2318
Severity of famous people
Famous personalities also competed in wit.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. Fan
Fan: Herr Mozart, I'm thinking to start writing a symphony. Could you suggest how do I start?
Mozart: Symphony, is a very complex musical form. Start with what some simple rhymes, and gradually complicating, move to the symphony.
Fan: But Herr Mozart, you started writing symphonies with 8 years.
Mozart: That's right. Because never, no one asked.
Calvin Coolidge vs. A woman at a dinner at the White House
Woman: Mr. Coolidge, I argued with my friend who told me that I could not pull out of you more than a couple of words. Coolidge: you lost Oscar Wilde vs. Lewis Morris
Morris: Against me there is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of silence. So what do I do? Wilde: Join Winston Churchill vs. Bernard Shaw
Shaw: I reserved for you a couple of tickets to the premiere. Come and grab someone from friends, if you have them. Churchill: At the premiere can not come, I will come to the next session, if it is Winston Churchill vs. Bessie Braddock
Bessie Braddock: Winston, but you're drunk! Churchill: That's right. And you ugly. Tomorrow morning I'm sober. And you will remain ugly. Miriam Hopkins vs. Anonymous Artist
Singer: You know, my dear, and I insured his voice for 50 thousand dollars Hopkins: How cute. And what do you buy them? Ilka Chase vs. Unknown actress
Actress: I loved your book! Who you wrote it? Chase: I'm so glad you liked it! And who you read it? Mahatma Gandhi vs. Western civilization
Reporter: What do you think of Western civilization? Gandhi: I only "for"! Edna Ferber vs. Noel Coward
Coward: You look almost like a man Ferber: You, too, James McNeill Whistler vs. Oscar Wilde
(After some witty jokes Whistler) Wilde: I wish I could tell this joke Whistler Say Oscar, be sure to tell Ernest Hemingway vs. William Faulkner
Faulkner: He never used the word, for the value of which climbed to the reader to the dictionary Hemingway: Poor Faulkner. He really thinks that strong emotions come from buzzwords? John Barrymore vs. Woman in the ladies restroom
Woman: How dare you! This is for the ladies! Barrymore: this too, Madame, it is also (being drunk, Barrymore peed in the ladies' room, and this time turned to his accuser) vs. Robert Benchley Man in uniform
Benchley: sir, do not call you do me a taxi? A man in uniform, I do not doorman, I Benchley Admiral Navy: Admiral? Then let's cruiser! Niels Bohr vs. Reporter
(When I saw over the entrance to the house Bora nailed a horseshoe) Reporter: Do you really believe that a horseshoe will bring you good luck? Bor: Well, of course not. But I have heard that it brings good luck, even those who does not believe Groucho Marx vs. Rival in the show You Bet Your Life
Groucho: Why do so many children? Opponents: Well, I just love my wife Groucho: I also love his cigar, but sometimes still pull it out of his mouth Alcibiades vs. Pericles
Pericles: When I was just as much and you, Pericles, I also reasoned Alcibiades: It's a pity that I did not know you then, because they were the best years of your Abraham Lincoln vs. Stephen Douglas
I'm going to a meeting. What do you think me in the face to go? (After Douglas during a debate called his duplicitous) Bill Clinton vs. Dan Quayle
(When Quayle said he would fight for the presidency as a pit bull) Let this experience pillars and on the street corners of Senator Fritz Hollings vs. Henry Makmastor
(When the opponent has noticed that he had to pass the test for drug use) Hollings: I will pass a drug test if you pass an IQ test New York City Mayor Ed Koch vs. Andrew Kurtzman
(After the reporter insisted on explaining some of his controversial statements) Koch: I can explain to you, but to comprehend it for you I'm not in a position to Abraham Lincoln vs. Foreign diplomats
(When he saw Lincoln in his office polishes shoes themselves) Diplomat: Mr. Lincoln, you are brushing your shoes yourself? Lincoln: Yes, and whose shoes you clean? Winston Churchill vs. MP
MP: Mr. Churchill, you can not sleep when I talk? Churchill: I can not. You lulls me vs. Frank Zappa Showman Joe Pyne
(Style of the show Pyne was sarcastic - as many believed, because of the fact that he suffered a leg amputation) Pine: I think long hair make you girl. Zappa: I think a wooden leg makes you so
Source: ibigdan.livejournal.com
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. Fan
Fan: Herr Mozart, I'm thinking to start writing a symphony. Could you suggest how do I start?
