Previously it was believed that the crisis of middle age catches up with women in 30 years. Now, this date moved a little, and the crisis many have closer to 40.
Briefly describe the crisis: a woman bids farewell to its main resource: the youth person and youth of the body.
It sounds so terrible, that most women of a similar age, I'm sure, feel in reading these words of protest.
Types of protests are as follows:1.
"I'm the same as before and youth is to grow old with me"2.
"Patriarchy turns women into meat, but for the person beauty has no value"
First is denial, the second substitution of the thesis. Both – the rejection of consciousness.Awareness of the crisis is quite painful, but it is in understanding the crisis – early access.
Any crisis is based on the fact that a cycle is completed, the tools are outdated, a transition to another level.In psychology, the crisis is though difficult but happy moment, because he runs the dynamic changes, including the most favorable and constructive.
People are often afraid of crises, because the pose of the infantile expectations that something can be fixed forever, not developing, but without losing. Fortunately, the dynamics of life does not allow stagnation. People have time to change and get better, not to degrade.The transition from one level to the next without sticking in crisis is called initiation.
I already wrote that men undergo initiation (from boy to adult male) around the age of 20 years (in ancient times it happened that and 14), and women remain for long girls girls and forced to become a woman after 30, and now sometimes after 35.Male initiation is full of dangers
, difficulties, fears, desires to escape into a parallel world (of drugs and games), hatred to themselves and to society, which imposes too harsh requirements, but much of the initiation is easier for women. For example, in that little man to see a positive images – adult men who have great opportunities and respected status that can take an example and this example to strive for, forming an ego ideal.With women not. About any initiation (i.e., about finding new powers and higher status) but often do not have.
Crisis just looks like a premature old age. On the one hand, women clearly, in 35 years to old age yet, at least as much, and then one and a half times as much, and on the other hand, they just take away the resource (beauty and youth) without giving anything in return.
Please note, the expectation that something will give, is a rejection of initiation. If the boy will have to wait for that status in society, he simply will return to childhood, he will forever remain infantile, will decompose every year, instead of gain strength. Initiation means to take yourself investing a lot of work and effort, overcoming suffering and learn new ways of living. Initiation without self-initiative and Pro-activeness impossible.
Therefore, to blame the parents, the state, Patriarchy is not only useless, but harmful. In that time, attention should be directed to your own proactivity, self-initiative, using internal locus of control, one loses time looking for those who owed him favors. Fortunately, none of the debtors, even if they suddenly wanted to pay their debts, not able to help in the initiation. No external resources, the data just does not help to develop the inner, on the contrary, being in the availability, push the time of development.
Therefore, the desire of women to successfully pass the initiation and become a more happy, must begin with the rejection of the accusations towards those who something it not received in terms of external resources. Left separate housing is not put on the expense of the money left of the inheritance and good genetics. Were this all, initiation would be held not easier and maybe even harder.The difficulty, which I began to speak, and which deprived men, this is no way a grown, strong, happy woman that girls would like to take an example.
But it's not a reason hurt to look in the direction of men who have examples. Without an example to act, on the one hand, it is difficult, on the other hand, is easier.
Imagine a boy who survived infantile to 20 years, and now he needs to grow up quickly and become a "real man." It is clear that most did not grow up enough or stretch the process for a long time, but consider the task itself.
The boy sees successful men: some, even many, so much money that he never, ever earn such a status that he never reached, and it is very demotivates. To invest some efforts to simply a little lift over the social plinth, but remain very far from that level which is successful for men, and from a moral and from an energy point of view is very hard.Women do not have such a high bar.More precisely, have no or have lots of different, mixed.
It also discourages, but different. And leaves room for choice. And most importantly, it deprives the fear that "nothing happens". Because it is not clear what should happen, isn't it?
The competition of artists "Female triad", has shown that the most difficult part for most artists was the image of Diana (the archetype of the middle-aged women). Selena (the girl) was portrayed pretty easy, and pretty similar to each other, that is, the image is quite recognizable, typical, light delicate naive and the beautiful nymph. With Hecate (elderly lady) also special difficulties did not arise. But with Diana, as many have noticed – some dissonance. It is not very different from Selena, she's still a girl.
In life the same thing happens. Crisis is experienced as a "From Selene – Hecate" without Diana. And a big part of the experience is connected with the fact that Hecate 35-40 years to become a very early, especially in 30. But Selena's too late and, knowing this, many women experience resentment and anger. They feel that they are denied the right to be considered normal Villages that they like to push in the phase of Hecate, and she is premature.
The transition from Diana to Hecate, is a separate song. Usually the woman has not passed the initiation of Diana, this transition looks like. She is 20 years struggling to stay Selena: and in appearance and in behavior, and views of the world, and then tired to fight and takes Hecate, sometimes even earlier than it should. At some point, she's already happy that I finally made peace with Hecate. To Hecate she is tolerant, because it is very tired to fight with her. But it's worth it to fall in love or get into a situation bright spontaneity, she again turns to Selena. That is the real Hecate, she never comes, it's only decent dress, but not a new identity.
