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WHAT TYPE OF PERSON - schizoid?
We call them introverts. People who do not like loud, bright, loud, a lot ... However, in psychoanalysis accustomed to a different name - schizoid personality type.
We call them introverts. People who do not like loud, bright, loud, a lot ... However, in psychoanalysis accustomed to a different name - schizoid personality type. "My favorite ..." - these words, the American psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams (Nancy McWilliams) starts a lecture.
Expert
Nancy McWilliams (Nancy McWilliams), a psychoanalyst. Author of "Psychoanalytic diagnostics" (class 2006), which describes the various types of identity (narcissistic, hysterical, depressive, schizoid, and others), to show their particular similarities and differences prevailing emotions and passions, drive and protection; It describes how people perceive themselves and how they see its surrounding.
"Such people are few, 1-2%. They do not like when they get too close, and often scare people with his special behavior. Many believe their "not so." But they got used to it. After my book came out, I was often approach readers to thank for the information, which has helped to themselves or to work. But people schizoid personality type send me emails that say "thank you." They are grateful for the fact that in my description does not even hint at them strangely exaggerated.
People schizoid personality type as a defense mechanism used detachment. They go - from people, alone in a world of their own fantasies. They always choose the distance, and they do not need other distorting protection: denial, dissociation (separating themselves from their unpleasant experiences) displacement. Perhaps, however, they often recognize processes that occur in other unconsciously. The Americans have a saying: "The elephant in the room, but no one notices." People schizoid personality type always see this elephant and surprised that it is invisible to others. But when they try to talk about the elephant, they are seen as crazy. In order to avoid difficulties in communication, they prefer a class, which you can indulge in solitude. In order not to be in the group command. Many of them are engaged in creative work, interested in philosophy, spiritual practices, meditation ...
However, we are unlikely to meet human schizoid personality type that has at least some degree would not be the desire for affection. But there is a problem: trying to close, they are experiencing congestion by excessive proximity, it suppresses and oppresses them. They usually feel better in the company of children and pets. I recently asked a question, like whether people with schizoid personality type and autism. I think they have something in common. For example, they both do not like excessive attention. But there is one significant difference - autistics do not understand the feelings of others. They do not know that the child should embrace ... But they can teach it. A person with schizoid personality type from the beginning know that the child should be taken into his arms. But he can not do it, it is removed from contact in every way, because it is unbearable for him.
Their childhood
The child grows extremely sensitive. He responds to stimuli as if they hurt him. And for a variety of stimuli: sound, light, any changes tactile sensations (such as labels, scratching the skin). When we take such a child in his arms, he was not pressed and suspended, his body becomes stiff. Children with schizoid personality type often refuse the breast. They feel totally unprotected, and any contact is perceived as an intrusion, a violation of their integrity. Even if it's an invasion - mother's nipple in his mouth. We can assume that they have too thin a skin. (I once shared with his patient in this observation: I said that I like sitting next to the man with burns. Whom you need to have touched him, but can not do so because any touch unbearable. This metaphor seemed to her true and appropriate) . I repeat: as a defense man with schizoid personality type prefers to care. But the separation (separation) with anyone he feels very keenly. Why is that? The fact that he is so willing to allow to approach to itself the few and the loss of one of these people will mean the disappearance of the very important support system. Such people are bound to others, but in their company's hard not to feel lonely.
He and other
They can not stand the surface of communication. My husband was the person with schizoid personality type. On the rare occasions when I was able to persuade him to come with me to visit, he immediately found a child or a dog and spent the whole evening with them. Talk about what killed him. He needed a sincerity and honesty. That is why from the point of view of human-schizoid man-tantrums just ... a liar. The fact that the main defense hysteria - an exaggeration. Imagine how intonation woman can utter the phrase: "I am the one-and-a-ak was angry at his moo-oo-oo-Ms-ah!" For her, this way of communication - protection, she wants what she says , it is taken seriously, and it seems, if she says it quietly, she did not believe it. The combination of people with schizoid and hysterical personality types is hard. At the same time, between them there is a long love story. Women are hysterical male schizoid extremely attractive. They appreciate their honesty, integrity, self-sufficient ... And men love women schizoid-hysterical for sensitivity, warmth, emotionality. But together they can drive each other crazy. Because when she is bad, she is trying to move up closer to him, and he pushed back. When he sees that she is bad, he thinks that the best thing he can do for her is to leave her alone. She feels abandoned.