Mozart: Symphony, is a very complex musical form. Start with what some simple rhymes, and gradually complicating, move to the symphony.
Fan: But Herr Mozart, you started writing symphonies with 8 years.
Mozart: That's right. Because never, no one asked.
Calvin Coolidge vs. A woman at a dinner at the White House
Woman: Mr. Coolidge, I argued with my friend who told me that I could not pull out of you more than a couple of words. Coolidge: you lost Oscar Wilde vs. Lewis Morris
Morris: Against me there is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of silence. So what do I do? Wilde: Join Winston Churchill vs. Bernard Shaw
Shaw: I reserved for you a couple of tickets to the premiere. Come and grab someone from friends, if you have them. Churchill: At the premiere can not come, I will come to the next session, if it is Winston Churchill vs. Bessie Braddock
Bessie Braddock: Winston, but you're drunk! Churchill: That's right. And you ugly. Tomorrow morning I'm sober. And you will remain ugly. Miriam Hopkins vs. Anonymous Artist
Singer: You know, my dear, and I insured his voice for 50 thousand dollars Hopkins: How cute. And what do you buy them? Ilka Chase vs. Unknown actress
Actress: I loved your book! Who you wrote it? Chase: I'm so glad you liked it! And who you read it? Mahatma Gandhi vs. Western civilization
Reporter: What do you think of Western civilization? Gandhi: I only "for"! Edna Ferber vs. Noel Coward
Coward: You look almost like a man Ferber: You, too, James McNeill Whistler vs. Oscar Wilde
(After some witty jokes Whistler) Wilde: I wish I could tell this joke Whistler Say Oscar, be sure to tell Ernest Hemingway vs. William Faulkner
Faulkner: He never used the word, for the value of which climbed to the reader to the dictionary Hemingway: Poor Faulkner. He really thinks that strong emotions come from buzzwords? John Barrymore vs. Woman in the ladies restroom
Woman: How dare you! This is for the ladies! Barrymore: this too, Madame, it is also (being drunk, Barrymore peed in the ladies' room, and this time turned to his accuser) vs. Robert Benchley Man in uniform
Benchley: sir, do not call you do me a taxi? A man in uniform, I do not doorman, I Benchley Admiral Navy: Admiral? Then let's cruiser! Niels Bohr vs. Reporter
(When I saw over the entrance to the house Bora nailed a horseshoe) Reporter: Do you really believe that a horseshoe will bring you good luck? Bor: Well, of course not. But I have heard that it brings good luck, even those who does not believe Groucho Marx vs. Rival in the show You Bet Your Life
Groucho: Why do so many children? Opponents: Well, I just love my wife Groucho: I also love his cigar, but sometimes still pull it out of his mouth Alcibiades vs. Pericles
Pericles: When I was just as much and you, Pericles, I also reasoned Alcibiades: It's a pity that I did not know you then, because they were the best years of your Abraham Lincoln vs. Stephen Douglas
I'm going to a meeting. What do you think me in the face to go? (After Douglas during a debate called his duplicitous) Bill Clinton vs. Dan Quayle
(When Quayle said he would fight for the presidency as a pit bull) Let this experience pillars and on the street corners of Senator Fritz Hollings vs. Henry Makmastor
(When the opponent has noticed that he had to pass the test for drug use) Hollings: I will pass a drug test if you pass an IQ test New York City Mayor Ed Koch vs. Andrew Kurtzman
(After the reporter insisted on explaining some of his controversial statements) Koch: I can explain to you, but to comprehend it for you I'm not in a position to Abraham Lincoln vs. Foreign diplomats
(When he saw Lincoln in his office polishes shoes themselves) Diplomat: Mr. Lincoln, you are brushing your shoes yourself? Lincoln: Yes, and whose shoes you clean? Winston Churchill vs. MP
MP: Mr. Churchill, you can not sleep when I talk? Churchill: I can not. You lulls me vs. Frank Zappa Showman Joe Pyne
(Style of the show Pyne was sarcastic - as many believed, because of the fact that he suffered a leg amputation) Pine: I think long hair make you girl. Zappa: I think a wooden leg makes you so
Source: ibigdan.livejournal.com