everything is tested, to comprehend, to experience. Romantic moment is lost, what a pity.
Yield: Psychologists are usually advised to begin to travel, think of yourself some fascinating hobby, well, or a lover to have finally - worse, it will not, because there's nowhere worse. But it's all lies. In the sense - about the fact that will not be worse. You could freeze to death on Mount Everest, to break his two legs at the ballet machine and become a victim of gigolo. But this is, frankly, very unlikely.
But to get a lot of new experiences, suddenly turn a hobby into a new and exciting profession and to fall in love - even in the new man, though again in her own husband - easily. Moreover - this is what usually happens on the midlife crisis makes us a pen and begins a wonderful new life. And if she does not start, you can start a live raccoon. In the first place - he has such lovely ruchenki. And secondly - now you just a big girl, and you can do anything. After all, everything is possible, too, and raccoon. Hooray!
That's just that everything was just fine. You're a big girl, and already know what is important and what - husks and footprints in the sand leading to the beach toilet. Do you have a family, work and friends, time-tested. And fun dog who understands you perfectly. You are still young and beautiful. But what is so sad something, eh? Why so sad?
And that, my dear, for you selected a midlife crisis. And, unfortunately, can not be avoided. We have collected all of the major symptoms of this muck. Hold on, we are with you!
Symptom 1. You think about it today
"I'll think about it tomorrow" - a quote ingenious. Because true. You still have all lived more than three decades. The problem is that tomorrow has become today. Of course, some issues are no longer current - you do not have to think about why you Petrishchev changed so mean, you're already 15 years as a married lawyer Kolbasova and Petrishchev runs a car mechanic and takes a loan to buy a refrigerator, ha ha ha. But there is still a lot of questions, and the worst - the question "What would I be when I grow up." Because it sounds now as: "What do I become when I'm older?". I want to immediately become ashes, lay quietly yourself in a beautiful green malachite urn and not think about anything. Because I think - is intolerable.
Yield: do not think it does not, alas. Thinking positively will not work, too, Abandon hope, all ye who enter who lived to 35. And the usual psychotropic medications do not help: drunk, are you including on YouTube kozloborodogo Grebenshchikov, and this - the right path into the abyss. Because your recent fifteen, is farther from you than your future fifty.
If the case is very bad, do not torment her flimsy internal resource, but go to the doctor. He will give a magic pill, and life is not that sparkle with colors - it just comes back. And if things are not so bad - prose! Horses in midstream is not being said. Coffee - the horse is black, pizza - horse ryzh ... - white horse, morning - Bled horse. At least something does not change, yes?
Symptom 2 You do not recognize yourself in the mirror
Because there - not quite a girl. Natural this is not quite the girl - wrinkles, extinct eyes and dull rags instead of mermaids hair. Your body has changed you. It you basely betrayed. It should not have been so early age! Or consciousness also had to grow old, but inside something you can not more than twenty-five. Bring it back!
Yield: any strange situation, shake your ass. No, it's true fit advice - even if you are slender as a cypress tree, you lose muscle mass and fat - increased. It is the nature. From her point of view, it's time you stop looking for roots and berries in a radius of one hundred kilometers, but it is time umostitsya cave and maintain focus. Horror. Nature generally heartless creature, and that you understand just that. When it became clear that genetics are powerless against creams, injections and cryotherapy.
On the other hand - beat the enemy with his own weapon. Your sadness about the inevitable aging powerless against endorphins, which you boil right in the moment when you first charge someone in the jaw. We want to say - do not go to yoga. This is for the girls and old women. Go to boxing, taekwondo, or kickboxing. You are now absolutely necessary not only to move and grow muscle, but also someone to thrash bloody snot. Impunity.
Symptom 3 You're scared of separation from children
Caution Information! Because your children are likely to almost teenagers. And they have there own crisis. Of course, you have imagined, they leave you - old mother, wrapped in tattered Orenburg shawl. And sincerely mourned their bitter lot. And itself in puberty do you remember? Rodaki do not understand because they do not understand anything! So - we let go of your sins: it's not you create all sorts of lewdness, it's your parents suffered a midlife crisis, and imagined themselves trilobites. Do not repeat their mistakes, huh?
Yield: you're born in the late seventies - early eighties, right? Reports: Kostya Kinchev not just alive. He still looks like a wild cat tattered and sings about the fact that a compromise is not for us. And still room charges so that even the fans "Tender May" fall into a fit of nostalgia. Go with your child - you will not regret. Offspring will like you - charge. Tickets - five thousand. To be with the child on the same wavelength - is priceless. Tested by the author himself on the living.