Their features
In people with schizoid personality type many contradictions. They seem to be excluded and uninterested, and themselves live with a deep desire for intimacy. They are self-sufficient, but need another person. Highly dispersed and highly attentive. (I remember the image of the absent-minded professor who is on the road, thinking about something difficult, always stumbles and falls ...) They seem to be inactive, and unemotional, but within them there is an active activity, seething emotions.
I once asked a psychoanalyst with schizoid personality type, psychology, why not much attention is paid to the dynamics of the schizoid? He replied, "You think we can venture some social movement?" Sometimes I think I'm in a sense, to speak after the silent community of lonely people ... which is not very good PR! But I do it sincerely. The inner life of a person with schizoid personality type is very attractive. If it is certain that you will not think him crazy, gradually trust you more, it will tell you a lot about the world of fantasy. My friend-schizoid once confessed that does not eat raisins. I assumed that she did not like the taste. "No, - she said - you do not understand, he could be a fly!" I told this to his other friend, whose husband schizoid. She immediately said that her husband also did not eat raisins. However, it argues otherwise: he does not trust the raisins, which is hidden in a bun. Fascinating! The whole world seems to animate them. In this sense, they are like children.
How to be with them?
I can give a few tips on how to work with people with schizoid personality type. However, they may be useful for normal daily communication.
Such people avoid contact, they are easy to scare. They need as much space, so they feel safe. The therapist must avoid invasion of the patient, I would not recommend to move forward too fast, ask inconvenient questions. That they did not feel "interesting clinical cases." They can not stand insincerity, lies, it is important to be absolutely truthful, real, honest.
Because of difficulties: often therapeutic relationship becomes more comfortable for them than the relationship with the real, ordinary people in ordinary life. You may find that even though people came to you with the desire to become more sociable, during treatment, and that he has not reached. Toward the end of therapy it should be a little push, asking him whether it was possible to solve the question with which he came.
It is important that a person with schizoid personality type know that you find it normal.
So people find it difficult to talk about feelings. Even if they want it. The very act of speaking to them painful. Try to find an indirect way of saying that it is important to: discuss the films, plays, music ... My colleague for weeks talking to the patient about ... pizza. In detail: where in the city do the best than she is so good and so on. At the same time they both realized that not talking about pizza, but the inner hunger, about what his suit. And what a man feels when experiencing the need for one thing, and it offers something quite different. "
We call them introverts. People who do not like loud, bright, loud, a lot ... However, in psychoanalysis accustomed to a different name - schizoid personality type. "My favorite ..." - these words, the American psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams (Nancy McWilliams) starts a lecture.
Expert
Nancy McWilliams (Nancy McWilliams), a psychoanalyst. Author of "Psychoanalytic diagnostics" (class 2006), which describes the various types of identity (narcissistic, hysterical, depressive, schizoid, and others), to show their particular similarities and differences prevailing emotions and passions, drive and protection; It describes how people perceive themselves and how they see its surrounding.
"Such people are few, 1-2%. They do not like when they get too close, and often scare people with his special behavior. Many believe their "not so." But they got used to it. After my book came out, I was often approach readers to thank for the information, which has helped to themselves or to work. But people schizoid personality type send me emails that say "thank you." They are grateful for the fact that in my description does not even hint at them strangely exaggerated.
People schizoid personality type as a defense mechanism used detachment. They go - from people, alone in a world of their own fantasies. They always choose the distance, and they do not need other distorting protection: denial, dissociation (separating themselves from their unpleasant experiences) displacement. Perhaps, however, they often recognize processes that occur in other unconsciously. The Americans have a saying: "The elephant in the room, but no one notices." People schizoid personality type always see this elephant and surprised that it is invisible to others. But when they try to talk about the elephant, they are seen as crazy. In order to avoid difficulties in communication, they prefer a class, which you can indulge in solitude. In order not to be in the group command. Many of them are engaged in creative work, interested in philosophy, spiritual practices, meditation ...
However, we are unlikely to meet human schizoid personality type that has at least some degree would not be the desire for affection. But there is a problem: trying to close, they are experiencing congestion by excessive proximity, it suppresses and oppresses them. They usually feel better in the company of children and pets. I recently asked a question, like whether people with schizoid personality type and autism. I think they have something in common. For example, they both do not like excessive attention. But there is one significant difference - autistics do not understand the feelings of others. They do not know that the child should embrace ... But they can teach it. A person with schizoid personality type from the beginning know that the child should be taken into his arms. But he can not do it, it is removed from contact in every way, because it is unbearable for him.