The secret is that Hecate never initiated by the woman, who has not passed the phase of Diana. It will remain essentially the same with Selena, but will hide behind the mask of Hecate (crooked). So she will pretend she is strong, wise, calm and self-assured, and in fact to expect that anyone will love Selena.
Please note that characterizes the transition from phase to phase, Selene, Diana, and Diana's phase to the phase of Hecate: the emergence of a new spontaneity.Spontaneity is the energy flow that one feels in a state of complete relaxation, euphoria, something that is associated for him with the experience of happiness, pleasure.
Very often, the spontaneity associated with the inner child, and this child is proposed to retain forever. Even Exupery sadly wrote that people have forgotten how to play and be children, and lose the creative energy and joy of life become dead. It really happens to people that have not passed the initiation and are not matured for real
. Their spontaneity left the nursery, but they crush it and hide, to look older. But look just boring. Therefore, for these people it is even useful to find a child and make him at least a little. It even helps to treat symptoms that often arise from conflict with spontaneity.
However, if the spontaneity of the human will forever remain children, this maturation does not occur. Spontaneity when you initiate needs to change. For example, changing the cat in the picture of the triad Daria Eiguliai:
And most commentators immediately recognized that these symbols are.
If the spontaneity of a person always remains a kitten, he never Matures. Spontaneity needs to maintain the liveliness and spontaneity, and the beauty of chaos, but find with age POWER. The kitten is not worse than the lynx, but the lynx stronger, and Panther even more.
While spontaneity though men, though women remain a gentle cat, they are children, and any important and severe mask them – just a mask, deep down, they dream to return to childhood or early adolescence. The adult role of their burdens. Neither lynx nor Panther does not weigh their strength, they are completely spontaneous at the same time, but in the relaxed state the power is not going away.
Interestingly, none of the artists have not represented the fundamental difference between Selena from Diana, even though I wrote about it. Remember, I mentioned, in which case the body of Diana is beautiful and not only not inferior to the body of Selena, but in some ways surpasses it? In that case, if a woman develops muscles.
It is a strong body with developed muscles allows her to be beautiful, otherwise it will become swollen or withered, Selena. As the slender young man is beautiful, but not beautiful muscular men and skinny girl is not more beautiful women, which has developed muscles. Without muscle a woman's body is doomed to decay, but the muscles do not allow the skin to fade, spread it in the same way as before the subcutaneous fatty tissue.Chubby infant cheeks in an adult may not be, but he is able to obtain another beauty of the face:
bright and clear lines, but only if you do not have a lot of excess fat and fluid in the body and relieve muscles. Is bright and clear lines are something worse than children's faces, most of which are similar to each other?
Look at pictures of women that are doing fitness (but without fanaticism and chemistry). And 30, and 40, and even 50, their body is still very beautiful (the face too if they are not dried too much).
Diana can't be less beautiful than Selena, by definition, because Diana is the Prime of life. But if Diana doesn't build muscle, it will look limp and drooping Selena.
The youth credit is the stock of childishness, of which up to 25-30 many women enough, and then they try to support it injections, makeup, hungry diets, trying to look like jailbait.
However, nymphets they look unless the photo is of poor quality, and looking rather miserable aunts. "Poor aunt" — the lot of women and generally human, which instead of develop something new, seeks to preserve the obsolete and does not need anyone.The same applies to behavior.
To be touching, to be naive, to be obedient, sometimes cheeky and harmless – well, when you're a small creature. Adult captivated by the story, fascinated by innocence, making obedience pricked harmless insolence, and take custody and control.
This will help to survive to adult from all that he has acquired the rights to his baby. Yes, and his tenderness, and love. But is this behavior that must be cultivated? Yes, to cultivate all his life, until old age?The main fear of moving from Selena to Diana is that the woman is afraid of losing custody, becoming strong.
She refuses to develop strength, because the pleasure from this is not yet imagine, but is afraid of losing what we have. This is how to get out of the closet in an unfamiliar world. And suddenly it is cold and raining and in the closet warm and dry, though cramped. At this point I think there is a famous Ibsen play "a Doll's house".However, the act of initiation is harsh.
If the person passes initiation, he plunged into a crisis. Women are afraid to become stronger, trying to be dolls, but children's dresses are becoming close and look all the more ridiculous. And now the men for whom they clung, pushed them, changing them to more youthful. Because of this, women begin to feel that men are traitors and enemies. But it was quite different.
While the woman remains a girl, age really will make it only worse. The man who used to live with a girl, but discovers suddenly that his girl does not look like a girl, and girly mannerisms look silly on it, to start to dream to change it to a real girl.
If the girl gradually Mature, not just grow old flower that looks and tastes men also gradually changed. A grown woman is so interesting for adult men, that not a single girl could make it competitive. But the old girl a young girl could make competition may not only be, but also easy to get around. Just because she's a real girl, not a curve copy.
Read also: What women wantWhat is wrong with you?
Let's stop and talk about what is initiation Selena in Diana and what to do to the woman that gradually has to grow up and buy a nice power without losing any spontaneity, neither sexuality nor love of men (and women), but rather enhancing both.published
© Marina Komissarova
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©