Symptom 4 You might want another child
Mjaken'kaja sweet mladenchika. And you want it, not because you're afraid of being separated from their children. You just count how many eggs you have some left, and became hysterical. This is - just about everything will break? Reproductive system for so many years you served faithfully - in the sense that prevent you live normally and all the nerves exhausted infection - and now all that is right? What a nightmare! No less true nightmare - the thought of how at that age normally make and give birth without having lost the last crumbs of health. And how to bring up without the help of grandparents - because they themselves have needed help.
Yield: Giving advice in such matters - it is bad. Therefore, we will not give them to you, baa baa baa. Although there is no - one will give: it will take about fifteen years before you say to yourself - get off this horse died. That is, if you give birth to now, the time of the collapse of your reproductive system you will Readily teenager. That we are so thick hints that you have time to think.
5. Symptom you chase two hares
It is inevitable in any case. If you are spitting on any losers from the summit of his career - you'll be sorry that little time on the family. If you are devoted herself to her husband, children and home - you will regret wasted years. Could the fact and come up with a cure for cancer. Well, if you managed to place and as a professional, and as a mother, wife and mistress - you'll regret that too little of time to herself.
Yield: compete with yesterday's graduates already late, in fact. It's not the boys and girls, and natural hyenas - snack rails, laughing. Family life begins again too somehow strange works - do not touch. But now is the time to do them. Honestly, in 20 years you would not have understood what the buzz therapeutic massage. No bruised same? And now you'll understand. Guaranteed.
Symptom 6. You decide that terminally ill
The spot on her cheek - is not the result of excessive smoking and melanoma evil, of course. Chest pain is not because you are too much sitting at the computer, but because your flaming engine is worn out and will stop tomorrow. Probably, you will die of a heart attack. Or a stroke. That, in essence, the better - because otherwise you will visit tomorrow Alzheimer's. Or Parkinson's, and Huntington Addison, and many other interesting men. In fact, the only interesting men that you will now be attending. Well, Kondratiev still here.
Out: See a doctor. He will find you in the assays something nasty from which do not die and not even that bad live. But! 20 years from the muck certainly will be felt, if not immediately give up bad habits and delicious food.
Table number five, fresh air, the regime of the day. Scary recommendation better to the morgue. So, actually, you have to think. And do you think that you have come, it is twenty years of normal life rather than six months of agony before the tragic, untimely death.
Symptom 7. You start to think in the subjunctive mood
And if you're not married Kolbasova, it would go beyond the Prince of Monaco. Although there is no - he bald and ugly. But you could be a famous figure skater. That's if your mother is not lazy to carry you to the rink for seven in the morning. Such data is lost! And your talent designer of railway bridges, standing blighted pregnancy? Where is he now, why do you proektiruesh hotel bathrooms? Life is lived, polymers prosrali. Amen.
Output: You are certainly very clever, but your brain - a stupid fool. He is, you see, is absolutely unimportant whether further generation of young man you remember a kind word. He needs you right now is happy and proud. He's all the same - though the bridge, although a trained rat, though Brad Pitt pastel written as a living. Give him - and themselves - even a tiny reason to be proud of you. And a.
8. Symptom You try to find meaning in life
And, of course, you will not find. And if it is not - it is better at once in the loop, what on earth is to suffer? That early idea was to learn something new. For the first time in love. For the first time to pass a difficult test excellently. For the first time to give birth. For the first time to realize that everything stupid and not treated. And now for that nowhere - everything is tested, to comprehend, to experience. Romantic moment is lost, what a pity.
Yield: Psychologists are usually advised to begin to travel, think of yourself some fascinating hobby, well, or a lover to have finally - worse, it will not, because there's nowhere worse. But it's all lies. In the sense - about the fact that will not be worse. You could freeze to death on Mount Everest, to break his two legs at the ballet machine and become a victim of gigolo. But this is, frankly, very unlikely.
But to get a lot of new experiences, suddenly turn a hobby into a new and exciting profession and to fall in love - even in the new man, though again in her own husband - easily. Moreover - this is what usually happens on the midlife crisis makes us a pen and begins a wonderful new life. And if she does not start, you can start a live raccoon. In the first place - he has such lovely ruchenki. And secondly - now you just a big girl, and you can do anything. After all, everything is possible, too, and raccoon. Hooray!