Their childhood
The child grows extremely sensitive. He responds to stimuli as if they hurt him. And for a variety of stimuli: sound, light, any changes tactile sensations (such as labels, scratching the skin). When we take such a child in his arms, he was not pressed and suspended, his body becomes stiff. Children with schizoid personality type often refuse the breast. They feel totally unprotected, and any contact is perceived as an intrusion, a violation of their integrity. Even if it's an invasion - mother's nipple in his mouth. We can assume that they have too thin a skin. (I once shared with his patient in this observation: I said that I like sitting next to the man with burns. Whom you need to have touched him, but can not do so because any touch unbearable. This metaphor seemed to her true and appropriate) . I repeat: as a defense man with schizoid personality type prefers to care. But the separation (separation) with anyone he feels very keenly. Why is that? The fact that he is so willing to allow to approach to itself the few and the loss of one of these people will mean the disappearance of the very important support system. Such people are bound to others, but in their company's hard not to feel lonely.
He and other
They can not stand the surface of communication. My husband was the person with schizoid personality type. On the rare occasions when I was able to persuade him to come with me to visit, he immediately found a child or a dog and spent the whole evening with them. Talk about what killed him. He needed a sincerity and honesty. That is why from the point of view of human-schizoid man-tantrums just ... a liar. The fact that the main defense hysteria - an exaggeration. Imagine how intonation woman can utter the phrase: "I am the one-and-a-ak was angry at his moo-oo-oo-Ms-ah!" For her, this way of communication - protection, she wants what she says , it is taken seriously, and it seems, if she says it quietly, she did not believe it. The combination of people with schizoid and hysterical personality types is hard. At the same time, between them there is a long love story. Women are hysterical male schizoid extremely attractive. They appreciate their honesty, integrity, self-sufficient ... And men love women schizoid-hysterical for sensitivity, warmth, emotionality. But together they can drive each other crazy. Because when she is bad, she is trying to move up closer to him, and he pushed back. When he sees that she is bad, he thinks that the best thing he can do for her is to leave her alone. She feels abandoned.
Their features
In people with schizoid personality type many contradictions. They seem to be excluded and uninterested, and themselves live with a deep desire for intimacy. They are self-sufficient, but need another person. Highly dispersed and highly attentive. (I remember the image of the absent-minded professor who is on the road, thinking about something difficult, always stumbles and falls ...) They seem to be inactive, and unemotional, but within them there is an active activity, seething emotions.
I once asked a psychoanalyst with schizoid personality type, psychology, why not much attention is paid to the dynamics of the schizoid? He replied, "You think we can venture some social movement?" Sometimes I think I'm in a sense, to speak after the silent community of lonely people ... which is not very good PR! But I do it sincerely. The inner life of a person with schizoid personality type is very attractive. If it is certain that you will not think him crazy, gradually trust you more, it will tell you a lot about the world of fantasy. My friend-schizoid once confessed that does not eat raisins. I assumed that she did not like the taste. "No, - she said - you do not understand, he could be a fly!" I told this to his other friend, whose husband schizoid. She immediately said that her husband also did not eat raisins. However, it argues otherwise: he does not trust the raisins, which is hidden in a bun. Fascinating! The whole world seems to animate them. In this sense, they are like children.
How to be with them?
I can give a few tips on how to work with people with schizoid personality type. However, they may be useful for normal daily communication.
Such people avoid contact, they are easy to scare. They need as much space, so they feel safe. The therapist must avoid invasion of the patient, I would not recommend to move forward too fast, ask inconvenient questions. That they did not feel "interesting clinical cases." They can not stand insincerity, lies, it is important to be absolutely truthful, real, honest.
Because of difficulties: often therapeutic relationship becomes more comfortable for them than the relationship with the real, ordinary people in ordinary life. You may find that even though people came to you with the desire to become more sociable, during treatment, and that he has not reached. Toward the end of therapy it should be a little push, asking him whether it was possible to solve the question with which he came.
It is important that a person with schizoid personality type know that you find it normal.
So people find it difficult to talk about feelings. Even if they want it. The very act of speaking to them painful. Try to find an indirect way of saying that it is important to: discuss the films, plays, music ... My colleague for weeks talking to the patient about ... pizza. In detail: where in the city do the best than she is so good and so on. At the same time they both realized that not talking about pizza, but the inner hunger, about what his suit. And what a man feels when experiencing the need for one thing, and it offers something quite different. "